The Outbreak
by KayLyn666
Summary: After nearly a year on the run, a young mother and her two children stumble upon the prison. Despite hesitance and much distrust, the trio is given a chance to prove their worth to the Prison Group. But in a time when survival is first on everyone's agenda, how does a mother with young children prove she's worth something in comparison to the likes of Daryl and the rest?
1. Introduction

When the outbreak finally hit our small, lakeside town, we were all shocked. There weren't that many people living in Port Clinton, but that didn't stop them from coming. I was in the yard with my 10 year old son and 2 year old daughter when the first of the Biters reached our road. Jacoby saw them before I did.

"Mama, what's wrong with those people?" he asked, pointing at the pack of people stumbling along the dirt road.

"Shit," I muttered, scooping little Lucy into my arms. "Jake, go grab the shotgun," I commanded.

"But mama, dad said never to touch it!" he yelped.

"I'm telling you otherwise. Now!" I snapped. Jacoby ran into the house, our dog following at his heels. A moment later, Jake was back at my side, his father's hunting rifle in hand. He handed it to me carefully, as I handed him Lucy.

"Cover her ears," I commanded as I took aim. I had seen the news reports, and knew that a headshot was the only way to take them out. My husband, Lucas, was out on the lake with my father, fishing for the last time that season. I only prayed that the gunshot would call them home. "Mayhem, sit," I told the dog. She did instantly.

I took aim again, my hands steady, despite my pounding heart. There were only four of them – not enough to post any real threat. They were closing the distance at a slow, but steady rate. I took a deep breath, counted to ten, and fired. I hit the closest in the head with no problem, and to my surprise, the others just kept coming. I knew I wouldn't have time to reload the old gun.

"Inside, now!" I barked. Jake took off towards the house, Lucy in his arms. I backed away as quickly as possible, never letting the…the _things_ out of my sight.

* * *

That was a little under a year ago. We had long since left the safety of our lakeside home. Jake, Lucy, Mayhem and I. We first fled for the CDC, as the radio said to, before lines went down. But there was nothing there. For the last few months, we've been wandering, barely getting by. Our van was stocked with food and clothing, old blankets, and guns, all from the various supply runs we've successfully managed. Jake was fast on his feet, and got in and out easily, but as of late, gas hasn't been an easy thing to get a hold of.

"There should be a prison up ahead a mile or two," Jake said, pointing to a small dot on the map.

"It's probably overrun," I sighed. Almost everywhere was.

"Maybe not," he argued.

"Anywhere else on the map?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the road.

"Mama, I'm hungry!" Lucy complained from her car seat.

"I know baby girl," I sighed. "We'll stop and make dinner soon."

"Can we try the prison?" Jake asked tiredly.

"I dunno," I admitted, "Even if it's not overrun, people might already be there…"

"That would be a good thing! The more people, the less a chance the Biters can get us!" Jake exclaimed.

"Okay," I agreed. I couldn't believe I was taking advice from my 11 year old son, but then again, Jake had his father's smarts. I followed the road, careful not the run over the broken glass.

The sun was setting as the prison came into sight. I looked around and saw Biters approaching the van. For the millionth time since the outbreak, I was grateful for the protection the old Chevy provided.

"Look!" Jake cried as he pointed ahead. I squinted against the bright glare of the sun, and saw what looked like a man, up on one of the lookout points.

"He looks normal!" Jake gasped.

"Just our luck," I grunted. Biters I could handle. Normal people? Not so much. The few we had come across since heading south proved to be a lot crueler than I remembered people being. They all only wanted one thing. Supplies.

I pressed down on the gas, running over several Biters in the process. I didn't stop until I was right up to the gate. I felt eyes watching me as I turned to Jake.

"I'm gonna have to get on the roof of the van, to try and get their attention," I said carefully, nodding at the skylight. "You're going to have to watch my back. If anything gets too close, shoot first, ask questions later, okay?"

"Yes ma'am," he nodded.

"And Lucy, you stay good and quiet okay? Keep Mayhem next to you, and don't let her make any noise, okay?" I told my young daughter.

"uh'kay mama!" she nodded.

"Remember, noise attracts 'em." With that, I popped the skylight and carefully hauled myself onto the roof of the Chevy, a large whiteboard in hand. I'd picked it up a few weeks after making a run for, and it's come in handy more than once. I quickly wrote a message on the board, my hands shaking like a leaf as the Biters chomped and scratched at the van.

**Please let us through. Young children on board. WE HAVE SUPPLIES!**

I could almost feel the eyes on me as I held the board as high as I could.

A few moments later, I lowered the board and added – **Please. I have guns. And food, medical supplies, baby supplies, and blankets. A lot of blankets. **

I knew from experience that nine times out of ten, bribing people with supplies was the only way to get through now a day. After what felt like a lifetime, I saw someone coming to the gate. I tossed the white board into the van, careful to avoid my daughter and dog, before sliding in myself.

"Are they gonna let us in?" Jake asked.

"Hopefully," I nodded. I backed the van up just enough to be able to turn in without rushing the gate. The man who opened it looked tired and well worn. He wielded a crossbow and a sharp knife. As soon as the gate was open, I pushed hard on the gas, clearing the fence in less than 3 seconds. Once I heard it close behind us, I turned the van off and turned to Lucy.

"Jake, I want you to get out and hold onto Luce okay? I know Mayhem's been dying to stretch her legs, so I'm gonna let her do just that. The worst she'll do is run on inside before I can stop her," I said as I unclipped Lucy's seatbelt.

"Okay," Jake said with a nod. He carefully switched the safety back on his gun, before sliding it into his pocket. I moved out of the way so he could get into the backseat with Lucy.

"Mind your manners now," I added as I opened the door, my own small, pistol in hand. I raised my hands cautiously, my eyes locked on the man's crossbow, which was aimed at my chest.

"Easy tiger," I chuckled. "Mind lowerin' that thing 'fore you scare my daughter?" I asked as soon as I heard Lucy's panicked gasp.

"Mama?" Lucy's innocent voice chimed.

"Jake, bring her here," I sighed, changing my mind. The man standing before us hadn't moved a muscle.

Jake handed Lucy to me, his eyes twitching from one side to another, catching every movement.

"Everything's just fine, Lucy Lou," I said softly. I turned to the man, a small smile on my face. "Right, sir?"

"Why are you here?" a voice came from behind. I felt Jake come up behind me, his back against mine. 10 months on the run left us both a better team than ever.

"I'll answer that, as soon as he lowers the crossbow," I said in a hushed tone. "Never turn your back to a gun…or crossbow, my daddy always said."

"Daryl, lower it," the man said. Daryl did so, but only after a moment of hesitation.

I turned slowly, Jake shifting with me, so he was now facing the crossbow wielding Daryl.

"My name's Kayy, and this is my daughter, Lucy, and my son, Jacoby," I said cautiously. "We're from up north. Right off Lake Erie."

"You're far from home," he grunted.

"Aye, but it's better here than it was up north," I admitted. "let's skip the small talk, shall we?"

"Again, I ask, why are you here?" the man asked, his eyes practically piercing me.

"The road's nowhere for a 3 year old to grow up. Not with Biters _and_ horrible humans around. I can't keep her safe from both, not alone. I can give you guns, ammo, food, anything you need or want, in return for a roof over our heads and someone else willing to watch our backs. In return, we'll do the same. I can do anything from supply runs, to dressing wounds, mending clothes, just 'bout anything. And Jake's got a good eye. He's better than most hunters I know," I took a deep breath, hugging Lucy close to my body. She snuggled into my hair, her body shaking against the cool evening breeze.

"Mayhem, get over here," Jake hissed. Carefully, I turned to see the old shepherd mix inching towards Daryl, her ears perked.

"No," the other man said suddenly. "No. We don't bring in outsiders,"

"Rick, she's a young mother with two kids," an older man said, as he approached. As he drew closer, I noticed that he was missing a leg. He walked on the crutches as if they were the easiest thing in the world.

"Hershel, back off," Rick said.

"Rick, listen," I said cautiously. "Give us a chance. I'll hand over all the guns 'sept the two me an' Jake need. I'll get our supplies myself. We'll be more a help than hindrance," I said.

"No, end of story. He said, turning to walk away.

"Rick," Daryl said. I glanced over my shoulder, and saw the gruff, tired man kneeling next to Mayhem, scratching her ears softly. "Maybe it won't be such a bad idea to give 'em a chance."

Rick stopped to consider it for what seemed like a lifetime, as the sun set against the treetops. I felt as if bargaining with this man would prove to be one of the hardest tasks of my life. With Lucy tucked in my arms, Jake at my back, and Mayhem making quick friends with the strangers, I wasn't sure how it would all work out. But in my heart of hearts, I knew it would have to work.

* * *

_A/n- Disclaimer, obviously, I don't own TWD or any of it's characters. ;)_

_The Outbreak takes place after the season 3 finale, and does not follow any real cannon, except for cannon pairings. :) Rates and Reviews are always welcomed, and any and all feed back is greatly appreciated. _


	2. Chapter 1

"Fine," Rick said after the longest pause in the history of pauses. I said nothing, just nodded my thanks, before turning back to the van, Lucy still tightly wrapped in my arms.

"Jacoby, grab the blankets, the bin with the baby supplies, and your bag, then come back out and park the van facing out," I said as I slung my duffel bag over my shoulder, careful not to pinch Luce in the process.

"Sure. Are we really giving them our supplies?" Jacoby asked as he climbed over the back seat, landing gingerly on one of the several plastic bins.

"Whatever they need, they can have. Honestly, I'm good and tired of carrying the damn things around. Plus, Lucy nearly shot herself in the face last time we were loading the guns back up," I shrugged. "I much rather prefer my trusty ol' knife."

"I like my gun," Jacoby grunted. "And Dad wouldn't be too happy if you gave away his riffle. And you know damn well, Grandpa would have a cow if you gave away the musket."

"I'm not giving away our family guns, Jake, only the ones we've managed to collect. The family ones are almost out of ammo anyway," I shrugged.

"What about the food? And medicine? You really gonna just give our stuff away?" Jake sounded ticked off.

"It's survival, Jacoby. I want you and your sister to have a safe place to sleep at night, rather than someone always having to keep watch over the van. I'd like to be able to know that if I turn my back for a hair of a second, I won't turn back to find your sister in the mouth of a Biter, or you, struggling to decide if you can get a clear shot. I need a break, and so do you. So if that means trading our supplies for minimal comfort, so be it," I nodded.

With a sigh, Jacoby started pushing the things I asked for towards the front of the van.

"How did you get all this?" Hershel asked in an awestruck tone.

"A lot of folks didn't make it far, the first few weeks. A lot of it we managed to pack from home, the rest, we managed to pick off the dead or dying," I sighed. "The medical supplies came from a few miles out. Found an old pharmacy and cleared it out. The food from the old army base in Ohio," I shook my head. "A lot of it's probably expired by now, but it's gotten us this far," I added. "Plus, we got lucky. This old Chevy's been a god sent."

Hershel nodded thoughtfully, a sad smile upon his face. He looked up as a blonde woman came limping out, her curly hair a tangle of knots and dried blood.

"I'll be damned," I gasped, hugging Lucy closer to my chest.

"Kayy? " the woman called out, her eyes widening with disbelief.

"Andrea," I smiled, setting Lucy in the van. I ran to the woman's side and threw my arms around her thin frame, pulling her in for a tight hug. "I was sure we wouldn't meet again!"

"I thought the Governor killed you!" she said, her voice thick with tears.

"Naw, we were too fast," I chuckled. "He sure wasn't the first crazy man we've had to deal with. Nearly cost me my dog, but nothing worse than that," I shrugged. "You look well."

"It's been a long few months," she nodded.

"I bet. So, how is the ever _friendly_ Governor these days?" I asked as I pulled away.

"Dead hopefully," a voice from behind replied before Andrea had a chance. Daryl was standing beside the van, Lucy's playfully reaching towards him.

"Good. Good," I nodded, walking back to my daughter. "Thank heaven," I added in a hushed tone. I scooped Lucy up and nodded at Jake. "Bring the other bin in after you get these in," I added before whistling softly. Mayhem bounded towards us, her tail wagging a mile a minute.

"Mind showing us where we can set these down?" I asked Rick, who had been watching us in silence for the past half hour.

"Sure," he grunted, turning without another word.

"Friendly guy," I sighed, shifting Lucy so I could carry her easily.

* * *

The prison was a lot sturdier than I had expected. I was even more surprised when Rick and another man got into an argument over where he should let us set up. I watched with wide eyes, worried that it would be the end of the almost blessing before it even had a chance to start. However, it was Andrea who came to my defense.

"Rick, she's strong, loyal and determined to survive, just like we are. And she's got kids, let her stay with us," she said with a stern tone. "She'll be more a help than you can begin to imagine."

"I second that," a familiar voice chimed in. I turned to see someone I was sure had died months ago.

"Michonne!" I cried, setting Lucy on the floor. I threw my arms around her, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I thought Merle killed you!"

"He only wished he did," she laughed softly, hugging me back. "How'd you end up here?"

"Jake's good with a map. And we figured it'd be safer here than anywhere near the Governor's place," I shrugged, remembering back to the dark day when we stumbled upon the likes of Woodbury. "Whatever happened to Merle?" I asked softly. Merle was the reason my children and I were still alive. Despite his horrible attitude and snide comments, even he didn't have the ability to take down a mother with young children - not really.

"Why does it matter?" Michonne asked, her face twisting with disgust.

"Because believe it or not, I owe Merle my life. He could have taken us out, no problem, but he didn't" I sighed. "He saved us."

"No kidding?" Michonne asked, her eyes widening.

"No kidding. Think we'd have gotten outta there otherwise? The Governor hated me more than he hated you," I smiled.

"Hard to believe that one," Rick commented. "Merle's dead."

I turned around, eyes wide. That was when I caught sight of Daryl, and realization struck.

"Wait, Daryl…As in kid brother Dixon?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat.

"Yeah," he shrugged, his gruff tone indicating that the loss was recent.

"Believe it or not, you brother was a good man," I said softly.

"Don't lie, mama," Jake giggled as he set down the last of the bins. "Merle was somethin' else. Only thing good about him, was that he didn't have the balls to shoot down a baby," he added with a snide smirk.

"Jacoby," I scolded gently. "Merle was more of a man than 'lot of folks these days," I said with a shake of my head.

"You don't know anything about my brother," Daryl said defensively, his eyes flicking with hatred.

"I know that he wanted to find you more than anything in the world," I said softly. "Talked about you all the time. And I know he had a heart, under all that rage and hate for the world. The night he let us get away, he made me make a promise to him too," I sighed. I looked around the prison, a sad smile on my face. "Merle, if you're out there listenin' just like I promised, I'm lettin' you know, I found your brother," I said under my breath. Jake made a grunting sound before picking up his sister.

"Merle only liked you 'cause you were nice to him," he said with a laugh. "You were nice to anyone who held your baby."

"That's true," I laughed softly. "Lucy sure did warm up to him quickly," I added, looking at my pale, dark haired baby. "She had no fear."

"I can't believe you're saying nice things about Merle, of all people," Michonne grunted.

"That's in the past, anyhow," I sighed. I felt a cold nose pressing again my bare calf. I looked down to see Mayhem sitting beside me, her eyes wide, ears perked.

"Hungry Mayhem?" I asked her, kneeling down to rub her head. She barked happily, her tail wagging.

"I can go get her food out of the van," Jake offered.

"It's probably dark by now, you stay in here with Lucy, try to get the blankets laid out, I'll go get the food," I said.

"You can have a cell," Rick offered, nodding towards the open cell doors.

"Thanks, but no thanks. Except for the van, we don't sleep closed into anything," I said with a smile. "We'll be fine on the floor."

"Suit yourself," Rick grunted. I grabbed hold of Mayhem's collar, and quickly clipped her leash to it, before patting her on the back.

"Jake, don't let Lucy out of your sight," I added over my shoulder as I pulled Mayhem after me.

Once outside, I got a chance to take everything in. The stars were shining brightly against the dark blue sky, the cool breeze felt unbelievably blissful. The only reminder of the nightmare of a world we lived in was the semi-constant moaning coming from the opposite side of the fence. Mayhem stayed at my side, her ears perked as she caught every sound.

As I unlocked the back of the van, my hand brushed against the old musket. It had belonged to my grandfather, then my father, and would one day belong to my son. Around the barrel hung my wedding band and engagement ring on a gold chain. Normally, I would have left it there, but since I felt we were safe, I unclipped it and slide in the rings on my finger before fastening the chain around my neck.

"I'll never give up on you, Lucas Jacoby Smith, never," I said softly, tears in my eyes. "You're out there, I know you are."

I closed my eyes as memories of the earlier months washed over me.

"_Mama, what about Dad?" Jake asked as I started throwing blankets and clothing into the plastic bins we had stored in the basement. I made quick work of our wardrobes, determined to gather whatever I could carry. The van was pulled into the double car garage, the door shut tightly against the outside world. _

"_He'll find us, I'm leaving a note," I said quickly as I threw our canned goods into another bin. Mayhem ran circles around our feet as we piled everything in the van, her ears perked with excitement. _

"_Mama!" Lucy squealed, her eyes wide._

"_What Luce?" I asked, leaning over her seat._

"_Where Daddy?" she asked innocently._

"_Daddy's with Grandpa on the lake," I said with a smile. "He'll find us when they get back."_

"_What if he doesn't?" Jacoby asked as he tossed three 50 pound bags of dog food on top of the bins. "What if we're not where we're saying we're going?" _

"_Your father's a smart man. He'll find us," I said with a sigh. "He'll find us."_

"_Okay," Jake nodded, though I could tell by the look on his face, he highly doubted it. I went back into the house one final time, locked all the windows, doors, and pulled all the blinds. On my way out, I caught sight of the news, which I had muted hours ago. _

"…_Again, we warn you all to stay inside. It's not safe outside. The…the outbreak has spread over the entire United States, and several European countries. We're waiting for news from the CDC, but right now, we're told that there is no cure. No matter what, don't get bit."_

_I shook my head. It was a zombie movie come true. I used to joke with my parents and brother about it all the time. How would we survive the Zombie Apocalypse? Of course, we never really thought it could happen. _

_As I got into the van, I flipped the switch, unlocking the garage door. I took a deep breath and drove down the same road I'd driven for years. Except this time, there were dead people walking and chomping. _

"Mama!" a shrill voice broke me from my memories. I turned and saw Jacoby wielding his small pistol, his eyes shining in the dim light.

"Come here," I said gently, opening my arms. He ran to me, still young enough to remember the comfort of a mother's hug. His warm embrace reminded me why I kept pushing forward.

I handed him the bag of dog kibble, before slamming the van door shut. "Let's go get some sleep."

"Mama, do you think it's safe here?" Jake asked softly, walking beside me, his head swiveling back and forth, looking for any sign of danger, a habit he picked up in the first weeks after we left our beautiful, lake side home.

"I think so. Rick and Daryl and the rest seem really capable," I said gently, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I think we're perfectly safe, at least for now."

"For now?" he asked, eyes widening.

"I don't expect to stay here forever," I said truthfully. "It's just another stop along the way. Remember your aunt in Florida?" I asked.

"Yeah, Aunt Jessica," he nodded.

"Well I think that's where your dad might be," I said with a shrug. "I know that's the first place grandpa would go. Especially since Grandma was down there helping with the new baby," I added thoughtfully.

"Why didn't we go there first?" he asked.

"Because, Florida is a lot easier to get to when you don't have Biters around every bend."

"I hate them, you know that, mama? I hate them. I am so tired of being scared for you and dad and Lucy. So damn tired," he said, tears welling in his hazel eyes.

"I know, Jake, I know. I'm tired of it too," I said with a sigh. I looked up at the moonlit sky, for a moment, remembering how beautiful the sight once was. I felt tears fill my own eyes, as I led the way back into the safety of the prison.

* * *

_A/n - Thank you so much for the feedback! And follows/favs! Now, onto answering the questions. ;)_

_Jacoby is Jake's full name and Luce is a nickname for Lucy. :) And Kayy is spelt with 2 y's purposely. ;) I like unique spellings. As for the emotions and details, they're in the works. I normally have a bad habit of adding too much emotion, so I'm trying to find the perfect balance between the two. I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter! _

_Andrea is alive. :) I actually need her for the later chapters, as was some what revealed in this chapter. As for crazy Rick, hehe, all in due time. ;) Rick gets to go insane, but I needed a more sane Rick to actually get into the prison. :) _

_As always, any feedback, both positive and negative is greatly appreciated! Thanks ahead of time! (And don't worry, no Daryl x oc romance.) _


	3. Chapter 2

"Mayhem, stop pacing!" I grumbled as I rocked Lucy back and forth. She was being stubborn and refused to go to sleep. Our dog looked at us for a moment, before continuing her restless pacing. Her ears perked every now and then, but otherwise, her rhythm remained steady and cage-like.

"Mama," Lucy mumbled tiredly, her face buried in my chest.

"Yeah, baby girl?" I said softly, my voice gentle, soothing.

"It smells funny here," she whined.

"Everything smells funny to you," I laughed softly. "You'll get used to it."

"'kay," she said tiredly. I knew sleep would overtake her soon. Jake was sitting with a flashlight in one hand, his father's old leather journal in another. It was one of the few things we still had of his father's, and I knew how much it meant to him.

"Hey Jake, what year are you on?" I asked softly.

"You're wedding day," he said automatically. It was his favorite entry. "Did you really wear a dark red gown?"

"You ask that every time," I said with a sad smile. "I did, because your dad wouldn't let me wear a black one," I laughed.

"And you danced to "Forever Yours"? The same song you sang to me and Luce when we were little?" he asked.

"That, among other songs, yes," I said gently.

"Did dad really write that song?"

"He did," I nodded, tears filling my eyes.

"Do you think we'll ever find him?" he asked, his eyes shining with tears.

"I do," I nodded slowly. "Your dad is a very strong man. He won't give up, and neither will we."

"But what if he's…what if…" a sob broke free from his chest. I laid Lucy, now asleep, on the thick bed of blankets before crawling over to Jake's side. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"If your dad isn't human anymore, then we'll deal with it, just like we did when we found out your uncle turned. We'll hold our breath, take aim, and put him down. And we'll mourn his death, while holding onto each other. We'll remember all the good times, and laugh at the fun memories. We'll laugh and cry, and eventually, we'll heal," I said softly. "But your dad is a strong man. If anyone can survive this nightmare, it's him and your grandpa."

"I just have this feeling…like…I don't know…"Jake sobbed into my chest. "Dad's not coming back, is he?"

I kissed the top of my son's head, and tried to keep my voice steady as I told him the truth. "Your dad very well can be alive. Just because we saw so much death and horror these last few months, does not, under any circumstance, mean your dad isn't alive. But it's been a long, long time. Remember when we left him the note at home? We waited at the police station for 3 weeks, before being run off. If your dad made it back to the house, he would have been there by then. But, even though he didn't, that doesn't mean he's not alive. Remember, they were in the boat when we left. They might have found an island, or a safe place to hold up. When this is all over, I am almost positive we'll find him."

"You can't be sure! There's no way to know for sure!" Jake screamed, pulling away from me, his eyes showing nothing but hate.

"I know." Was all I could say. I stood up and turned my back to him, before turning to him again. "But I'd rather hold onto hope, you know?"

"Sure," he grunted, before lying down beside Lucy. A moment later, he looked at me with a funny look. "Lucy doesn't have her teddy bear, that's why she didn't fall asleep easily."

"I must have left it in the van…" I said thoughtfully.

"Go get it. If she wakes up without it, she'll wake the whole prison," Jake said. I nodded once, before grabbing Mayhem's leash and dragging her after me, once again, surprised by how mature and responsible my eleven year old son was.

* * *

I woke before anyone else the next morning, after only a few hours of restless sleep. After so long on the road, I'd grown used to only light, restless sleeps, rather than deep, refreshing ones. I stood carefully, not wanting to wake either of my kids, before clipping Mayhem's leash onto her collar, so I could take her outside.

Once outside, Mayhem's puppy energy took over. She let out a sharp bark and ran circles around the fence, drawing attention from the Biters who were close enough to hear her. I took a moment to think about it, before pulling my long, sharp hunting knife from my waistband.

"May, wanna go for a run?" I asked her brightly. She barked sharply as I looked for a weak spot in the fence. Though the group had done an amazing job securing it from the Biters, it didn't take long for me to find a spot I could get through with ease. Once Mayhem and I were on the opposite side of the fence, I let out a loud whistle, before taking off at a fast run, my knife clipping Biters as they neared.

"Filthy, rotten, scum!" I shouted, a smile on my lips as I dug the blade deeply into the skull of the Biter closest to us, while Mayhem tackled another, her teeth digging deeply into its eye sockets.

I stopped when we reached the trees. The Biters were thinned out, so we were able to safely stop to catch our breath. Mayhem stood at my side, panting heavily, blood dripping from my lips. She shook herself off, shaking loose a cloud of dust, blood and dirt. Then she looked up at me, almost as if asking if I lost my sanity.

"Oh hush. I needed to get out," I shrugged, laughing softly. "Anyway, what better way to keep fresh?"

She barked in agreement, before taking off after a small group of Biters that must have caught our scent.

An hour later, both Mayhem and I were covered in blood and dirt, none of which our own. We walked slowly back to the fence. I felt a warm swell in my chest, as if I was finally able to work out the frustration and anger I'd been holding in for the countless months since we left our home behind. I had to stop half way to the fence, a wave of dizziness catching up with me. Mayhem whined, her ears perked as she looked at me.

"I'm okay, c'mon," I said carefully, concentrating on breathing easily. I knew what had caused the dizziness – it was something we were always careful about. Ever since the first _real_ attack we had been careful.

"_Jake, swing left," I shouted, Lucy strapped tightly to my back. Mayhem's sharp barks were what led us both to the heart of the battle, as well as safety. "Remember, avoid the teeth, aim for the brain!"_

"_Mama!" Lucy wailed, terrified._

"_Shush!" I screamed. A Biter reached for her, causing me to swing around, my arm catching in the mouth of the enemy. Before his teeth could break the skin, Jake had a bullet in his head. _

"_Be careful!" he shouted over the moans and groans. _

"_I'm trying!" I yelped, swinging around again, this time wedging my knife into the creatures skull. "Jake, run!"_

"_Not without you!" he shouted. _

"_Take Lucy and run!" I demanded, unclipping the set-up in one swift movement. He quickly strapped Lucy to his back and gave me a funny look._

"_Go back to the van. Count to 100 and I'll be there," I told him for the millionth time that week._

"_But…" he started_

"_Go!"_

_He bolted, leaving me just enough time to get high enough in the tree to take aim. It was an old, creaky tree. Had I been thinking carefully, I wouldn't have climbed it. But instincts kicked in before logic. Before I knew it, the group had been killed. All except one. The same one that had been following us for the last 4 days. I took careful aim and then…_

"_Mama!" Jake's terrified scream broke my concentration. I lost my grip on the tree, and the next thing I knew, I landed painfully on the ground, head first. _

"Mayhem, c'mon," I said softly, taking deep, even breaths. My hand reached for the tender spot on the back of my head, where my skull had cracked only months before. By the grace of God, my head didn't split open, but it didn't take a brain surgeon to know that my skull had been damaged, my brain along with it.

Mayhem whined and pressed tightly against my legs, a soft, purr-like sound escaping her lips. I smiled slightly and let my hand fall to her head, carefully making my way back to the weak spot in the fence.

"Next time you pull a stunt like that, be sure to tell someone," a husky voice growled. I spun around, too quickly, to see Daryl perched on the hood of my van. He nodded at the weak spot in the fence "How'd you find that anyway?"

"It's what I do," I shrugged, moving a piece of wood in front of the spot, making sure it would keep most people out. "And I'm not a child."

"No one said you were, but your kids wondered where you wandered off too," he shrugged.

"Don't scratch my van," I grunted, letting Mayhem lead the way back towards the prison.

"What's your story anyway? Apparently you already know mine," he said, following beside me.

"I didn't take you for the friendly type," I muttered sourly.

"I'm not," he said softly. I turned to see a hurt expression on his face. "But you knew Merle, and apparently he liked you."

"He didn't want to kill a mother," I shrugged. "Nothing to do with liking me. My kids rely on me, he knew that."

"Still. How'd you know Merle anyway?" he asked, following beside me now.

"We stumbled upon Woodbury a few months back, after a lot of really tough nights. Merle saved us twice in the time I knew him," I said softly, letting my back rest against the stone, cold wall. I sank to the concrete floor, Mayhem crawling into my lap. "I was hurt something fierce when he stumbled onto our camp. Or us his, I guess. Scared my kids something fierce," I laughed softly, my hand going to my head once again. "The Governor patched me up, and would have made us stay, if Jake hadn't started a ruckus and let a shitload of Biters in," I smiled at the memory. Jake and Michonne had formed a friendship because of that stunt. He trusted her more than anyone there.

"Tough kid," Daryl said softly.

"Sure is. Anyway, obviously, that got us 'kicked' out of Woodbury, which was a good thing, because I wanted out anyway. Don't stay anywhere too long. 'Course I never expected him to put a reward for the return of my head. Literally," I sighed softly, closing my eyes against the rising sun. "Merle helped us get away. Even made sure we were good for a few weeks on our own."

"You speak highly of him," Daryl noted, his eyes locking on mine.

"Merle saved my life twice. My kids too. If he hadn't saw whatever it was he saw in us, we wouldn't be alive right now. At least I wouldn't," I said softly. "He was a monster of a man. Horrible at keeping a conversation going, and even worse at providing comfort, but he was a good man, under all that bravado and hate, he was a good man."

"Mama, there you are!" Jake yelped, rushing over to us. "Lucy's been screaming for you for like an hour!"

"I'll be right there, Jacoby," I said lightly.

"How's your head?" he asked, just like he did every morning.

"Good, as usual," I lied.

"Mama, remember, no lying," he said, kneeling beside me. "How bad does it turn today?"

"Not at all. No pain," I said honestly. "Just the usual tilt an' whirl effect. Of course, playing Warrior Princess with the Biters wasn't my brightest plan. Mayhem had fun though," I added with a laugh. Jake shook his head and pulled me to my feet, taking hold of Mayhem's leash.

"Your daughter wants you," he said sourly. "Better go be the mom of the year. Oh wait, you aren't even capable of that."

His words were bitter, but I was more than used to them. Jake was pissed that his father wasn't with us. And that was saying it lightly. Jake was pissed at the world. He hated how things ended up, and you really couldn't blame him. This wasn't a world for kids. Especially not hate filled kids.

I knew it was only a matter of time before he'd snap. Before we all would. To this day, I didn't know how we made it as far as we did. Between injuries and famine, hardships beyond our wildest dreams, and all without the safety and security of my father or my husband, it was hard to comprehend that here we were, over a year later, still pushing forward, one day at a time.

* * *

_A/n- I actually hate this chapter, so it's far from my best piece. I needed something as filler before jumping right in. Haha, plus, I needed the Daryl x Kayy moment to help me get to the back story. :) All in due time._

_As always, thanks to everyone for commenting, faving, and following! _


	4. Chapter 3

I sat against the wall, late that morning, watching Jacoby play with Lucy. He was trying to teach her how to catch a ball, just like their father did them. My eyes fell to the wedding band that rested on my finger. I felt a mixture of emotions. Love, anger, loneliness. It was impossible to put a name to the real feelings that were filling my heart and mind. Mayhem ran around the room, chasing anyone who would give her the slightest bit of attention. I found myself missing Lucas more than ever. Tears welled in my eyes as I watched my kids run back and forth, both trying to make the most of a bad situation.

"Your son's mature for his age," a familiar voice chimed. I looked up to see Hershel standing beside me, his eyes locked on my face. "You taught him well."

"His father taught him more than I ever did. He's a great kid," I nodded slowly. "He's grown up so much since everything happened, especially after the accident."

"What accident?" Hershel asked.

I watched my kids play for a moment more, before sighing.

"We had a rough patch, a few months ago. We got surrounded after a supply run, and had to use extreme measures to get away. I ended up falling out of a tree and cracked my skull. I was out of it for close to two months, in which time we ended up in Woodbury," I said carefully. "They patched me up, and ya-da-ya-da."

"Does it bother you?" he asked, looking down at me.

"At times. I know the damage it there. But it's a rough life, rough world. No point worrying about it. At least if I die, my brain's already too fried to turn," I chuckled.

"Lucy! Stop!" Jake cried, reaching for her. I hadn't seen her do anything wrong, so I was surprised. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him, causing her to cry out.

"Jacoby! Stop it!" I shouted, getting up quickly.

"Oh, now you want to play mother of the year, huh?" he snapped, pushing Lucy towards me. I grabbed her and picked her up, letting her head rest on my shoulder.

"Jacoby, I swear to god, if you don't stop acting like a spoiled little brat, you'll be sleeping in the field for a month," I growled.

"Better that here!" he shouted. He scooped up his bag and stormed off, probably to take his anger out on the Biters.

Lucy was crying into my hair, her tiny hands gripping at the front of my shirt. Mayhem whined and looked up at me, clearly confused.

"Luce, hey, hey, Jake's just in a bad mood," I said softly. "He didn't mean it."

"He said Daddy's dead!" she wailed, her tears soaking through my shirt.

"He's wrong, Daddy's gonna be just fine," I promised her. "How about you stay with Mayhem, while I go get your brother?"

"No! I want Daddy!" she wailed. I sighed sadly, rocking her back and forth, for the millionth time wishing my husband wasn't MIA.

"I'll watch her, you go find your son," a voice chimed from behind. I turned to see Beth standing by her open cell door. "I don't mind."

"Alright," I nodded. "Lucy, you're gonna stay with Beth for a little bit, okay?"

"No! I want DADDY!" she screamed.

I groaned softly, while I shifted her, so I was looking into her tear filled eyes. "Lucy, Daddy's coming back, I promise. Daddy is coming back."

She looked at me, then nodded. I wiped the tears from her eyes and sat her down on the floor.

"You're going to be a good little girl, and listen to Beth, okay?" I said sternly. She nodded her head, then reached for Mayhem, who sat beside her eagerly.

"I won't be long," I said to Beth as I turned and quickly walked out of the cell block, in search of my son.

* * *

I found Jacoby out in the mist of the Biters. He was taking them down, one by one, with a swift, steady pace. I couldn't help but admire his confidence. He wasn't afraid of them anymore. He hated them more than he hated anything else. He wasn't afraid to get bit. Sometimes, I wondered if he hoped he would, just so he could escape. But he was fast, swift, fluid. In a way, it made me proud.

I didn't want to break his concentration, so I simply sat on the hood of the van, my simple hand sitting beside me, in case he ran into trouble.

"He's got a lot of anger," Rick said as he walked over to the van, his head shaking.

"He misses his dad," I sighed. "And had to grow up too fast. He has a right to be angry."

"You're making excuses for him," Rick said carefully.

"So? He's my son, that's what a mother does. Protect, defend, nurture," I sighed.

"Protect? You're letting him play with Walkers!" Rick chuckled.

"He's fast. He gets it from me. When you're angry, you find a wall, a door, a tree. Something you can't hurt if you punch it. Now, we have Biters. They deserve to be put down, and it's a healthy way to get rid of his anger," I said softly.

"Until he gets bit," Rick said nodding at Jake. "And he will, at the rate he's going."

"That's why I'll wait right here, until he needs me to help him," I said softly.

"You're suicidal, you know that?" he chuckled.

"No, just tired," I corrected.

He didn't have anything to say to that. Instead, we both sat and watched, as Jake took off a dozen or so Biters before finally beginning to show signs of exhaustion.

"Cover me," I said as I jumped off the hood of the van and started towards the weak spot in the fence. After moving the board out of the way, I slipped through, careful not to draw attention to myself. I circled around where Jake was, before firing my gun once. The sound echoed across the field, attracting the attention of the Biters.

"Jake, get back on the other side of the fence," I shouted, sliding my gun into my waistband, before drawing my knife. The Biters were slower than usual. They were slowly starving. The thought made me wonder if they'd die…again…if they didn't get enough flesh. I waited until Jake was close to the fence before starting after the Biters, sinking my knife deep into their skulls. After another five minutes, I quickly spun around, trying to find a weak spot in the advancing Biters.

"Shit," I muttered, realizing that the gunshot had attracted more than I had bargained for. I looked around, and finally made up my mind. My only option was the climb the fence. Now, I'd climbed some tall, dangerous fences before, but never any that hard razor wire at the top. I knew it wasn't the brightest plan, but it sure beat getting eaten.

"Rick, cover me!" I shouted as I neared the fence. He and Jake both took their spots, their guns taking out the Biters closest to me, as I jumped as high as I could, slamming chest first into the fence, my fingers twisting around the links. I quickly got a few feet up, my heart racing. I looked down, and saw that I was in the clear, as long as I didn't slip.

"Watch the wire, ma!" Jake called, looking at me with wide eyes.

"I'm not worried about the wire. I'm worried about falling," I said softly. I climbed to the top, my entire body shaking by the time I did. I touched the wire carefully, flinching against its sharp spikes. I thought for a second, then groaned. I carefully tore my shirt, managing to keep from losing my grip on the links. I tied a piece of my shirt around my hand, pulling it tight with my teeth, before gripping the wire, flinching against the bite. Even with the cloth, it stung. I climbed a little higher, before swinging my legs over the wire, blood dripping from the cuts on my hands.

"She's insane, isn't she?" Glenn muttered to Daryl, who was watching from the ground, a smug look on his face.

"She's stubborn," he noted.

"Insane," Glenn laughed. I looked down, debating on whether or not I could just let go and land, without breaking anything.

"How tall is this fence?" I called down, my arms shaking from exhaustion.

"8, maybe 10 feet?" Glenn said. "Why?"

I smiled to myself and let go. I shifted my weight and landed gracefully on the balls of my feet. I swayed for a moment, before regaining my balance.

"No more Biter Anger Management, okay?" I told Jake, who was watching with wide eyes.

"How'd you do that?" He asked, looking up at the fence.

"I used to swim. And climb trees. I've had my share of close calls. I can land right, most of the time," I shrugged. "Now, go get cleaned up, and put Luce down for her nap, okay?"

"But…but," he stammered.

"No buts." I said with a stern voice. "You had your fun, now go on, shoo." He gave me a bewildered look, but either from being tired from killing Biters or amazed by my clever escape route, his earlier anger was long since gone, and he was once more the sweet, nice child I once knew. He turned quickly and headed back inside, throwing me a look over his shoulder a few times before vanishing from sight.

"You didn't plan that," Rick noted, nodding at my sliced hands.

"Nope. But I never really plan anything these days," I admitted. "No harm no foul," I added.

"You really trust your kid with the Biters?" Glenn asked in amazement.

"No, but I also don't trust me kid with fire or guns or knives, but he gets to use them all anyway. He's a smart kid. I'm not going to sit around telling him what he can and can't do to work off steam. Rather he takes it out on them than real live people, you know?" I said with a shrug. "Anyway, I wasn't far. I wasn't going to let anything happen to him."

"You couldn't guarantee his safety," he pointed out.

"No, but can anyone guarantee anyone's safety these days?"

My question seemed to make everyone consider the cold, hard truth. This wasn't a time for worrying about safety. This was a time to worry about survival, and if I'd learned anything since leaving my peaceful home behind, it was that sometimes survival came at a cost. A risky, uncertain cost, that just might end with sorrow. I couldn't waste my energy trying to protect my son from everything, he had to choose his battles wisely, as did all of us. Because as strong as we may be, nothing was guaranteed these days. Nothing was sure. Nothing was set in stone.

* * *

_A/n- I actually loved writing this chapter, as it wasn't my usual style or routine. I normally avoid dialogue, and I actually found this chapter a bit refreshing. Hopefully you all did too! _

_Thanks, again, for all the responses! I love reading what you guys think! _


	5. Chapter 4

I was sitting against the far wall, on top of our bed of blankets, when I noticed something off about Lucy. She had been playing with her doll with Mayhem beside her for the last few hours, but now, she stared blankly at the wall in front of her. Her lull in her play sent a shiver up my spine.

"Lucy Lou, come here," I called gently. My back hurt from climbing the fence, and my hands still stung from the effort, but all the pain and exhaustion was forgotten when my daughter turned to face me. Her eyes had dark circles, her face ghostly white. The look in her eyes I just couldn't ignore. "Luce?"

A gurgled moan escaped her lips as she climbed to her feet, her tiny hands gripping at thin air. The moans continued as she stepped towards me, her eyes flashing with lifelessness, hunger the only thing on her mind. She lunged at me, her little legs carrying her at a sickly speed.

I couldn't move. My entire body was frozen in fear. Mayhem stared blankly, as if she couldn't care less. The air grew thick, the smell of death overwhelming. Another moan from across the cell block. Daryl approached at a similar, sickly speed, his hands outstretched, his eyes red with hunger. The moans grew louder and louder, as the room filled with Biters. Rick, Carl, Carol. Beth, Maggie, Glenn. Even baby Judith.

My heart raced in my chest as the stench choked me. My eyes stung, my lungs screamed for clean air. My stomach churned, dizziness causing my vision to blur. I tried to reach for my knife, but my fingers wouldn't even twitch.

"No," I moaned. I choked on the sickening smell in the air, unable to find a clear breath. I felt weaker than ever before, even after the long, intense labor of my daughter. A birth that nearly claimed both her life and my own. I felt pain I couldn't even explain. Unbelievable, gut wrenching pain. "No!"

"Hey, hey, wake up," a rough voice kept repeating, strong arms shaking me. "C'mon, wake up."

I sat up quickly, which sent pain up my spine. I blinked, gasping for air, my hair wet against my neck. I felt my hands shaking as I reached for my knife, just to prove to myself I could. After a few deep, fresh breaths, I managed to clear my head enough to comprehend that it was just a dream. Daryl was kneeling next to me, Lucy by his side.

"You scared her half to death," he muttered, nodding at Lucy, who had tears streaming down her face. "You wouldn't stop screaming."

"Mama!" she wailed, throwing herself into my arms. I hugged her tightly, burying my face into her thick locks.

"I'm okay, baby girl," I whispered. I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince her or myself. I laid Lucy down on the makeshift bed and patted her head once, before calling Mayhem over to lull my daughter to sleep. The young dog was eager to fulfill her duty as our priceless nanny. I stood up, still shaken from the dream, and silently made my way to the edge of the cell block, my knife safely tucked in the waistband. Carl threw me a look before unlocking the gate.

"Be careful," he muttered as I stepped past him and quickly made my way outside. The moment fresh air hit my face, I let myself sink to the ground, my head buried in my hands. I remained like that for quite some time, struggling to come to terms with the vivid, all too real dream. I'd had many nightmares since the Outbreak finally reached us, but none as vivid and close to home. None that left me shaken, long after waking up. And none that resulted in me scaring my kids.

A few moments later, I heard what sounded like footsteps approaching. I looked up, my eyes scanning the dark, quiet prison yard. I looked behind me, but in the dim lights, I saw something. The footsteps continued to draw closer, causing me to draw my knife, my breath catching in my throat.

A hand reached for my arm and my knife quickly slashed at my attacker.

"Hey, cool it," a husky voice grumbled, snatching the knife from my hand before I could inflict any real damage. "You'll kill someone if you ain't careful."

"Jesus Christ, Daryl," I snapped, letting myself fall back to the ground. The damp grass felt amazing against my skin.

"You good?" he asked, shining a flashlight at my face, but not to the point in blinded me. I could see a genuine look of concern on his face.

"Just a nightmare," I muttered, closing my eyes. "Just a stupid, way too real nightmare."

"Uh…want to talk about it?" he asked awkwardly.

I patted the patch of grass beside me, though I shook my head.

"No, but you've got my knife, and a flashlight," I muttered. He sat down, and though the silence would have been awkward had it been anyone else, I found it comforting. Just knowing that for a few short moments, I didn't have to watch my own back, knowing that I could take a few moments to finally get my head together, was enough to put my mind at ease.

"Where you from?" He asked eventually, the silence obviously too much for him.

"Originally Buffalo, near Lake Erie, but we moved to Port Clinton 'bout 13 years ago," I said softly. "Lived off the Lake ever since."

"You're a far way from Lake Erie," he noted gently.

"Was headed to Florida 'fore we got cut off," I sighed. "Ended up trying the CDC, with no luck, then all hell broke loose and we ended up here." I couldn't help but wonder, in that moment, if Lucas had made it safely to Florida or not. Surely, he and my dad could have made it. They were smart. Real savvy when it came to travelling. If anyone could make it that far, they sure as hell could.

"You ever wonder if this all has a purpose?" I asked suddenly, turning so I was looking at him.

"Whatcha mean?" he asked, giving me a funny look.

"Like, do you think this was all for something? That maybe, just maybe it'll get better?" I clarified.

"Never really thought about it," he shrugged. "Maybe."

I looked up at the sky, amazed by the thousands of tiny stars. A chill ran up my spine as the familiar sound of tiny footsteps reached my ears. I grabbed the flashlight from Daryl's side and flashed it twice in the direction of the sound. I heard the pace quicken, and a moment later, Lucy came into view, followed by Mayhem.

"Lucy Marie, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I scolded.

"Jakey's bein' mean," she pouted, crawling up into my lap. I smiled into her hair and rocked her back and forth.

"Jake's being a butt these days, huh?" I giggled.

"Yeah!" she giggled, her bright voice reminding me for the millionth time why I loved being a mother. She turned in my lap and shined her flashlight in my face. "Do you think Daddy'll find us?" she asked in the most innocent and heartbreaking tone ever.

"I really, really hope so, Luce," I said softly. "Hopefully he'll find the notes and come get us."

"What if he's in heaven like Dotty?" she asked. Dotty was her first kitten. She was devastated when the kitten died a few weeks before everything went to hell.

"Then he'll guide us, wherever we go, just like Dotty does," I lied. I never believed in Heaven or Hell, but it was easier to tell my toddler the pretty story, than the real one. If Lucas was dead, then odds are that he was stumbling around without any real sense, following the rest of the Biters from one town to the next. That was the main reason we always backtracked before reaching our destinations. Never wanted to risk anything.

"Mama?" she asked, leaning into my chest.

"Hmm?"

"Can we stay here?" she asked softly, looking up at me with those big, bright eyes.

"Yeah, we can stay here," I sighed, too conflicted to tell her otherwise.

She soon fell asleep, nestled against my chest, her hair warm against my bear arms. Daryl remained silent, staring off into the distance, his eyes scanning the empty lot. I watched the stars shift in the sky, not fully aware of how beautiful the sight was, nor fully aware of how exhausted I really was, both physically and emotionally.

At some point, we all must have dozed off, because by the time Mayhem woke me up with her barking, the sun was beginning to rise in the sky. Mayhem was standing in front of my face, literally, her barks sharp and shrill. I tried to sit up, but was weighed down by Lucy, who was sprawled half on me, half on Daryl, who was starting to wake up. I was leaning heavily on his side, too comfortable to really want to move.

"Someone better be dying," I grumbled as I rolled Lucy off my lap. She didn't even wake up as she hit the wet grass. Instead, she curled into a protective ball and remained asleep. Daryl, on the other hand, was struggling to stand, his legs numb from having Lucy across him all night. I sat up and looked around. There was absolutely nothing to be seen, except for a few Biters who were hovering by the fence, alerted by Mayhem's bark.

"Damn dog," I muttered tiredly. "Shut up." She continued to bark until I finally stood up and laid a hand on her shoulder. She took off running, with her ears perked and her fur standing on end. Something had caught her attention, and from the sound of her barks, it wasn't good.

"Lucy, get up," I said, shaking her. She groaned and blinked at me like I was crazy. "Go back inside. Wake up Rick or Carl or Glenn. I don't care which. Now!" I ordered her. She blinked again, then realized that my tone was urgent. She took off at a sleepy run, her legs carrying her as fast as possible.

"Can you stand?" I asked Daryl, who was rubbing his legs, trying to work sensation back into them. He gave me a dirty look before nodding. I scanned the empty lot, before whistling loudly. Mayhem returned to my side, as trained, but her fur was still on edge, her teeth bared. I held onto her collar as Daryl swung his crossbow over his shoulder. We waited until Rick finally reached us.

"What's wrong?" he asked, stopping short when he heard Mayhem's feral growl.

"Not sure, but whatever it is, it's got Mayhem worked up," I said.

"Did you sleep outside?" he asked, nodding at the grass stain on my shirt.

"Sort of. Anyway, let's go," I said. I let go of Mayhem's collar, and the three of us followed her around the side of the prison, letting her stay a few feet ahead of us at all times. My gun was drawn, along with my knife, in case it was just Biters. Mayhem was used to them, but she was also trained to alert me to their presence.

When we reached the cars, I knew something was wrong straight away. The van was wide open, its engine running. I crotched down, my gun level with the door. Mayhem kept on running, her growls louder than ever.

"Could someone have gotten in?" I asked, looking at Rick and Daryl, who were both kneeling, their own weapons aimed at the van.

"Someone was on guard at all times," Rick said softly. "So it's not likely."

"Shit," I muttered as a thought dawned on me. I lowered my gun and got to my feet as Mayhem's barking turned into a pained howl. I ran in the direction of her cry.

I felt Rick and Daryl following, both curious and worried at the same time. We cleared the van, now in clear view of the fence. Mayhem was laying on the ground, panting heavily, low whines escaping her mouth. I didn't see any blood. I didn't see anything out of the norm.

"May, come," I called softly. She looked at me and pawed the ground beneath her. Suddenly, my heart dropped. I looked across the field on the other side of the fence, my heart pounding in my chest.

Mayhem turned her head to the sky and let loose a howl that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

* * *

_A/n- This chapter was actually the first chapter I wrote for this fic (I rarely write in order, haha) and is by far one of my favorites. A gentle reminder - no, where will not be any Daryl x Kayy romance. Friendship? Definitely. Romance? Not a chance. ;)_

_I loved being able to take a moment to really visualize this chapter, and I might end up rewriting it in the future, to really capture the moment better, but for now, I love it how it is. _

_Let me know what you think. ;) Sorry to leave you at a cliff hanger, and I haven't written the next chapter yet, and still don't know which way I'll go with it. I'd love to know what you think is going to happen next though! _


	6. Chapter 5

_The day Lucas asked me to marry him, was the day every dream I ever had come true. I'll never forget the look in his bright, hazel eyes when he got down on one knee, his hands shaking as he opened the little velvet box, producing a beautiful diamond ring. His voice cracked as he took a deep breath, nervous and excited, happy and scared. _

"_Kayy Lyn Scott, I love you with my entire heart and soul. You're the rock to my roll, the butter to my toast, the sun to my blue skies. You're everything I ever dreamed of and so much more. Will you marry me?" he asked after a moment of silence. I'll never forget how tears streamed down my face as I nodded quickly, unable to utter a simple 'yes'. _

_He threw his arms around me, spun me around, and placed the beautiful, yet simple ring on my finger. _

"_Till death do us part," he whispered softly, his voice sending a chill up my spine. _

I felt my entire body shake as I took a step towards Mayhem. Her howls stopped, but were quickly replaced by a broken, beaten whine. Once I was beside her, I knew why.

Lying on the ground, curled in a protective ball, was Jacoby, his hand trembling, his face a sickening shade of white. His eyes were wide, but unseeing. In his hands, was what looked like an envelope?

"Jake?" I asked softly, falling to the ground beside him, my hands shaking as I pushed his hair from his face. His skin was ice cold. He didn't move. His lips trembled. I quickly scanned him for any sign of injury, but there was none.

"Jake, what happened?" I asked softly, pulling him into my lap. He shook against my chest, his entire body trembling. He slowly pressed the envelope into my hand, his own as cold as ice.

_Our wedding was everything I dreamed of and so much more. We both agreed that we weren't having a traditional wedding. Instead, I was dressed in a short, deep red and black dress, him in a simple, yet elegant black tux. The waves were crashing on the beach behind us, as the minister told us to face one another._

"_The bride and groom have decided to say their own vows," he said, nodding at me to begin. _

"_Lucas, words cannot describe how much I love and cherish you. From the first moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were meant to be mine. You have given me strength when I've been weak, laughter when I have been sad and companionship when I have been lonely. You've taught me how to love without fear of being hurt. You've given me more than I could have ever asked for, and you have completed my world in every way possible. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, through the good and the bad, the happy and sad. I know we'll always have each other's backs, no matter what. I love you, till death do us part," I said, tears of joy running down my face. _

_I slid the wedding band onto his finger, my hands shaking ever so slightly from excitement. _

"_Kayy, you are everything I ever dreamed of in a wife and so much more. Your strength and courage has been a constant reminder of how much you're willing to go through, just to get to where you've always known you were going. You're beautiful, determined, and compassionate. You're so much more than words could ever fully explain. I know we'll always have each other's backs, no matter what. I love you, till death do us part," he said, his hazel eyes shining in the light of the setting sun. He slid the ring onto my finger, before kissing my hand softly. We both turned in unison, as the minister said "I now pronounce you, man and wife. You may kiss the bride."_

_That kiss, would be my favorite for years to come. The passion and trust, love and endurance, all brought together in a simple show of affection. His hands held mine, as we made our way down the make shift aisle to be congratulated by our families. _

Jake looked up at me, his eyes full of fear. He tried to say something, but no words came. Instead, he pointed at the envelope in my hands. I looked at it, then, taking a deep breath, I opened it.

That was when I noticed the blood. I took a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest, as I pulled the piece of tattered paper out of the envelope. Along with it, fell Lucas's wedding band. The moment it landed in my hand, I knew something was terribly wrong.

**K  
I was so close. So fucking close. But it doesn't look like I'm gonna make it. The fever's settin' in and I know it's just a matter of time now. I'm gonna try to stick this through the chain links. See if I can't get it on your side of the fence. **

**Don't worry, babe, I ain't in any pain now. Numb, really. You'll be okay. You and Jacoby and Lucy. And that damn dog of yours. I can hear her barking already. **

**I'll always love you, till death do us part.  
- L**

At first, I couldn't comprehend what I was reading. It didn't make sense. What was he talking about? How'd the letter even get here? And why did he take off his wedding band? None of it registered for several long, silent minutes. Finally, realization dawned on me, and my world came crashing down around me.

"No," I whispered, tears in my eyes. "No, no, no, no!"

Jake turned his head so he was facing the other side of the fence, before raising in hand slowly, pointing at a figure stumbling around with the rest. The familiar leather jacket was my sign. Out there, with the rest of them, was my Lucas.

"Can you walk?" I asked Jake. He looked at me for a minute before shaking his head. I thought for a moment, then looked towards the prison. "Can you try?" I asked. His eyes were vacant, not really seeing or hearing anything I was saying. He was in shock, which was no surprise. "Jake, listen to me, you have to go inside, okay? Go sit with Carol or Beth or Maggie. Okay?" I begged. I helped him stand. He was shaking so badly, I wasn't even sure if he could make it back to the safety of the prison, even if he tried. Much to my relief, that was when Glenn came running, Maggie close behind.

"Take Jacoby inside, okay?" I asked them. They both looked at the note in my hand, then out into the field. Maggie must have seen him first, because she grabbed Glenn's arm and nodded once. They had the silent communication thing going on. Glenn scooped Jake up in his arms, shot a sideways glance at Daryl and Rick, then started towards the prison. Maggie was rubbing circles in Jake's back. I turned away, unable to watch as they carried my broken, confused son away.

I took a deep breath and looked out into the field.

"Want me to…?" Daryl asked, shifting his crossbow. He had seen him now too. Rick too probably. It wasn't hard to; Lucas's old, tattered leather jacket looked out of place among the other Biters, who were spread thinly across the field.

"No," I said softly. I'll do it."

"I'm not letting you go out there," Rick said sternly.

"Try an' stop me," I grunted. I turned and walked towards the weak spot in the fence. Mayhem was close behind. When I reached it, I stopped short, a strangling, choking feeling filling my chest. I crotched down, struggling to find air. Mayhem pushed her furry head into my face, a soft whine vibrating her body.

"Cover me?" I asked Rick, who had followed me over. Daryl was standing close to the fence, his crossbow level with Lucas's head. I knew he'd take him out if I failed too.

"Yeah," Rick's rough tone said, followed by a nod. I nodded once then stood, my hand shaking as I moved the board. I slipped through the small opening. For once, Mayhem remained where she was, not willing to follow me. I walked carefully as to not draw any attention to myself. A few Biters caught my scent and started towards me, but they were too far off to prove a threat.

I circled around, until I was closest to Lucas. I clicked my tongue, just loud enough for him to hear. He turned around, his eyes a deep, blood red instead of their usual hazel color. I saw a deep bite wound on his arm, another on his chest. He stumbled towards me, arms outstretched. From the look of him, he was fresh. Maybe a few hours old. He came at me, his teeth gnashing together. Until he was right in front of me. I grabbed a stick off the ground and held it out, keeping him at arm's length. I looked at his face, my heart breaking with every passing second.

"You were so close, Luke. So fucking close," I said, tears running down my face. "So, fucking close." I wanted to reach towards him. Feel him against me one last time. My arms sagged, letting him get a little closer. "I love you, you know that? Till death do us part, right?" My arms sagged even more. Luke was close enough to bite me. He was going to. I knew it.

The whistling sound reminded me of the dangers. I threw myself to the ground only seconds before one of Daryl's arrows crashed through Lucas's skull. He fell on top of me, his blood dripping onto my face. I pushed him off, gasping, my heart pounding quickly in my chest. A wave of dizziness overtook me, and for a moment, I was blind. The haze cleared quickly though, mostly because I was overly aware that I was exposed. I pulled myself to my feet, before looking down at my now dead -again- husband. I sighed and knelt beside him, placing one foot on his chest, my hands locking around the bolt that put him down. I pulled hard and tore the thing from his skull. I looked at it for a moment before sliding it into my boot, tail first. I looked down at him, tears flowing freely at that point. My heart begged me to drag him back with me, so he could be laid to rest properly, but my head told me otherwise. I'd have a hard enough time getting back to the fence, much less with a corpse. Instead, I pulled out my last zippo lighter and flipped it open. The flame flickered in the wind.

"Till death do us part," I whispered as I tossed the lighter onto his body, stepping back as it caught. The smell caused the other Biters to start towards me, but the cloud of black smoke provided me with an easy get away. I was back to the safety of the prison yard in a minute flat.

"Can I have that back?" Daryl asked, pointing at the bolt as I passed him.

"No." I kept walking, my hands trembling. I didn't stop until I was to the van, where I climbed in, slamming the door behind me. I quickly locked the doors, so no one and nothing could distract me. I laid down on the backseat, the smell of dog slobber and baby vomit filled my nose. A smell I had grown used to over the last 12 months. I laid there, flat on my back, staring at the sky light, my eyes locked on a bug that had long since died there.

"_Welcome to the world, Jacoby Ashton Smith, happy birthday," Lucas said happily, tears in his eyes as he held his son for the first time. My heart swelled with joy as I watched the moment unfold. After a long, painful labor, there he was. Our beautiful baby boy. His eyes shined brightly with fresh tears, his tiny fingers exploring his father's face. The nurse snapped a picture, before smiling at me. _

"_Congratulations Mrs. Smith. Your son is beautiful," she said brightly. She handed me the camera before nodding at Lucas. "You two make beautiful babies."_

"You were supposed to be there for him, no matter what," I whispered, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. "He needs you."

_7 and a half years later, I fell ill 24 weeks into my second pregnancy. Lucas was scared to death that he'd lose both me and our unborn daughter. When the doctor came to us and told us that if I didn't terminate the pregnancy, there was a high likelihood that I would die, we faced the first of many tragic moments. _

"_I'm not terminating," I said stubbornly. "I'll take the risk."_

"_Don't be stupid, we can have more babies, Kayy, but there's no way I'm losing you," Lucas said, holding my hand tightly in his. Tears filled his eyes as he looked at me._

"_I'm not losing her," I said softly. _

_12 hours later, Lucy Marie Smith was born. She was tiny, only weighing 1 pound, 3 ounces. She was tinier than any newborn I had ever seen. It would be months before she could come home with us. But eventually she did, and she was the light of our lives ever since. _

"Damnit Jacoby, you weren't supposed to go first!" I sobbed bitterly, the tears now choking me. "How am I supposed to tell Lucy?"

I pounding on the door make me jump, nearly falling onto the dirty floor in the process. I looked up to see Daryl standing there, beside him, the ever faithful Mayhem. She was barking her head off, clawing at the door. No doubt leaving even more scratches and chips in the paint.

I didn't care. I didn't want company, no matter what kind. I turned my back to them, burying my face into my arms.

"Open the door, before I break the goddamned window," Daryl demanded.

"Go away," I said bitterly.

"Not until you come out here," he said. He kept pounding on the door until it drove me insane. I gave up and pushed the door open, not even feeling the slightest bit of regret when it slammed heavily into his stomach. Mayhem jumped into the van, her wet feet leaving muddy prints on my bloodstained upholstery. I slammed the door shut again and turned the engine on.

"Where are you going?" he demanded, grabbing at the door.

"Nowhere," I said, growing increasingly annoyed. I turned on the CD player and let the loudest, cruelest Godsmack song I could find blare over the speakers. The music was oddly comforting. I laid back on the dirty, disgusting seat, my head resting on Mayhem's back. I closed my eyes and tried to think of a better time. A time where Zombies were just figments of our imagination. A time where laughter and love weren't so hard to find. A time when everything was perfect and happy and real. Not a time of destruction, hate, and sorrow.

_The day Lucas brought Mayhem home was one of the last times I saw him. The puppy was a birthday present, one I'd learn to love, despite her flaws. She was a ratty looking, scrawny mutt with paws too big for her body. Her thick fur would prove to be both a blessing and a curse as time passed. She was sparky and smart, eager to please. _

_That was how she became my chest friend. Her gentle way and meek personality was what made me love her more and more each day. _

_6 months after, the world went to hell._

"He's really gone," I whispered, burying my head into Mayhem's matted fur. She whined softly, her tail wagging ever so slightly against the upholstery. I felt her body vibrate as she tried to comfort me. "It's finally over."

* * *

_A/n- Oh, the tragic, twisted story. I love this chapter. Honestly and truly. I adore it in every sense of the word. I hope it tugs at your heart as it did mine! _

_To D.B. Cooper - I totally agree, TWD definitely needs a dog. But then again, they have Daryl. ;) _

_To everyone else who commented, faved and followed, thank you, so, so much! 3 I've yet to decide just how screwed up Jake will be now that he saw what he saw, but this was definitely a vital chapter. It'll resurface things in both Rick and Daryl too. And add a common ground for an unlikely trio, as well as another unlikely trio in the later (waaaaay later) chapters. Beware for POV change within the next 5 or so chapters. I haven't decided completely yet._

_Side Note - I go out of town next Wednesday, so I won't be updating until I get back from vacation (Rock on the Range weekend's coming up!) But I'll definitely work on the next few chapters until I leave, and when I get a few minutes here and there, I'll work on the chapters I won't be able to post right away. _

_As always (and I swear, I'm getting tired of repeating myself, to myself, haha) comments are always appreciated! They help me form a better story! Keep 'em coming! I also need an idea for a Carol x Daryl moment, so let me know if you have any ideas. ;) I have a few, but I'm not sure if I want to use them. ;) _


	7. Chapter 6

It wasn't until much later, long after the sun had set, that loneliness caused me to look out the window. I wasn't used to the quiet. Even in the safety of the van, it made me feel vulnerable. Mayhem was half asleep across my lap, her head resting softly on my chest. I pushed her off, startling her for a moment, before shoving the heavy door open. To my surprise, Daryl was sitting on the ground next to the van, his back to me. I knew Rick, Glenn and him were taking shifts watching me, in case I decided to do something stupid like face the Biters without a weapon or wander into the woods without anything but my dog at my side. I had overheard Rick telling the others that it was just a matter of time before I cracked. But he was wrong. I wasn't going to crack. I couldn't afford to. I had two children that relied on me more than anyone else. That thought made me feel even worse. I had left my kids with the others for the entire day, something I never would have done under any other circumstances. Deep down, I knew I hadn't come to terms with losing Lucas, but in the same breath, I knew they hadn't either.

"Daryl?" I called softly, hoping I wouldn't startle him. Nothing was more frightening that a crossbow wielding madman. I knew how Merle could get under pressure, and I wasn't familiar with his younger brother to say the least.

He turned to look at me, a tired, sad look on his face. For the first time since meeting him, I saw that he was far more human than his brother had been. I slid back into the van and patted the seat. He hesitated for a moment, then climbed in. We sat in a comfortable silence for a while, until heavy footfalls made us both look back outside. Glenn, followed by Rick, Maggie, and Carol were quickly approaching. Maggie had Lucy in her arms. When they reached the van, I immediately reached for Lucy, who clung to me like glue. Her eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with red, a sure sign that she had spent the better part of the day crying.

"Mama?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

"Yes baby?" I said softly. My throat was dry from crying all day.

"Is daddy really dead?" she asked. Her tiny hands were on my chest, her eyes welling with tears.

"Yeah baby girl, Daddy's dead," I said truthfully. She let out a sharp cry then buried her face into my chest. I leaned back, sliding as far over as I could. Everyone piled in, to share in the silent moment.

"How's Jake?" I asked Glenn, who had his arm wrapped around Maggie's shoulders.

"Sleeping. He didn't say anything at all, all day," he said.

"At least he's sleeping," I said softly. I looked up at the sky through the skylight, and sighed softly. I rocked Lucy back and forth as best I could while being wedged between Rick and Daryl. Lucy didn't stop crying until she fell into a restless sleep, which was when I shifted her, so she was spread across the three of us. It was easier to breathe that way.

"I wanted to bury him," I said softly. "So fucking badly. I just wanted to drag him back and lay him to rest the right way."

"You didn't though," Glenn said softly, looking at me in the dim light.

"No. I wasn't going to risk everything again. Honestly, if Daryl wasn't watching, I'd probably be out there right now," I sighed sadly. "I just couldn't do it."

"Most people couldn't. No one expected you to," Maggie said softly. She reached across and took my hand. "Just you goin' out there to face him, that was more than most would have done."

I sighed and leaned back, letting the cool night's air sooth away some of the pain.

"Are you gonna come back inside? Jake could really use him ma right now," Maggie said softly. I thought for a moment, then shook my head.

"If I go back in there, I'll just be reminded of how if we had waited a few more days, none of this would have happened. If I parked the van and waited, he'd have made it to us alive," I pressed my eyes shut as I thought about the situation.

"Or your all could have been dead," Rick offered. "You followed your instincts, that's what's important."

"No, what's important is that I keep these kids safe. I promised Jacoby that his dad would find us, and we'd all be together again. How am I supposed to even look at him, without him hating me?" I said. I shifted Lucy a little. Mayhem whined, her tail thumping against my leg.

"You're not. He'll be okay. He seems like a tough kid," Glenn said. "Anyway, you're better off here, where you're safe, than out there, where nothing is guaranteed."

"Nothing's ever guaranteed anymore," I sighed.

Suddenly, Mayhem's ears perked. She let out a low growl, struggling to get to her feet in the small space.

"What's wrong Mayhem?" I asked, reaching down to pat her head. She growled viciously, her fur standing on end. I knew instantly, that something wasn't right.

"Maggie, stay here with Lucy," I said softly. I pushed the sleeping toddler into her arms as I motioned for Daryl to climb out of the van. He did so without hesitation, Mayhem jumping out after him. Rick, Glenn and I all followed close behind.

The moon was high in the sky, providing enough light for us to see. Mayhem stopped short before we even had a chance to leave the side of the van, her tail tucking between her legs, the same way it always did when Lucas came home from a long day at work. Her ears perked forward, her tail wagging between her legs. I blinked for a moment, unable to comprehend what I was seeing.

"Lucas?" I said at the exact same moment that Rick said "Lori?" and Daryl said "Merle?"

We all blinked and exchanged strange looks. Glenn just stared at us like we were completely insane.

"We've fallen out of the coo-coo's nest," I sighed, sitting down heavily on the damp grass. Mayhem whined and looked in the same direction we were. I still saw him, Lucas, standing there, dressed like he always was. A ripped pair of jeans, a plain t-shirt, and that old, tattered leather jacket.

* * *

She wasn't really there. She couldn't be. She was dead. Been dead for a month or so now. How was she standing right there, clear as day? She looked so damn beautiful.

The light from the moon made her eyes look even more beautiful than they did in the day time. Her long, dark hair shined. She was glowing.

* * *

There ain't no way I'm looking at my brother. He's dead. _Just keep telling yourself that, you old coot,_ I kept thinking.

But no. He was standing there, clear as day, that smug look on his face.

"There somethin' on my face, baby brother?"

* * *

Mayhem barked sharply, breaking us all from our thoughts. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, finally losing sight of the man of my dreams. I stood up, shaking like a leaf, my heart pounding in my chest.

"I'm crazy, right?" I asked, staring at Glenn. He was the only one who seemed unalarmed by the situation. The only one who hadn't seen anything?

"You're all nuts," he nodded slowly.

I looked at Rick and Daryl, both of which were now rubbing their own eyes.

"I swear to god I just saw Lori," Rick said slowly, as if he wasn't sure himself.

"I saw Merle," Daryl said simply. "Or at least, I think I did. Heard him too."

"Great, we've all gone batty," I snorted. "Including my goddamned dog."

"Must be the heat," Glenn suggested. "Making you all go crazy? People see things when they're dehydrated, right?"

"Sometimes," I shrugged. "But I'm not dehydrated. There's like 20 gallons of water in the back of the van. Water's the least of my worries."

Mayhem whined again, then sat up, her ears twitching. I followed her gave, both curious and terrified. She got up and trotted over to Daryl's motorcycle and laid down, her tail thumping. I blinked, startled by her reaction. She was a calm dog for the most part, but motorcycles, whether on or not, terrified her, ever since she was nearly ran over as a puppy. The only time she was ever calm by them was when Lucas was working on his brother's.

"Mayhem, enough, or your sleeping with the Biters," I scolded. She looked at me for a moment, then let out a small, puppy like yap.

I couldn't help but wonder what was going on. It didn't make any sense at all. Why were we seeing our dead loved ones? Why the three of us? Had it just been me, I'd know it was just shock. But Mayhem seemed to sense them too. Which made no sense at all. They were dead. Good and truly dead.

* * *

She was scared. Anyone could see it written all over her face. She was trying to justify it in her mind. She began to pace, which made me nervous. She muttered things under her voice as she walked, almost as if she was trying to work out some secret or something.

I didn't want her to join us in the first place. Strangers always brought trouble. But Lori would have welcomed her. She would have begged me to let her and her kids stay. Lori was sensible like that. God, I miss her.

But Kayy, she's losing it. She wants to give up. Maybe that's why she keeps throwing herself at the Walkers. Maybe she's hoping to get bit. Her kid too. He seems too messed up. Too messed up for a kid his age. But what does that say about Carl? Carl killed a kid in cold blood.

And what about her thing with Merle? I never heard anyone talk fondly about that old bat. Merle was a menace. A monster. A cold blooded, cruel man. He nearly cost us Maggie and Glenn. Yet she swears he saved her and her kids.

Why would he? There's nothing special about her. She's reckless, suicidal even. She doesn't think before she acts. Shit, if Daryl hadn't been watching her so damn close, she'd be dead. Or worse.

It's crazy, it's all fucking crazy. They're all crazy.

I'm crazy.

* * *

"Rick?" Daryl's rough voice asked softly. I turned and saw Rick spinning in a circle, his face pale. Daryl put out his arm to keep him from falling. I knew the look all too well.

"He's going into shock," I said quickly, coming to his side, my fingers reaching for his wrist. His heart was racing. Sweat was dripping off his brow. I gently laid a hand on his shoulder, stopping his sickening spinning.

"Rick, stay with us, you hear?" I said as gently as I could.

_I can't handle this,_ I thought. _I'm going to go insane! This is nuts. Absolutely insane. _

"Rick, why don't you sit down?" Glenn advised softly.

"Right, right," Rick muttered, his legs giving way. His weight felt heavy against my side as I guided him to the ground, as carefully as I could. I left a hand on his shoulder, my own heart racing in my chest.

"The air," I said suddenly a thought crossing my mind.

"Excuse me?" Glenn said.

"The air. I burned Lucas's body. What if it released something into the air?" I asked, my eyes widening.

"We've burned Walkers before without any problems," Daryl pointed out. I didn't know that. I never stuck around long enough to dispose of them. I knew that their bites were ineffective on dogs. Mayhem was bit a few times and never turned. Never really bothered her at all. But I'd seen people change. The fever set in quickly a lot of the time. Then came the weakness and the hallucinations. And when their hearts stopped, you only had a few minutes before they turned completely. Turned into the mindless killing machines.

"Maybe it's changing," I said slowly. "Maybe something's changing."

"What do you want to do? Experiment?" Glenn snorted.

"No," I said quickly. "I'm crazy, remember?"

_Crazy. We're all crazy._

_Crazy to believe we can make it through this. Make it to what? The world's dead. The world's gone to hell._

_What are we trying to make it to?_

"Ashes, ashes, they all fell down."

* * *

_A/n- Yay! Craziness! I've never tried to write crazy people before, and never from three different point of views all at once! So I'm sort of excited to be able to experiment with this trio for a while. Don't worry - Daryl will keep some of his sanity. ;) Can't have a crazy, cross-bow wielding, red neck running around, right? _

_Since I'm skipping some of the cannon stuff, it's going to be fun to add a few little details in where they weren't before, as well as a few twists and turns with the Zombie Plague. Hopefully you enjoy it as much as I do. :D _

_Watch out - if Glenn has it his way, the three of them are going to wind up locked in cells for a while. Just kidding, of course. :) _


	8. Chapter 7

I was stroking Jacoby's hair when I heard the first gunshot. Lucy was sleeping in Maggie's lap. I think she took to Maggie because of her gentle nature. I appreciated that. Jake, on the other hand, hadn't spoken in the three days since his father's horrible demise. None of us slept really. Except Judith and Lucy.

"Rick again?" I asked Glenn, who was standing by the metal bars, his own rifle, one from my stash, slung over his shoulder.

"Yeah," he sighed. Rick was the farthest from okay. He kept shooting at invisible monsters, to the point we had to keep him away from everyone else. After he nearly took off Daryl's head, we knew it was time to keep him at bay.

"I'll go see to him," I sighed, carefully moving Jake's head from my lap. He didn't make a single sound as I laid his head gently down on the blankets. "Mayhem, stay," I said. My dog was still chasing after ghosts. Literally.

We'd all been on edge since the first night following our…mental break. Daryl was sour after nearly getting his head blown off, which was understandable. And since we weren't letting Carl within range, that left me to deal with Rick's…outbursts. He was worse than a cranky newborn, but it gave me something to distract myself with.

I walked over to Glenn, who gave a single nod before pushing the metal bars open so I could get out of the cell block. I checked my gun to make sure it was loaded, before heading outside.

Rick was standing in the middle of the field, screaming nonsense at invisible figures. The cold rain sent chills up my spine.

"Rick, come on now, stop it, you're okay," I called loudly. I was wary, afraid of getting shot.

"You're dead! You're dead you stupid bitch!" he screamed. He turned, his eyes showing nothing but hatred. "You're dead! Why can't you leave me alone!"

"Rick, I'm not Lori. I'm not. Now come on, calm down," I said, stepping into the light. I looked up at the look out. Carl was there, his eyes locked on his father.

"You're dead! Stay dead you stupid bitch!" he screamed, throwing himself at me. I jumped aside, not ready to get thrown to the ground for the millionth time that day. I came to his side and placed both hands on his shoulder.

"Rick, look at me," I said softly. "I'm not Lori. Lori is dead," I said gently, one hand rubbing circles into his back, just like I did for Jake or Lucas whenever they were angry or sad. "Lori is dead."

He seemed to calm down after that. I closed my eyes for half a second, just to clear my head, and before I knew it, he completely lost it.

* * *

She's everywhere. She's supposed to be dead. Why is she doing this to me? It's bad enough that I have to deal with Carl acting like Shane on a daily basis, and not knowing if Judith was really mine. Now she's haunting my every waking moment. My dreams too.

I don't even know what is real anymore.

I've lost my mind. I'm completely and utterly insane.

Insanity. It's such an easy thing. So simple. So pure. There's no confusion. Not really. Everything's right there, laid out for you to understand.

And there she is. Acting like everything is going to be okay.

I'll show her okay…

* * *

I should have known. Never turn your back on the enemy. Never close your eyes, not even for a second. But Rick, he wasn't supposed to be an enemy.

I felt the sheering pain of the bullet before I registered it. The pain shot down my arm, filled my head with fire. I wanted to scream, but I was too tired to. Too tired of fighting my own battles, and everyone else's too.

Instead, I sat down. I sat down hard. A red haze filled my vision, leaving me feeling breathless and weak.

The scream wasn't my own. It was Rick's. I hadn't realized that I fought back. That my knife had even been in my hand. Or that it was now imbedded deeply into Rick's shoulder.

I tried to stand, but pain shot through my entire body at the very attempt. I vaguely registered Carl screaming for help, but it didn't fully click in my mind. Instead, I welcomed the blanket of darkness as it came.

* * *

"She should be awake by now, shouldn't she?" I asked. I was tired. Too tired to be dealing with this. But she risked her life to help Rick. She didn't even care that he was too insane to realize it was her. Shit, he tried to take my head off. She shouldn't have tried to play super hero. She's a mother for god's sake.

"She exhausted, Daryl. Physically and mentally. If she wakes up any time tonight, I'll be surprised," Hershel said softly. "I've gotten the bleeding under control, but she's lost a lot of blood."

"But she'll be okay?" I asked. Her kids need her.

"She should recover, yes," he said. He hobbled out of the room to do whatever it is he does. Probably off to tend to Rick.

"How's she doing?" a soft, concerned voice asked. I looked up to see Carol standing in the doorway.

"No change," I said softly. Carol came and sat next to me, placing a hand on my arm.

"She's going to wake up, you know that right?" she said softly.

"She might not."

"She will. She's strong. She's going to be fine," she said with a tight smile. "What about you? How are you holding up?"

"I keep seeing Merle," I said honestly. I don't know what it was about that woman, but she could get me to spill my guts without even trying. "I feel like I'm going nuts."

"You're not nuts, Daryl," she said softly. "It's normal."

"It's normal to see my dead brother?" I asked skeptically.

"No, but it's not insane either," she said gently. I turned away from her, pondering her words.

"This whole mess is insane. Rick shot her," I said softly. "He shot her for no reason. And she let him. She didn't even think to be careful."

"She's been through a lot, Daryl. She's trying to raise her two kids on her own, and just lost her husband. She's worn herself thin," she offered. "And Rick, well Rick's been through hell and back."

"He's putting people at risk," I argued. "Don't get me wrong, he's a good guy, and a good leader, but come on. He almost took my head off."

"He's struggling," Carol agreed. "But he hasn't failed us yet."

She was right. As much as I'd love to blame Rick for Merle's death, it wasn't his fault. None of this was. He was doing the best he could. Trying to keep it together for the sake of the group. Going up against impossible odds for reasons even I wasn't entirely sure of. He's coping as good he could.

"It's just not right," I finally sighed. "What if she doesn't wake up?"

"She will, one way or another, she will," Carol said sadly. "But the bullet didn't hit an artery, and she's stable, so why jump to the worst outcome?"

"That's how my brain works," I sighed.

"Well stop thinking like that," she smiled. A cry broke our moment. It was Lucy. She'd been crying for her mother ever since she saw me carrying her limp body in. The kid was scared of losing her mom too. Couldn't blame her. Shoot, I was scared too.

* * *

A week after Rick shot me; I finally came 'round. Hershel said I was to take it easy for a few more days, but that just wasn't me. I was up and on my feet later that day. Lucy was glued to my hip, her tiny hands gripping at my shirt. My shoulder ached something fierce, but the pain was a welcomed reminder that I was alive. I was alive and healing and was going to be fine.

"Mama, Jake won't talk," Lucy said as I was pacing back and forth outside, watching Mayhem chase after the birds. The damn dog was still chasing after ghosts, but at least now she was safe to take outside.

"Jake's sad, that's all," I said softly. "He'll be okay."

"Dawil is sad too," she said, looking up at me with those doe like eyes. She meant Daryl. But why would he be sad? Daryl was like a rock, he didn't really show emotions.

"Everyone's sad today, huh?" I said. She nodded and gripped at my shoulder. I saw red for a moment, pain flying down my arm.

"Lucy, don't touch," I said through clutched teeth. "That's an owie."

"I kiss it better!" she said brightly, leaning her head towards my wounded shoulder.

"I don't think so, kiddo," a rough voice said. Strong arms pried my daughter from my grip. I smiled at Daryl, who only shock his head.

"Don't you ever take it easy?"

"I'm a mom. Mom's don't get days off," I said with a half shrug. It still hurt too much to move my left arm. Hershel had removed the bullet, but wasn't sure of how extensive the wound was. With it being in such close range, he said it wouldn't surprise him if my arm never fully returned to its former strength. That didn't bother me too much. With Lucy always in my arms, I was used to using only one arm for most tasks.

"You're bleeding again," he said, nodding at my shoulder. Sure enough, blood was seeping between the bandages.

"I told Hershel to stitch it," I sighed, pressing my good hand to the wound. "But he's afraid the infection will set in again."

"What do you think?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I think we're all nuts to even be trying," I laughed sadly. "But I think if this damn thing isn't stitched soon, I'm gonna die of blood loss before it heals."

"That's why I told you to take it easy," a rough, familiar voice chimed. I turned to see Hershel hobbling towards us. "You keep ripping the clot."

"I don't take it easy, Hershel. You should know that," I chuckled. I flinched as pain shot down my arm. "Can't I just stitch it up and call it a day?"

"And get another infection? Definitely not," he said stubbornly.

"Fine, but I'm wrapping it this time," I sighed, whistling for Mayhem. She growled, her teeth bared as she turned to me. She took a step forward, then sat down like a stunned puppy, her ears flat against her skull.

"Mayhem, you're almost as crazy as Rick," I laughed. I walked over to the van and tried to open the door, only to remember that I locked in when Rick went nuts. Had to keep as many guns as possible locked up.

"Who has my keys?" I asked. I couldn't for the life of me remember who I handed them off to.

Daryl walked over and shifted Lucy in his arms. She was nuzzled against his side, her head buried into his shoulder. It was an adorable sight. He handed me the keys and waited as I unlocked the back door. I handed the keys back once I was done. I knew the keys were safest with him. He wouldn't go crazy and shoot the place up. I hoped anyway.

"There should be some painkillers in one of these bins," I muttered, rummaging through them as best I could with one hand.

"There aren't. I gave them to Dad," Jake said. I was surprised to see him up and about. He climbed in and quickly located the makeshift first aid kit. "All we've got left is the suture kit, then rubbing alcohol, the bandages, which we're running low on, and the numbing stuff you used when I needed you to stitch my leg. Other than that, we're out of everything else. I could make a run if you'd like?"

"No, you're gonna stay here. But hand me the numbing stuff. At least that'll keep me from screaming my ass off when I take this bandage off," I said. He handed it over and watched as I filled a syringe with the clear liquid. I bit down on my tongue as I stuck the needle into my shoulder, only a hair away from the actual wound.

The moment the sedative took effect, I breathed a sigh of relief. Carefully, I unwrapped the wound. A curse escaped my lips when I saw the black, dead flesh.

"Hershel?" I called softly. I waited for him to make his way over to us. "Tell me you have steady hands."

"I do, why?" he said, giving me a funny look. I turned so he could see the wound. By the look on his face, I knew it was exactly what he warned me about. The infection was back, and worse than before.

"I'll have to remove the infected flesh," he stated, gently taking my arm in his hand, his other arm stabilizing him on the crutches. "And then we'll have to let the infection drain out. What blood type are you?"

"AB," I said carefully. "But you're not about to even consider draining anyone else. Not with everything that's going on. I've lost a lot of blood before, and never accepted a transfusion, and that was under the best of circumstances."

"Why not?" Hershel asked seriously.

"Because, it's just not something I'm up for. I donated blood all the time way back when, but I never agreed to get any transfused. Even when Lucy was born, despite all the risks and complications. I ended up just fine," I argued. "Anyway, what with this…whatever the hell it is, isn't it more dangerous than ever to even consider?"

"Rick gave blood for Carl just fine," Daryl reminded me. I had been filled in on a lot of the groups' past since joining them.

"Still," I muttered. "Can we get this over with already?" My head hurt from the pain in my arm, and I was getting more and more annoyed.

"The van's cleaner than that prison," Jake snorted. "Might as well, right?"

So it was decided. Hershel climbed into the van, so he could angle my arm easier, and once Daryl laid Lucy down in the front seat, he joined us in the back. Because of where the wound was located and how it had to be drained, Hershel advised that I lean against Daryl, rather than the door, so that I didn't wind up doing more damage than good.

"This is going to hurt, a lot," he said as he rubbed the area down with rubbing alcohol. As soon as the liquid hit the wound, I saw red. I bit back a scream, for my children's sake. My heart pounded in my chest and dizziness took over.

I'd endured a lot of pain in my life, but that damn bullet wound hurt more than anything I'd ever experienced before. As soon as Hershel started cutting away at the rotting flesh, I welcomed the delusions and hallucinations that filled my mind. And I welcomed the darkness even more.

In the darkness, there was no pain. No emotion. Nothing. Simple, pure emptiness.

* * *

_A/n- I've started slowing things down a little, for sake of better story telling. :) I'm trying to work out the kinks in the next few chapters, in hopes of posting them before I leave. :) They're not that great right now, but I'm hoping to get them sorted out soon!_

_As always, comments make my day. :) Keep 'em coming! _


	9. Chapter 8

I woke some time later, shivering violently under a thick, rough blanket. I tried to sit up, but the notion of sitting only made my head spin. Instead, I whistled softly. I was overly aware that I was on a bed – not on the floor where I was used to sleeping. A moment later, Mayhem rushed in, barking loudly. Her barks sent more chills up my spine.

I tried to roll over, but it was useless. The shivers were making it impossible to move.

_Why am I so cold? _I thought. _I can't possibly be this cold. This is Georgia for cripes sake. _

Mayhem's barks turned into vicious, blood thirsty growls. Her fur stood on edge as she leapt onto the bed, her teeth coming right at my throat.

* * *

Her body jerked as she started to convulse again. Hershel said she had to ride them out. That her body would take care of the rest. I wasn't so sure. She looked so sick, so weak. Nothing like the mother I knew and loved.

"Mama, you're gonna be okay, you have to be, for me and Lucy," I said as I took her hand in mine. Her skin was so cold, I almost didn't believe she could possibly be alive. "You're gonna be just fine."

"That's right," a voice came. I looked up to see Maggie standing in the doorway, my baby sister in her arms. "Why don't you go get some fresh air? I can take over from here."

"Find me if she wakes up?" I asked. I looked down at my ma. She'd been sick for two or so weeks now. Spiked a fever a few times, then went back to the ice cold temperature she'd been at for the last 72 hours. We all took turns sitting with her. Me, Hershel, Maggie. Carol and Daryl normally took nights. The only time she'd shown any sign of getting better, was when she muttered my dad's name a few times in the real early days. Now, no one was sure when (if) she'd wake up.

"Of course," Maggie promised. I nodded and called Mayhem. The dog was going senile, but I loved her none the less. At least she wasn't always chasing after my dad now. I don't think she sees him anymore. I hope not, anyway.

I walked outside, Mayhem's leash tightly twisted around my hand. Carl was outside watching the Biters claw at the fence.

"Some new 'uns, huh?" I called. He turned to look at me, before nodding.

"Yeah, don't know where they're coming from, though," he said.

"How'd you do it?" I asked. He gave me a funny look.

"Do what?"

"Put your mama down," I said carefully. My ma told me to never ask him about that, but shoot, why the hell no?

"With a gun," Carl said matter-of-factly. "After Judith was born, she was gonna turn. So I put her down. End of story."

"I'm real sorry," I said softly. I looked out at the field and sighed. "You think my ma's gonna be okay?"

"Probably. Hershel's a good doctor. He's done all he could for her. Only time will tell," he said honestly.

"I couldn't do it," I said with a sigh. "Put her down, I mean. My dad either. I just couldn't do it."

"You won't have to. Your mom's going to be just fine," he said with a nod.

"And if she ain't?"

"Then I'll do it for you, if you need me to," he offered.

"Thanks…"

* * *

"She's improving," he said late one evening, his fingers gingerly pressed against her wrist. "Her pulse is stronger than ever. I have more hope now, than before, that she will recover."

"So she'll wake up?" Jake asked excitedly from his spot on the floor. He refused to sleep away from her, no matter how much Carol scolded him for it.

"Yes," my dad said with a nod. "She'll wake up any day now."

"You're sure?" I asked skeptically. We'd been hearing the same old thing for damn near a month. She'd recover, get worse, and recover again. It was an endless, twisted cycle. It didn't help that Rick was even more dangerous now. We were all scared. As hard as we try to hide it, we were.

"I'm sure, Maggie, she'll wake up," he said with a stern look. "She will, I'm sure of it."

"Good, Lucy misses her," Jake said, pulling his baby sister closer towards him. "We all miss her, right?"

"Right," my dad and me said at the same time. "We all miss her lots."

It was hard seeing her son struggle. He came out of his quietness a few weeks back, but he was still shaken. He still needed his mother. He had been a huge help, even went out on a supply run with Daryl – something no one approved of, but no one could stop. He was determined to pull his weight, wherever he could.

"She needs to wake up," he said softly. "She needs to."

* * *

"_We have to do a c-section, if you wish to save your wife," the doctor said softly, just barely loud enough for me to overhear. "The placenta pulled away from her uterus, both she and the baby are at risk of dying now."_

"_I can't make that decision for her," Lucas said, looking at me. "She's a strong woman, the decision is hers."_

"_She's losing a lot of blood, Lucas, we need to operate," the doctor said sternly._

"_Operate, safe my baby," I said softly. "But no blood."_

"_Kayy, they're going to need to give you blood, you've lost so much already," Lucas said softly, taking my hand in his. "Please." _

"_No. Blood," I said strongly._

I couldn't figure out why I was freezing. It felt like I was buried beneath a foot of snow. I shivered violently, my teeth chattering together.

"Help me," I whispered, my throat raw from screaming. "Help me."

Pain flew up my body. Every hair, every muscle, every inch of my body screamed in pain. My body jerked, my breaths coming in quick, harsh puffs. I couldn't get enough air.

* * *

"Hang in there, mama, fight it," I cried, struggling to keep it together as she jerked. Her fever spiked again, and it terrified me. Glenn stood by the door, a sick look on his face. The decision to have someone stand by at all times was made a few hours before. Hershel wasn't sure she'd come out of it this time.

"Fight, mama, fight like you've never fought before."

"Jacoby, why don't you take the dog out?" Glenn suggested. Mayhem was pawing at the floor, her ears perked.

"No, I'm not leaving her," I said sadly. "Not now, not ever."

Glenn didn't argue. He was good like that. Knew when to shut the fuck up.

Suddenly, her body relaxed. I looked at her chest, waiting to see her take another breath. But she didn't.

"Get Hershel! Now!" I screamed, tears flooding my eyes. I heard a rush of footsteps and felt strong arms rip me away from my mother's side. Daryl stepped up, his hands quickly brushing her hair from her eyes.

* * *

"Don't you give up, you hear?" I grunted, pressing down on her chest, silently begging her heart to start again. "Don't you give up!"

"Daryl," Hershel said carefully. He had already called it. Said she was gone. I wasn't giving up on her that easily.

I continued giving her CPR, regardless of what Hershel said. I blocked out everything else. Carol was crying, her arms wrapped protectively around Jake. Lucy was crying into Maggie's chest.

"You're not dying today, ya hear?" I said between breaths. "Not today."

* * *

"What are you doing, Kayy?" Lucas asked, his hands brushing my cheek. "Why are you here?"

"I've lost the fight, apparently," I sighed, leaning in, my face pressing against his chest.

"You have to go back. They need you, more than I do. Do it for our kids," he said softly. He leaned down, his lips brushing against mine. "You've got to keep fighting. For them, all of them."

"I'm so tired," I whispered. "So very, very tired."

"I know. I know baby, but you can make it, you can! You have to believe you can!" he shouted. "Go! Get!"

The bright, white light faded. I felt a pressure on my chest, felt my lungs screaming for air. I forced myself to suck in a breath. Oh, god, did it feel good.

* * *

I leaned back the second she took a breath on her own. She opened her eyes, and tried to sit up. I placed my arm behind her back, helping her sit up without causing herself more harm than good.

"Mama?" Jake cried, rushing to her side. He looked at her for a long moment before taking her hands in his own. "Ma?"

"Hey, Jakey," she whispered. Tears fell from her eyes as she pulled him in for a tight hug. I stepped back, a smile playing on my face.

"You saved her," Carol said softly. "You brought her back to us."

"No, she saved herself," I said stubbornly.

We watched as life filled Kayy's face as she embraced her son for the first time in nearly a month.

* * *

"You're shoulder's almost completely healed," Hershel said two weeks later as I walked Mayhem outside for the first time since coming out of the feverish haze.

"Good. I'm dying to get back into my usual routine," I smiled. I unclipped Mayhem's leash and set her free. As usual, she started chasing after something only she could see. "How's Rick?" I asked.

"Remorseful," he said honestly. "But still not fully there. He's been down in the basement for the last few weeks, as you know."

"Yeah. Maybe I'll go check on him later," I said softly.

"Really?" Hershel sounded surprised.

"He didn't mean to shoot me," I pointed out. "And I survived, so no harm, no foul."

"You're too nice, you know that?" Hershel said. His eyes glowed like a proud father. It made me remember my own dad a lot.

"I get that a lot," I laughed.

"It's true though. You've been through so much, yet you're still kind," he pushed.

"It comes with the territory. I'm a widow, and a mother. It's my job to stay nice," I smiled.

"If more people were like you, there would be no war," he sighed thoughtfully.

"There's no war, Hershel. Not man against man, anyway," I shrugged. "I met a lot of kind folks while we were on the road. None of kind as your lot, but a lot of good people. Trust is the issue now a days, not kindness. No one trusts anyone anymore."

"True," Hershel said. He looked into the distance, deep in thought.

"Mama! Mama!" Lucy shouted, running towards me as fast as her little legs would carry her. She'd grown in the last few weeks, and it melted my heart to see how active she was now. "Jake taught me how to tie my shoes!"

"He did, did he?" I laughed, scooping her up in my arms. It was still difficult for me to use my left arm, but I was managing. Lucy nodded proudly, her eyes shining with pleasure.

"Can we go for a walk?" she asked eagerly.

"Darlin' we've walked all over this place," I laughed. "There's nowhere left to explore."

"I wanna see the basement!" her innocent voice chimed. "Pweese?"

"Maybe," I said with a smile. "Depends on whether or not Rick has a gun," I added, looking at Hershel who shook his head.

"No guns. Only a knife."

"He doesn't have the aim Daryl has, so a knife doesn't scare me," I sighed thoughtfully. "After Mayhem's done chasing fairies, we'll go down to the basement, okay?" I told Lucy, who nodded happily.

"Can Daryl come?" she asked brightly. I was surprised at how clearly she said his name now.

"I dunno," I said skeptically. "Why not go ask him?"

"Okay!" she exclaimed with delight. "Carol too?"

"Now, Lucy, we don't want to turn it into a big group adventure now, do we?" I laughed.

"Okay," she giggled, dashing off to find Daryl.

"She got attached to the two of them when you were under," Hershel said with a smile. "Jake too."

"I'm not surprised Lucy did, but Jake's attitude has surprised me since I woke up. I can't believe the 360," I beamed. "He's grown up a lot, huh?"

"Some kids grow bitter when they're faced with great loss. Your son took it in stride," he nodded. "He promised to be the man his father was."

"His father was a good man," I smiled. "If Jake is half the man his father was, then I did something right."

"You're doing everything right," a voice came from behind me. I turned to see Jake, carrying Lucy, with Daryl following behind them. "You're doing everything just right," Jake said, a huge smile on his face.

"Oh, stop, you're gonna make me cry," I smiled, tears in my eyes. Right before the moment could get any sappier, Mayhem bounded towards us, something in her mouth.

"Mayhem! Drop it!" I yelped. She had a rotten hand in her mouth. Literally. She growled and laid down, chewing on the rotten flesh happily.

"No, no, no!" I scolded as I yanked the piece of rotting flesh from her mouth. She whined and tried to get it from me before Jake could get his hand on her collar.

"She's out of food, that's why," he explained, clipping her leash to her collar. "I couldn't find any when we made the run."

"Did you try the gas station a few miles out?" I asked, chucking the hunk of flesh towards the fence.

"No, we stayed close," he explained. "Why?"

"Because, I need to get something from the gas station before it's over ran," I explained. "Remember when we left your dad a note there?"

"Yeah?"

"I also left a bag of supplies under the floorboards. Guns, ammo, medicine, the works. Luke didn't have any bags with him when he…well you know. So either he didn't get the bag from under the floorboards, or he dropped them before he reached the fence. Either way, it's not gonna hurt to check. Besides, there's a lot of baby supplies and whatever left. Guess most folks didn't make it far enough with their young'uns to need them," I explained. "Hershel, when are ya clearing me to start pulling my weight?"

"If you take the van, and bring someone with you, you'll be good to go end of the week," he said slowly. "If you feel up to it."

I looked over at Mayhem who was whining softly. I hadn't even thought about dog food, not since reaching the prison. I thought for sure the two big bags we had would last a lot longer.

"If we move the water jugs and plastic bins out of the van, I can pull down the ramp and get Daryl's bike in it. Worst comes worst, we'd have a quick getaway," I pondered.

"We can't afford to lose the van," Jake pointed out. "The station wasn't too bad when we were there last."

"True, but see those Biters down there?" I pointed at the ones closest to the fence. "They're new. They weren't here the night Rick shot me. That shot brought a whole bunch down this way."

"We could reinforce the van again, like we did when we passed through Maryland and Virginia," he said thoughtfully. "If you put chains on the tires again, and used wood to secure the back windows and doors…"

"I lost the last of the chains in the Carolinas, remember? When we hit the road block? Plus, the Governor took our planks," I sighed. "Though I wouldn't mind looting the damn town, that's for sure. I could use some of their fancy smancy science stuff," I grumbled.

"What about spikes?" Jake asked, looking around. He pointed at the far tower. "If you could saw down the rods, you could turn them into spikes. Secure the spikes to the sides of the van, and you could move around without Biters clinging to it."

"They'd get stuck," Daryl pointed out quickly. "Then you'd have to deal with a shitload of 'em stuck to the van."

"Jake's onto something," I said, sitting down on the grass. "Give me a minute to think."

"Bars!" Lucy giggles, pointing at the bars on the windows. "Bars!"

"Lucy you little genius you!" I laughed. "We could bar off the windows. Even rig up a make shift kennel of sorts. Make it safe to get in and out, without 'em being able to get right up on us!"

"You got power tools in that van of yours?" Daryl asked.

"A hand saw and a battery operated saw, plus a wielder," I said with a nod. Hershel looked at me with wide eyes. "What? My husband didn't lock all his toys in the shed like he should have!"

"We used 'em in Virginia, right?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, 'bout the same time I cut up the chains to put on the tires. We'd have to do a lot by hand, but the batteries have some juice left in them," I nodded. "How's the van on gas?"

"Running on fumes," Jake said honestly. "That was why we took the motorcycle when we went out last."

"There's a few gallons of gas stashed a mile or so out. Merle said he'd leave 'em there for us when I saw him last," I said thoughtfully. "Said he had them hidden in one of the cabins out in the woods a way."

"He stashed gas for you?" Daryl asked, his eyes widening.

"Told you, Merle wasn't a bad man," I shrugged. "Who wants to make _that_ run with me?"

The cabin Merle was talking about was in the middle of the woods. Even Daryl's bike couldn't get to it easily. That was what made it such a good hiding place. It was damn near impossible to get to if you weren't on foot. And the neighboring woods were crawling with Biters. Even if we made it to the cabin, there was no guarantee we'd get back to whatever vehicle we chose to bring in one piece.

"Not you," I said to Jake the moment he opened his mouth to agree to come. "I need you here. And I'm going to need you when we go to the station to get the dog food. You're faster than I am at picking locks."

"We locked the door, didn't we?" he groaned.

"Had to. Didn't need Biters walking right up in. Besides, it's one of the old padlocks from the van, it's easy to pick," I smiled.

"I'll go," a voice came. We all turned, surprised at who had finally decided to join us. "I owe you that much."

* * *

_A/n- Oh! The feelings that were poured into this one! c; Couldn't have Kayy stuck in bed for the rest of her life, huh? :) Expect some new twists in the coming chapters - I might even change POV for one of the ones I've already written. Give everyone a different perspective for a while. _

_As always, let me know what you think!_


	10. Chapter 9

"Rick, maybe you should sit this one out," Hershel recommended gently.

"No, let him come," I jumped in before Rick could change his mind. "If we take Daryl's bike, we'll be back for sundown," I added, giving Daryl the most innocent look I could muster. "It's smaller and easier to maneuver. Plus, it would get us as close as possible to the cabin."

"You expect me to let you and Rick take my bike?" he asked with wide eyes. I smiled as sweetly as possible, nodding quickly.

"I'll leave you my guns. If we crash your bike, you get all my guns and ammo," I offered.

"No way," he chuckled. "You can take the bike, just _please_, don't crash it," he added.

"I won't. Rick, are you sane enough to _not_ stab me in the face or something?" I asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. I smiled and looked at Jake.

"Go get my Winchester Bowie and my Colt," I told him. "The Python, not the other one," I added.

"You don't want the Glock?" he asked skeptically. "You always bring the Glock."

"Can't afford to lose the Glock, kiddo. We've got too much ammo to let it go to waste. 'Sides, I like the Colt. Probably won't use it anyway, I'd rather use the Bowie. No noise," I shrugged.

"More mess," Jake laughed as he rushed off to find my weapons.

"Bring Mayhem's longer leash too, would ya?" I called after him.

"The 50 foot one?" he asked when he stopped to face me again.

"Yeah, that one," I replied. He nodded and continued on his way to gather what I asked for.

"You're bringing the dog with you?" Daryl asked skeptically.

"Mhm. She's run alongside motorcycles before. Before she nearly got hit by one, but still. I need the extra set of eyes," I shrugged.

"Whatever you say," he sighed. He handed me the keys, before pulling me towards him. "Don't let Rick do anything stupid, ya hear?"

"Sir yes sir," I chided. "I'll keep him under control, don't worry."

"Good," he said with a shake of his head. "You sure you're up for this?"

"Someone's gotta make this run, and I'm the only one who knows exactly where Merle left the gas, so yeah," I shrugged. "Worst comes worst, you'll be able to find your bike. I'm going to park it behind a thick patch of bushes, about half a mile west, between the two big oaks. If we're not back in three hours, go get it and don't come after us, okay?" I said seriously.

"Three hours gonna be enough?"

"If it ain't, we're dead anyway," I nodded. "Mayhem'll come if you whistle for her. Just give her a minute or two to find you, and take her with you, if we don't make it back, okay?"

"Yeah," he said. For the first time since meeting him, I saw genuine fear in his eyes. "Take care of my kids, okay?"

"Yeah," he said again, his tone grim. Jake came running back with everything I asked for, along with our old, tattered map.

"Draw a circle around where you're going," he demanded. I smiled and took the marker from his hand.

"See the oaks we have marked? Right there?" I pointed at the little red dots that had long since faded from the map. He nodded. "We're heading north from there, about half a mile, maybe more. There's a cabin tucked nice and deep in the woods, between a few dozen maples. You can't see the cabin from the path, but if I'm not mistaken, Merle said he tied a piece of cloth around one of the branches. If he didn't, I will. Look for it and head straight into the bushes. The cabin will look like it's been burn to the ground, because it originally was, but deep in the back, there's a room that wasn't damaged. That's where the gas is, tucked under the floorboards. Like I told Daryl, 3 hours. Any longer, and we're probably not coming back. Are you up for this?" I asked him. He knew exactly what I meant.

"If you don't make it back, I'm to do whatever these guys say, for as long as they'll let us stay. Then, once Lucy's old enough to carry her own, we'll head South, hopefully reach Florida, right?" he asked. I saw the pained look in his eyes, and almost called the whole thing off. My instincts told me otherwise.

"It won't come to that, but should it, then yes," I nodded. "But not Florida. I've got a feeling there's nothing there. Head West. Get to the coast, and let nature run its course, okay?"

"Yes ma'am," he nodded. "Be safe?"

"You too, I love you, and your sister, so, so much," I said before pulling him in for a tight hug.

"Three hours, not a minute more," I called over my shoulder after I swung my small backpack onto my back. "Mayhem, heel," I added. She came to my side and sat down obediently. It wasn't like I planned on going superfast. I wasn't a fan of motorcycles, though I'd ridden them countless times. Daryl's bike looked steady enough, and worst case scenario, I could drop the lead and tell Mayhem to follow. She might have been crazy, but she was still loyal.

"Rick, you're going to have to fend off any Biters that get too close, okay?" I said as I kicked the bike to life.

"You're driving?" he asked, surprised.

"I know where I'm going. Besides, you're taller. You can keep me from crashing the bike, while keeping us safe," I admitted. "Otherwise, we'd be done before we even got out of sight."

"Fair enough," he agreed.

And so it was.

* * *

The ride was easy. I was used to the task of swerving around the Biters, and Rick did his job with speed and precision. The hardest part was keeping Mayhem's lead wrapped around my hands. Though she was used to free-roam, she was also trained to recall perfectly and knew when to pick up pace or slow down.

When we reached the spot, I killed the engine and took a deep breath. There weren't many Biters around, and deep in my heart, I knew we'd be okay. I pushed the bike behind the bushes and carefully covered it with downed leaves and branches.

"What if we need a quick get away?" Rick asked, his eyes widening. I saw child-like fear on his face, and that bothered me.

"We'd run. Honestly, I'd rather get Daryl's bike back in one piece. I owe him that much," I shrugged. "We'll be fine, c'mon." Mayhem was now clipped to my belt, her short leash hanging loosely.

"How far from here?" Rick asked, looking around nervously.

"A ways," I said uncertainly. Merle hadn't described the place well. I should have known better than to trust his word. "I wish I had the damn map," I muttered. I looked around carefully, trying to find the path. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw what could have been a path, many, many months ago.

"This way…I think," I said carefully, giving Mayhem's leash a light tug. She followed us eagerly, her tail wagging back and forth. The long run had done her good. She was more eager to please now.

"You think?" Rick asked, following so close, I could almost feel him breathing down my neck.

"Merle's directions were confusing. And I don't have a map. Or a compass," I shrugged. "I'll get us there. C'mon, we're burning daylight."

We made quick work of the path, and as soon as we were deep into the forest, I saw the piece of cloth. It brought back memories. I walked over to it and touched its thinned, tattered material.

"What is it?" Rick asked, coming up to see what had caught my attention.

"It's a piece of the bandana Merle tied around my head when he found me and the kids. He was worried I was going to wind up with an infection, even though it was a super tiny cut," I said softly. "I gave it back to him the day we made a run for it."

"How do you know?" Rick said, nodding at the fine, thin cloth.

"Because, I'd remember the bandana anywhere. Daryl has the same one," I said softly. "It was the first thing that caught my eye when I realized who he was."

"So, where's the cabin?"

"This way," I said, pushing the bushes aside. Several yards away, as expected, tucked nicely behind the thick, overgrown forest, sat the remains of what once was a beautiful cabin. I hurriedly made for the back of it, careful not to trip over the charred rubble.

"To your right!" Rick hissed. I turned and slammed my Bowie knife into the Biter's skull. He was thin, clearly one of the first to turn. I pushed him away and looked around. There were no more. I knelt down and quickly dug my knife between the floorboards. I knew if Merle had any brain, he'd have hidden them well, but not to the point I couldn't find them. Sure enough, after several minutes of searching, I found the right boards and quickly moved them aside. Beneath them were 4 tanks of gas.

"Can we carry them?" Rick asked skeptically.

"Sure," I nodded. "I came prepared." I pulled another bag from my backpack and piled the tanks of gas inside. They fit with ease.

"Sling them on your back," I ordered. "And let's get out of here. See those clouds? A storm's rolling in. The last thing I need is to get caught in the rain."

"How do you expect me to carry them?" Rick asked.

"On your back?" I was confused by his question.

"I'm not going back."

"Excuse me?" I looked at him as if he were insane.

"I'm not going back."

"Rick, let's not do this, not here," I begged. Mayhem growled softly, her eyes locked on something I couldn't see. "Please, let's go!"

"No."

"Rick!" I was getting annoyed. Deep down, I wished I'd convinced someone else to come with me. Shoot, Lucy would have been more a help than Rick was being.

"I can't. And neither can you." He said.

* * *

"It's been nearly three hours," Jake sighed, still pacing back and forth as he had since Rick and Kayy pulled out of sight. "Now what?"

"I'm giving them another hour," I said with a sigh. There was no point panicking. Not yet, anyway.

"She said three hours," Jake snapped. "Not a minute more!"

"Rick might've had another episode. Or she might have. Or they might have gotten lost," Glenn said calmly. "There's no point freaking out just yet."

"It hasn't been three hours yet," Carol chimed in. "Let's wait a little longer."

"There's a storm coming," I noted, pointing at the sky.

"Another reason someone needs to go find them!" Jake shouted. He was worried. That was understandable. But for some weird reason, I had a feeling that Kayy knew what she was doing.

* * *

"Rick, come on, we've stopped at least 50 times!" I practically screamed. Every few feet Rick would start freaking out, causing me to stop the bike, kill the engine, reel Mayhem in, and wait for him to calm back down. It didn't help that I was carrying 15 gallons of gas on my back since he refused to touch the bag.

"No," he hissed, looking at some invisible _thing_.

"Rick, I swear to god, I'll leave you right here!" I growled. I was tired and sore and just wanted to be back at the prison so I could let my guard down for half a second. Mayhem was growing more and more tired and the constant stop-go, stop-go wasn't helping matters any.

"Leave me to die? You couldn't."

"I can and will!" I threatened, even though I knew I couldn't. I wasn't like that. No matter how much he pissed me off, O wasn't going to leave him behind.

I kicked the engine back to life, released my grip on Mayhem's leash and pulled away from the tree, once more praying we were getting close.

Mayhem started backing as soon as we cleared the trees. For the millionth time, I remembered why I loved that dog so much. She ran away from the motorcycle now that she wasn't tied down and drew the nearby Biters in her direction, making a clear path for us. Except Rick had other ideas. He grabbed my shoulders hard, causing me to lose my grip on the brake. Naturally, I had to throw my weight, just to get control of the bike again, but not without Rick falling off. _What a fucking idiot._ I thought. I killed the engine for the millionth time, and waited for him to collect himself.

"Go!" Rick roared. Suddenly, I saw why he nearly got us killed. To the left was a pack of Biters, attracted to the noise of the bike.

"Fuck that, get on!" I shouted, pulling him to his feet. "Ready?" I asked, kicking the engine back to life for the last time. "Hold on!" I released the brake and hit the gas. We sped off, kicking up a cloud of dust in the process. Rick was hanging on for dear life. I couldn't help but feel a rush of freedom at the speed.

"Open the gate!" I screamed over the loud roar of the engine as soon as we neared the fence. "Now!"

Thankfully everyone had been watching. Rick and Glenn both opened the gate in record speed. We cleared it in a second's time, Mayhem right behind. She collapsed in a tired heap as soon as she reached the dusty path, panting heavily. I killed the engine and shook the dust from my hair.

"Stop choking me," I groaned, prying Rick's fingers from my collarbone. He slid off the bike, his eyes wide.

I remained where I was for a moment, my heart racing, my eyes watering from the dust. I took an extra moment to be sure I could stand before getting off the bike, my legs shaking something fierce. A second later, Jake slammed into me, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"You said three hours!" he cried.

"Yeah well, I didn't anticipate 50 million melt downs," I sighed. "I'm okay, I'm back," I said softly, wrapping my arms around him. Daryl came over and took the bag off my back, his eyes widening when he realized how heavy in was.

"Why didn't Rick carry it?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"I was lucky to get him to agree to come back," I sighed. "If it wasn't for Mayhem, we'd still be bickering out there."

"That bad?" he asked, his eyes dimming.

"That bad." I said tiredly. I pushed Jake away and looked at him, forcing a smile.

"The storms only a few miles out, why don't you go get Lucy all tucked in in that cell, and read to her until I come say goodnight?" I asked.

"It's still early ma," he grumbled.

"Jacoby, please?" I said softly. He sighed and nodded, dragging Mayhem along with him. "Oh, and Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Give Mayhem some of that…um, whatever it was you drug in with you last night. It's starting to stink," I smiled. Whatever he shot, was definitely not worth our time cooking, but it's do fine for my poor dog.

"It was a cat, I think," he said truthfully. "Scrawny little thing."

"I'm not eating cat. Go feed our dog, okay?"

"Okay," his smiled reminded me so much of his father's, it broke my heart.

"You good?" Daryl asked, giving me a funny look.

"Just exhausted. What should have been an easy run turned into a nightmare," I fought back a yawn. "And with that storm rolling in, it's just gonna get worse."

"Worried about a little rain?" Daryl teased.

"No. I'm worried about flooding," I explained. "Think about it. All those dead, rotten hunks of meat walking around, it gets wet enough, it'll run into the yard. Then into our drinking water. Even though we boil it, it still isn't healthy," I continued. "And, with enough rain, the lower levels of the prison are sure to flood."

"What makes you say that?" he asked, completely amazed by how much thought I'd put into it.

"The back wall's down, right? Well I noticed it when me and Lucy were exploring. There's a bit of a tilt. The water's going to drain right into the prison," I sighed. "It shouldn't be bad, but man, what I'd give for a few bags of sand."

"This is Georgia, remember," Daryl chuckled.

"It's gonna pour, trust me, I've seen this before," I argued.

"Whatever you say," he laughed, walking off to put the tanks of gas in the van.

I muttered to myself as I grabbed my bag from the ground and carried it inside, my head pounding from the long day. The damp, coolness of the prison was oddly comforting. I settled against the far wall, welcoming a few moments of silence, numbing myself from what was really bothering me. Something Rick had said during one of his episodes made me really, really think. And that wasn't a good thing at a time like this.

A sudden cry made me jerk from my almost sleep-like daze. I was on my feet a second later, my heart racing in my chest.

"Mama?" Jake called, dragging Lucy after him. I wrapped my arms around them protectively, my knife already in my hands.

"Is everyone accounted for?" Rick called out. I was both angry and thrilled that he was back to his dictator like self.

"I've got Lucy and Jake, and Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Hershel, and Carol are in here!" I called loudly.

"I've got Carl over here," Rick called back.

"I've got Judith," Carol called. I'd forgotten about the infant.

"We're here," Andrea's voice chimed. I pulled a flashlight from my bag, shining it around the room. Sure enough, everyone except Daryl was accounted for.

"Daryl?" Rick called loudly. There was no response.

"Jake, take Lucy and stay with Carol, you hear?" I said sternly. He nodded and ran across the room, Lucy in tow. I nodded to the group before pulling my gun out, my hands tightly gripping it.

"I'm going with you," Michonne said sternly. I nodded and waited for her to take the lead.

"Rick, keep everyone here," she said as she passed him.

"I'm going with you," he argued.

"No, you're staying here," I said. My tone was harsher than I intended. "We'll find him. In the meantime, keep everyone on guard."

The lights flickered, as if to verify my statement. "There might be trouble."

"Let's go," Michonne demanded, swiftly making for the exit before Rick could argue any further. I followed at her heels, trusting her completely. We might not have known each other well, but there was an unmistakable trust between us. We had each other's backs, regardless of how well we did and didn't know each other.

"I'm coming too," Andrea said, catching up with us quickly. We both nodded. Mayhem followed me, her warm fur pressed tightly against my calf. I knew she'd be a help, even if I didn't want to admit it.

Another cry broke out, this time, more urgent than the last. We all took off, careful not to leave any corner unchecked. _Everything's going to be fine_ I kept chanting in my head. _We've had enough problems for one lifetime._

* * *

_A/n - Another long chapter for you guys. I promise, after the next one, things are going to calm down and be a lot slower. A lot of POV changes too coming up. This chapter was worming around in my brain for a while now, and finally, I was able to bring it to life! Hope you're all having a good weekend! _


	11. Chapter 10

"Which way?" Michonne asked once we hit a corridor that broke off into two directions. I looked at Mayhem, who had her nose to the ground, trying to pick up his scent through all the blood, dirt, and stench.

I suddenly remembered the bolt I kept in my boot ever since Daryl shot Lucas in the head. I pulled it loose and held it to Mayhem's nose. Even though it probably didn't smell a thing like Daryl anymore, I'd hoped that it still had a small trace of his scent lingering. To my surprise, it must have, because Mayhem whined softly, sniffed the air, and picked the tunnel to the right.

"Mayhem, stay close," I called softly. She immediately held her spot, waiting for us to catch up. I kept her in place while I listened, I heard the low moaning at the same time Mayhem did. Her ears perked, her nose twitching as she sniffed the air. The whine that came from her signaled that we may be on the right path. I listened harder, trying to make out the faint sounds coming down the long, dark corridor. I could hear moans that sounded anything but human, which made my blood run cold. I didn't mind facing Biters outside, where a getaway wasn't impossible. Inside was a different story, inside, one wrong turn and you could be cornered, your back against a wall.

"Shit," I muttered, thinking hard. Michonne had heard them too, her hearing just as keen as mine.

"Plan?" she asked, her tone emotionless.

"If Daryl's down there, there's not much of a chance…" my voice cracked. The thought of losing the closest thing I had to a friend, was unbearable. "On the other hand…"

"Listen," Andrea said, cutting us both off. Her eyes sparkled in the dim light as she listened as hard as she could.

I tilted my head, trying to capture every sound. A strangely familiar whistle hit my ears. I blinked, surprised, at the same time Mayhem's tale tucked between her legs, her ears forward, her tongue lolling to one side like it had the first time she met Merle.

"There's no way," Michonne said, her dark eyes wide. "He's dead, ain't he?"

"Last I heard," Andrea said, her voice shaking.

"Stay here," I said, my mind finally made up. I took hold of Mayhem's leash in one hand, my Bowie knife in the other. I kept the flashlight forward, just enough so I could see in front of me. Mayhem walked alongside, her tail still tucked. An excited yip echoed against the empty corridor every now and then.

At the end of the seemingly endless tunnel, I saw what looked like a figure against the wall. I could hear the Biters stumbling along the corridor to my right. I took a deep breath, my heart pounding, as I approached the figure. As soon as I saw the red bandana, I knew.

"Michonne, Andrea!" I hissed as loudly as I dared. My voice echoed against the walls, followed by their hurried footsteps.

"What?" Andrea asked. I was blocking their few.

"Go get Glenn and tell Hershel to be ready," I said softly. My heart was racing faster than I thought possible. "But don't panic anyone, okay?" I added. "Michonne, I'm gonna trust you with my life, don't let me down, okay?"

"Sure," she said with a single nod. Andrea turned tail and headed back the way she came, not needing any further explanation.

I kneeled down next to Daryl, my fingers gingerly searching for a pulse. His skin was icy cold. As soon as I felt a beat, I breathed a sigh of relief. His arm was bleeding badly from a wound I couldn't see, and from the coolness of his skin, I could tell he lost a lot of blood. Michonne shined the light at us, and immediately confirmed my fears.

"Was he bit?" she asked in a hushed tone.

I picked up my flashlight and carefully searched for the source of the blood. I saw the cut and shuddered. It was deep. Very, very deep. But it looked too straight to have been a bite. Too long, too deep.

"I don't think so," I hissed.

"That ain't good enough," she growled. She knelt beside me and looked at the wound. "No, it doesn't look like a bite."

"Exactly, but if I'm hearing things right, there's a pack comin' this way. I'm gonna try to get him on his feet, do you think you can hold them off?" I asked, looking her dead in the eyes.

"I'll do my best," she nodded. It surprised me. Michonne didn't ever strike me as the type to put her life in danger to save someone else. "I'll give you a 3 minutes head start, it's all I can offer."

"That's enough," I said softly. I handed her my flashlight, before dropping Mayhem's leash. "Take the dog with you. She'll chase them off if she can."

I grabbed hold of Daryl's uninjured arm and carefully draped him over my body as best I could. He was a lot heavier than I'd hoped, and as soon as I had him upright, I knew getting anywhere was going to be damn near impossible. I took a shaky step, my back protesting against the added weight.

"Luck," I said to Michonne as she darted off. I made it only a yard or two before my legs gave way. In an attempt to keep Daryl from slamming to the ground, I ended up winded and completely pinned against the wall. "Damnit Daryl," I muttered, pushing him off me. His was completely dead to the world. Okay, bad choice of words.

"Michonne? Kayy?" Glenn's voice echoed. I let out a sigh of relief and scratched my nails against the wall, giving him something to follow, while I struggled to catch my breath. As soon as Glenn reached me, his expression changed from that of concern, to that of pure terror.

"Was he..?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"No, no," I said quickly. "I'm not sure what the hell happened, actually."

"C'mon," he said, taking Daryl's good arm and swinging it over his shoulder. I came to Daryl's otherside, pushing my arm behind his back, forming some sort of a sling. We had to drag him most of the way, but it was the best we could do. Daryl was bigger than both of us.

As promised, three minutes later, Michonne rejoined us, her face drenched in blood. None of which her own. I heard the faint echoes of a bark, deep in the tunnels.

"Your dog's leading them outside," she explained. "There are only a handful of them."

"Good," I said with a single nod. I groaned against Daryl's weight when Glenn lost his balance.

"Hang on," I muttered, shifting my weight, so Daryl was against my back, instead of my side.

"You good?" Glenn asked, giving me a funny look.

"Yeah, but he's losing way too much blood. He'll be dead before we even get halfway back to base," I sighed. I thought for a moment, then noticed that Michonne was carrying Mayhem's leash.

"Set him down against the wall," I said after a few moments of thought. Glenn did, breathing heavy from the effort. I took off my shirt and shook the dirt from its fabric. I didn't even think about it. I just folded it up, forming a thick bunch before pressing it against Daryl's arm. I took the leash from Michonne and tied it tightly to the wound, careful not to cut off circulation entirely. I suddenly noticed that none of us had gone back for the crossbow. I moaned and look at the makeshift bandage one more time before standing up again.

"Give me a minute," I sighed as I took off, running full speed in the darkness, my boots thumping loudly against the concrete. I located the crossbow a few feet from where we found Daryl, discarded and covered in blood. At a second glance, I realized that it wasn't Daryl's. It was Biter blood, the stench was overpowering. I picked it up, surprised by how heavy to weapon was. I grabbed the bolts from the floor and slung them over my shoulder before rushing back down the corridor, my pace slowed by the weight of the weapon. I pushed it to Michonne before pulling Daryl back to his feet. Glenn and I linked hands under him, forming a seat of sorts, before kicking his feet forward, one painful step at a time.

"You look like you saw a ghost," Glenn noted breathlessly as we turned a corner.

"I'm worried," I admitted softly. "Something about all this doesn't seem right."

"What do you mean?"

"How often does Daryl get himself this messed up?" I asked seriously. "If he's anything like Merle, he's quick on his feet, steady, and smart. The way we found him…it doesn't make sense."

"You think he was attacked?" Glenn asked skeptically.

"Maybe," I nodded.

We fell silent as we walked up the stairs, one at a time, both straining to keep our grip as we pushed our bodies against Daryl's. It took another long, painful ten minutes before we finally reached the room before our cell block.

"Rick," Michonne called as she ran to the gate. "Hurry."

Everyone quickly made it to our side as soon as they saw us. I heard Carol's sharp gasp and quickly gave her a fake smile.

"He's okay," I lied straight out. "Keep the kids in one of the cells, okay? All of them," I said, giving Carl a stern look. "That includes you."

"Why?" he asked, his face darkening.

"Because I said so, now go."

Carol did as I said, ushering the kids back into the cell they had come out of. As soon as Glenn and I reached the bedroll, we carefully laid Daryl down. My legs gave way the moment the weight was off my side, and I crumbled on the ground, breathless, tired and scared.

"Was he bit?" Hershel demanded, his eyes wide.

"No, it's too clean to be a bite," I said, carefully removing my shirt from his arm. Rick's face turned white at the sight of the wound. "It's really deep," I muttered. "Maggie?"

"Yeah?" she came to my side, her eyes wide as soon as she saw how much blood was pouring out of Daryl's arm.

"There's a bottle of rubbing alcohol in my van. And bandages. Go get them, please? And bring me the bottle of whiskey that's under the back seat," I said softly.

"Why?"

"We're going to need it," I muttered, examining the wound. Hershel was beside me, silently observing.

"You ever work in a hospital?" he asked, amazed by how calmly I was taking everything in.

"Luke was in the army when I first met him. When we got married, we spent a few months on base while he finished his last few months of service. I spent a lot of time in the infirmary," I explained. "I swear, I've seen a wound like this before," I added, trying to remember where.

"Where were you stationed?" he asked, eyes widening.

"Iraq," I said slowly. "And shit!" I added, my heart dropping.

"What?" Hershel moved my hand so he could see what I saw. By the look on his face, he saw it as easily as I did. His brachial artery was severed.

"Tell me someone here is O negative," I shouted. Everyone looked around as if I'd lost my mind.

"I am," a voice came. I looked up to see Maggie running in, her arms filled with everything I'd asked her to bring. "What do you need me to do?" she asked as she threw herself down beside me.

"Hershel, can we do a transfusion here? I mean, would it be safe for Maggie?" I asked, my voice full of both regret and concern for even considering it.

"Yeah, if we're careful," he said after a moment of thought. I nodded and pressed my hand down on Daryl's arm.

"Jacoby!" I called loudly. He came to my side without a moment's hesitation, having heard me first question. "You're gonna have to do me a big favor," I said softly. He nodded. He knew what I was asking.

"Guys, Daryl's lost at least a pint and a half of blood. Maybe more. At this rate, he'll be dead in an hour. Maybe two. He's too weak to be able to survive without blood. I'm going to need two pints. And I'm only taking one from Maggie. If anyone else is 100% sure they are O negative, speak up now. Otherwise, I'm going to have to use Jake," I said loudly, yet my tone was gentle. "I'd much rather take it from an adult, since, naturally, adults can cope without a pint of blood pretty easily."

No one said anything, but I saw a look flash on Rick's face.

"You'd sacrifice your son for Daryl?" he asked, eyes widening.

"No, Jake wouldn't be at any risk at all. He'd feel like dog shit for a day or two, but he'd be fine. If I knew Daryl's blood type, I'd go from there. But I don't," I said softly. "So it's settled?"

"Yeah," he said with a nod. I nodded to Hershel.

"You deal with that, while I repair the artery. Heaven bidding, I'll be able to get it stitched together well enough to stop the worst of the bleeding," I said.

"You sure?" he asked. He saw the pained look on my face. He knew. How, I didn't know, but he knew. "Can you handle this?"

"I have to," I nodded. "Maybe he can be my one in ten," I added with a sad smile. "Glenn, get over here, I'm going to need extra hands. You too Rick," I ordered.

After we all rinsed our hands in alcohol, I slipped on the only pair of rubber gloves I had left, before grabbing the suture kit from the bag Maggie had brought in. My hands shook at first, until I took several deep breaths.

"Rick, I need you to pull the leash as tightly as possible around his arm," I said. "Don't worry about cutting off circulation. That's exactly what I need you to do."

He did as I said, his face as white as snow.

"Glenn, hand me the scalpel." He placed it in my hand without hesitation. I quickly sliced away with destroyed flesh, making a clean, easy to fix line. I stuck my finger into the hole and located the brachial artery without any problems. I pinched it between two fingers, before looking to Beth.

"I need you to set up the needle and thread," I said softly. "I'm going to need about the same length you'd use to sew a button onto a coat." She was shaking like a leaf, too scared to comprehend what I just asked.

"I've got it," a new voice said. Carol joined me, her hands quickly doing what I had just asked. She handed it to me.

"Okay, okay," I said softly, more to myself than anyone else. The last time I did this, the man ended up dying on my table. Now, I was attempting to do it, on a dirty, germ ridden floor. I took another shaky breath before nodding at Glenn. "I need you to pinch the artery, like this, so it doesn't start bleeding again. Softly, but not so soft it leaks," I explained, my voice barely audible. Once his hand was in place, I removed mine and took the needle from Carol. I closed my eyes for a moment, emotion getting the best of me. I felt hot tears stream down my face.

"You can do this," Hershel said softly from behind me. "You can do this."

"For the sake of humanity," I laughed to myself. It was an old joke between me and one of the nurses way back when.

I put my emotions aside and got to work. Ten minutes later, I finally felt like I had done it right.

"Glenn, slowly release your hold," I said cautiously. When he did, I waited for the artery to spring a leak. To my amazement, it didn't.

"How much of the muscle can we save?" I asked Hershel. Maggie was leaning against Beth, her face slightly ashen from giving a pint of blood. Jake was laying down, his head on Beth's lap, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

"Think you can stitch some of it together?" he asked, observing my work.

"Maybe, but it'll take a lot of rehab to get it back to its old working form," I said with a nod. "And even then we're risking muscle death."

"Follow your instincts," he instructed.

And so I did. After another two hours, I finally pieced Daryl's arm together as best I could, with a lot of help from Carol, whose sewing skills proved to be a blessing in disguise. Her calm, careful hands worked wonders where my shaking, clumsy ones could not.

"I'll take care of the transfusion, why don't you get some air?" Hershel suggested once I put the final stitch in Daryl's strong, muscular arms.

"Okay," I agreed immediately. The one thing I needed more than anything was air. I took off the bloodstained gloves and handed them to Carol. "Rinse them as good as you can, I try not to throw them out."

"Okay," she said, a sad smile crossing her lips. Just because his arm was safe for now, didn't mean he'd survive. He'd lost a lot of blood, and his pulse was weaker than I ever thought possible in someone his age. His skin was still ice cold to the touch, and it would be days, weeks even, before we knew if he'd fully recover.

But where there was a will, there was a way. Even as I walked outside, the stormy winds hitting my skin, I knew there was hope. I leaned against the wall of the prison, letting the rain pelt down onto my skin, not even caring that it stung something fierce. In the distance, I heard a familiar bark as Mayhem dashed to my side, blood covering her fur. To my great relief, she was fine, except for a few minor scratches that littered her face and forelegs.

"You did good today," I told her, kneeling down so I could pull her into my arms. "Real good."

"So did you," a voice came from my right. I looked up and saw Rick walking towards me, his face still a shade lighter than normal. "I'm impressed."

"Keep calm now, panic later. It's a golden rule," I said with a sigh. I let myself sink down into the wet, cold ground, Mayhem crawling into my lap, her soaking wet fur oddly comforting. "Do you think he'll make it?"

"You got to him in time. I think he will," Rick said truthfully.

"He'll hate us, you know that? For messing up his arm," I said with another huge sigh.

"He'll get over it," Rick said with a slight smile.

"You think?"

"I know."

He joined me against the wall, using his jacket to shield us from the worst of the wind and rain. It was oddly comforting to be that close with Rick. Not the same safe feeling I got with Daryl or the calm, secure feeling I got with Beth and Carol, but a protected, yet alert feeling. A feeling where I knew I could close my eyes, as long as I was still ready to move at a moment's notice.

In a way, it reminded me of the earlier days of mine and Lucas's marriage. Even though we had been very close, and even though we loved each other more than anything in the world, the 6 months we spent in Iraq had changed me from the innocent, naïve girl I was when he first met me. It made me hard, callused. I came back to the states un-phased by all that had changed. I came home cold, unfeeling. Until the world went to war all over again.

Now I felt everything. Every emotion, every muscle ache, every pain, fear and need. I craved security, even for just one night. I craved promises that could never again be made. I craved laughter and sunshine and long walks along the shore. I craved home.

Even though I knew I could never really go home, I hoped. But as I hoped, I found myself remembering the darkest days of my past. The abuse, the depression, the attempts to end it all. Those memories somehow pushed their way into all my happy, lusting memories, leaving me feeling even more alone.

"You have a story," Rick said suddenly, his eyes glassy as he looked at me.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, curious as to what he meant.

"The way you fought so hard for Daryl today, I saw something in your eyes, but it wasn't love or lust or anything. It wasn't anything I'd seen before. And the scar on your leg, I couldn't help but notice it," he explained, his hand lingering above the deep scar on my right leg.

"We've all got stories, don't we?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, but yours seems like a mystery," he pondered. "Care you enlighten me?"

"Not particularly," I said straight forwardly.

"Please?"

* * *

_A/n- I'm going to try and get one more chapter up before we leave. While we're away, I'll be working on the second half of "The Outbreak" so when I get back, be ready for quite a few chapters! With that said, I hope you've all enjoyed the ride this far!_


	12. Chapter 11

I thought about his request for a few moments, before finally sighing, getting to my feet and pacing back and forth. My heart was racing, as the memories came back way too quickly, all as harsh and violent as the days they first happened. I looked at Rick, who was sitting quietly, watching me with a look of concern.

"My father was a monster of a man," I said finally, my hand falling to the deep, ugly scar on my arm. "He had no remorse, thought of nothing but himself and drugs."

"I thought you lived with your dad?" he asked, rising an eyebrow.

"I lived with my mom and step-dad. My step father was the closest thing to a father I ever really had. I never really thought of my biological father as a father in any sense of the word," I explained. I looked up at the stars, trying to find the will and strength to finally tell someone other than the courts and my immediate family about the horrors behind closed doors.

"_You'll thank me for this one day. Lots of girls daddies do this, so that they can please their husbands when they're older," he said in the same dark, husky voice he used every single time. He grabbed me by my arms and threw me onto the bed, his huge body towering over mine. I was so young, so innocent and terrified. _

"_Don't even think about telling anyone. You'll be sorry if you do. No one will believe you anyway," he reminded me for the millionth time. I looked up at him with sad, blue eyes, my heart racing in my chest as he pulled down his pants, his cock hard and ready. He grabbed my hair and pushed it into my mouth, instructing me to suck as hard as I could. _

_Later, he grabbed my wrists and tossed me back on the bed, for the millionth time, in attempt to penetrate. But I was so young, so tight and small. He didn't succeed. He never did. My pained cries never stopped him from trying. _

"_Get dressed," he grunted after a few more attempts, his body slick with sweat. "Build the fire and go get lost. I need to go back to the city and get my fix," he added, throwing my ripped hoodie and jeans at me. _

_I said nothing, just pulled my clothes back on, ran a brush through my hair, and took a moment to wipe the pained, scared expression off my face. Once I felt confident I could put on a brave face, I opened the rickety trailer door and stepped out onto the screen porch, like I did almost every time we went camping. _

_The cool night air reminded me of everything that was good. _

"Oh my god," Rick gasped, his eyes wide

"Yeah," I sighed before continuing.

_It went on for years. At the campsite, at home, everywhere. Even in the van, covered by the darkest of nights. One night, he was higher than usual, completely irrational and unhearing. I was tired and didn't feel well, after a day of climbing trees, which ultimately resulted in my falling on my ass. My head hurt from the fall, but he wouldn't listen._

"_Stop bitching," he grunted, his breathing rapid and his voice slurred. I pulled back, shaking with exhaustion. That was when he lost it. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me against the stove, my arm keeping me from smashing my face into the metal. I didn't know the pilot was lit until I felt the sheering pain, the sickly smell of burning flesh. I pulled back and screamed at the top of my lungs before bolting from the trailer, my heart racing in my chest, tears streaming down my face._

_I didn't stop until I reached the lake, where I waded in, not even caring that there were leeches or that at night, the water was pitch black and icy cold. The water soothed the pain from my arm, leaving me breathless and scared, chilled to the bone._

_And that was where I made up my mind. That was when I decided that something had to give._

"How old were you?" Rick asked, his face pale. He had listened to my story in silence, only interrupting a small handful of times.

"About 11," I said truthfully. "I told my mother that winter, and by the spring, he was in jail."

"You were brave, you know that?" he said softly, putting an arm around my shoulders. I leaned in, grateful for his warmth, since I was cold, just from the memories.

"I wasn't brave, I was scared. If my mother hadn't believed me, I would have killed him myself," I said with a shake of my head. "But that's done and over with. It has been for the better part of two decades."

"Regardless…" Rick said slowly.

"You asked, I told. There's nothing more to say about it, okay?" I said angrily, pulling away, my heart racing in my chest. I whistled softly and called Mayhem to follow me. She did so with no second thoughts.

I was suddenly exhausted when I finally reached the cell block. My back and arms ached, my head spun, and all I could think about was sleep. I waited the 30 second it took Carl to open the door before walking in, Mayhem close at my side, her loyalty stronger than ever. I slipped to the ground beside Daryl, where Jake was sleeping peacefully, his hand protectively on Daryl's wrist. I smiled at my son's dedication. He was a true fighter, that one.

"He's improving," Carol said as she came to sit beside us. "We had a minor scare when his fever spiked, but it broke a while ago."

"Good," I said tiredly. "If I didn't screw up the stitches, he should be strong enough to wake up in a day or two. But he's going to be pissed when you tell him he can't use his arm for the next six weeks."

"Why am _I_ telling him?" she gasped.

"Because he loves you, and just might listen to you," I shrugged. "If he doesn't, that's his fault." My tone was colder than I intended, but when I saw Carol's expression soften, I realized she knew it wasn't personal.

"You care about him," she noted with a small smile.

"He's a good person to have on your side," I nodded. "And he reminds me of my brother, but that's about it."

"You were pretty dead set on saving him today," she pushed softly.

I thought about what she said for a while. I never really felt this way about any of my patients in the past. I never fought as hard or cared as much. It was different. It wasn't how I normally lived my life.

I couldn't find a way to put into words what was going through my head, so instead, I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Figured it was payback for 'im saving us. And for his brother saving my kids," I said with a shrug, before laying down, pulling Jake towards me. Lucy made her way over to me and cuddled deep into my side, Mayhem protectively laying down next to Daryl, her nose pressed into his neck.

I fell into a restless, dreamless sleep soon after.

* * *

"Fucking dog," a gruff voice grumbled early the next morning. I rolled over, still too tired to fully wake up, when the voice registered. I sat up way too quickly, causing my head to swim for a few moments. When my vision blurred, I saw that Daryl was sitting up, staring at the bandage that covered his arm from shoulder to his elbow. By the look on his face, I knew he was trying to piece two and two together – trying to figure out just what happened.

"Hey dare devil," I said with a yawn. "Swing your good arm over here so I can make sure you're not gonna drop dead on us."

He did as I said, without question, with actually surprises me. I nodded once I felt his pulse, a smile crossing my lips.

"Congratulations on being my first successful brachial artery repair," I said with a small smile.

"You're what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"You were pretty messed up. Try not to move too much for a few more days, okay?" I was too tired to do much more than give the simplest advice ever. "And _please_, no more running around with the damn crossbow until Hershel or I give the all clear, understood?" I was too tired to wait for his response. I was asleep the second my head hit the makeshift pillow.

Sometime later, Jake's soft voice woke me from my sleep. I looked up to see him sitting over me, his eyes wide.

"What's wrong?" I asked. From the lack of sound, I knew everyone else was still sleeping.

"I heard something," he said in a hushed tone. "From outside the cell block." I was on my feet a moment later. I knew the only thing small enough to fit through the bars was Mayhem, and even that was a stretch. She was a fairly big dog, but if she wanted to get out, she could. I couldn't see her in the grey light of morning, but I could hear her paws making steady footfalls as she came over to us.

"Go find Michonne. I think I know what's going on," I said in a whisper. Though we were talking quietly, Daryl overheard my command.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, go back to sleep," I said as sweetly as I could muster. I had been a doctor, not a nurse, and bedside manner wasn't my strong suit. "And don't roll over, Lucy's next to you," I added, catching site of my daughter lying beside him. Jake was back to me in record time, his face ashen from the effort it took him to find Michonne.

"Rick's coming too," he whispered between gasps.

"Go back to sleep, and keep an eye on your sister, okay?" I said calmly.

"But," he started.

"No buts. I need to know you'll stay right here and look after your sister," I said softly.

"Mama…" his voice hitched. I felt my own tears welling in my chest.

"It's going to be okay, I promise, Jacoby," I lied. "Just lie down and go back to sleep."

"No, mama," his eyes filled with tears. I looked away as I pulled him in for a hug. "Do you think this is it?"

"I think all Hell's about to break loose. Now listen to me, if you think it's time to run, run as fast as you can. I'll send Mayhem to you if I think it's a lost cause. Get to the van, and go. I know you're still way too young to drive, but you know how to, and if no one can get out with you, you run as fast you can, you hear me?" I said, but my heart wasn't feeling it. "Try to get Daryl. He's a big help. Or Beth, or Carol, or Maggie. Or Glenn. Just get out of here, okay?"

He nodded against my chest, before looking up at me with tears in his eyes.

"Until the birds sing again," he said softly. It was the same thing his father used to say before going out to fish or hunt. It was a promise to return, as long as it was possible.

"Until the birds sing again."

With that, I turned, my gun in one hand, my son's hand in my other. With one final squeeze, I knelt down and kissed Lucy's head softly, before joining Rick and Michonne in the other room, where we formulated a plan. I hadn't been the only one who had the sickening, gut feeling that today was the day it all came crumbling down. Michonne explained that she told Andrea exactly what to do if something went wrong, and Rick the same with Carl. We all had the same plan in mind when it came to our friends and family. Get out alive. Don't look back. Don't come after us. Just go.

And with one final nod to one another, we spread out, ready to face an almost certain death. We could only hope that it would be a bullet to the head, not the heart.

* * *

_A/n - I promised to get the chapters done, and I did just that! Only 9 more chapters to go, before the brutal finale! But since most were typed on my phone, it's going to take me a little longer than planned to get them all uploaded. I'm just giving a warning now, a lot of blood and guts coming up, along with quite a few POV changes, in order to cover all angles!_

_I'd really love to hear from you guys these last few chapters! I really love the feedback! _

_No more spoilers from now on. ;) So here's to the mystery on what happens next! _


	13. Chapter 12

We didn't say much as we made our ways down to the darkest part of the prison. We knew we probably weren't going to come out of this alive, even though no one said it. Mayhem was antsy, confirming my fears. Someone had let Biters in. It was just a matter of time before we stumbled upon them. But who? Deep in my heart, I knew of only one monster capable of such actions. Philip Blake.

As we walked through the tunnels, I noticed that Mayhem wasn't as alert as usual. Her tail was tucked and her pace was shaky. Under normal circumstances, I'd have summed it up to malnutrition or illness, but this was different. Then I remembered that I didn't see her when I woke up – a fact that was so unlike Mayhem, that it made me stop short. Michonne and Rick did the same, both shooting me a look as to ask _what's up?_ I knelt beside Mayhem, my hands searching for a problem, which I didn't see, until I felt the wet, thick drool coming from her mouth.

"Shit," I muttered, smelling the air. The smells were mixed so badly, that it was almost impossible to detect a difference until I noticed a horrifyingly familiar smell. A smell you only ever really smelled when you were caring for the dying victims in the midst of a battlefield.

"Whatever you do, do not even think about firing a gun," I said in a hushed tone.

"Why not?" Rick asked, surprised.

"He's trying to gas us out," I looked down at Mayhem and saw the full effects of the gas already. "And if he's doing that, he's not taking any prisoners this time."

"New plan?" Michonne suggested.

"Yeah, turn tail. There's no way…"I broke off coughing, tears coming to my eyes. "We're gonna be able to beat this one."

Rick tried to say something, before doubling over, coughing so hard he nearly collapsed.

"Mayhem, go back, go back," I told her, falling to my knees, my chest burning. "Go on!" She looked at me and whined, before letting out several sharp backs. I realized what she meant. We had to move. All of us.

"Rick, come on," I said, taking his hand, dragging him with me, despite the pain in my chest. Michonne grabbed his other arm and did the same. Mayhem pushed forward, her gait all wrong. I couldn't help but wonder how she was even managing to stand. I knew from experience that regardless of the gas used, any and all chemical warfare effected animals before humans. At least all I had seen.

All I could think about was how we were never going to make it. It was too late. Too late.

* * *

"Mayhem's coming," I said as I scooped Lucy up in my arms. My head throbbed from the night before but I didn't care. I had already loaded up what I could carry, and was now waiting for my dog to come back before making my move. Everyone was alert. Rick had told Carl the same thing my mom told me, so the plan was already in motion. We'd pile as many as we could into the van, and Glenn would get the rest in the mini-van. Our only hope was that it was a clear shot to the cars.

"He's not going to be able to walk," I overheard Hershel telling Carol. "He's still much too weak."

"We leave no man behind," I said sternly. It was something my father would have said. I set Lucy down and looked around. "There," I pointed at a thick board. "We'll use that if we have to."

"Ain't no one strapping me to no board," Daryl objected, standing up slowly. I could already tell that simple task drained him of strength. I was about to say something when I saw Mayhem collapse outside the door. I ran to her, slamming the key into the lock, before falling beside her. I examined her, but saw no sign of struggle.

"What is it girl? What's wrong?" I shouted.

"You smell that?" Andrea said, coming to my side. I sniffed, but couldn't pinpoint the smell. It was faint, but enough to know it wasn't natural.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the war," she said sarcastically, her hand on my shoulder. "We need to move."

* * *

I knew the smell. I'd smelled it before, back in Woodbury. They were experimenting. Said it might make a difference someday. I never in a million years thought he meant to spark a war.

It was hard to imagine anyone starting a war in times like these. Times where humanity was so hard to come across. It made me sick to think I ever liked that man. That I slept with him. He was a monster. I only wish I had seen that sooner. Michonne was right.

* * *

"Rick, you…have to move," I struggled to spit as I pulled with what little strength I had left. Michonne was struggling to keep herself upright, her breathing even more labored than my own. I struggled to come up with a decent plan.

"Cover your ears," I finally decided.

"What?" Rick gasped, falling to his knees. I took out my knife and started banging it against the wall. "What are you doing?"

"Calling them," I wheezed.

"Who?"

"The Biters."

* * *

"Come on, keep moving!" I ordered as we half walked, half stumbled out of the prison. Glenn and Andrea were trying to keep Daryl from falling, while Carol carried Judith in one hand, Lucy's small hand tight in her other. Carl and I were leading everyone out, our guns locked and loaded.

Mayhem let out a low whine when we neared the exit. Her ears perked slightly, even though she was just barely hanging on.

"Listen," Daryl wheezed. His face was a scary shade of white, his arm bleeding again. I tried to focus on what he was telling us to listen to. I heard what sounded like metal on metal.

"Ma!" I shouted. I heard the sound again, this time faster, more urgent. "They're close," Carl said. We exchanged a look. Neither one of us wanted to walk into a trap.

"I'll go with you," Maggie said suddenly, coming up beside me. "Carl, you get everyone to the cars."

"But…" Carl looked upset, but at the same time, relieved.

"Do what your daddy told you to do, you hear? We need you out there, not in here," she said sternly.

"Maggie…" Glenn pleaded.

"Go on, get everyone outta here. We'll be fine," she said, kissing him passionately for a moment, before turning to me and nodding.

"C'mon."

We quickly followed the sound. About halfway there, my head started to swim. I slowed my pace, breathing becoming a difficult struggle.

"Ma!" I shouted as loudly as I could.

"Ja…coby?" a faint voice called out.

"Ma!" I ran blindly into the darkness, following the sound of my mother's voice. When I found her, I knew something was terribly, terribly wrong. I knew we were losing this fight.

* * *

_a/n- Extremely short chapter, and for that, I apologize! Haha, I wrote it in the middle of dinner one of the nights we were on vacation, and decided to keep it short. It's opening the door though, so don't you worry. :)_


	14. Chapter 13

Jacoby didn't have a chance to find us. Before he could even round the corner, they were upon us. The thickest herd of Biters I'd seen in my entire life. More than any of the cities we'd passed. It seemed like they poured in from every corridor. Before I knew it, they were within a few feet.

"Get up," I told Rick, but he didn't have the will or strength to move. That left Michonne and I to cover him, and keep each other alive. And God only knew it wouldn't be easy. I took the left, she took the right, and try as we did, we kept getting separated, causing either of us to have to dive back to Rick, just to keep him alive.

"How…long…can…you…go?" She gasped, both from the effects of the gas and the exhaustion brought on by trying to keep the Biters back while trying to keep Rick alive.

"Not much…longer," I said truthfully. I was covered in blood, my heart pounding in my chest, my lungs screaming for air. The only thing keeping me going was knowing that I had two kids waiting for me outside. I could only hope that Mayhem made it back to them.

We kept fighting, until there wasn't much more we could do. Michonne gave me a single nod, before she tore off. It had been the plan. Fight until you can't, then go. No one was to die for anyone else.

Except I couldn't follow that. Having been in the army, and the wife of a solider, it wasn't in my blood to leave a fallen ally behind. I collapsed next to Rick, and prayed to whoever was listening that we wouldn't die. I begged for mercy, in a world where mercy was meaningless.

* * *

"A few more steps, we're almost there," Carol said softly in my ear. I knew she was doing it to keep me goin', but it was pissing me off. I wanted to curse her out, but I just couldn't. I was getting weaker and weaker from the damn blood spilling outta my arm.

I still don't know how that happened. No one told me nothing since I woke up.

"They're dead! They're dead!" a panicked voice made us all stop short. Over my shoulder, I saw Maggie running at us. Naturally, that was when Glenn's stupid ass let me fall to the fucking ground. I sat there staring up at them as Maggie ran into his arms, tears running down her face. Jacoby was walking behind her, his eyes wide, his face as white as snow.

"They ain't dead," he said, his tone emotionless. "I know my ma, and she ain't going down without a fight. Michonne neither. I'll put money on it that they found themselves a nice store closet to hold up in."

"You sure kid?" I asked. I felt a weird feeling welling in my chest. Not your normal feeling neither. Was I actually worried about the damn girl?

"I know my ma," he said again. His knees gave way, and had that dog of theirs not been there, he would have fallen on his face. Instead, he buried his face into her fur, his entire body shaking.

That was how I knew it was really, really bad.

* * *

"Rick, we're gonna die today," I said as I stabbed another Biter in the head right as it tried to take a bite at us. The only thing working for us, was that Michonne had taken out all the ones to the right of us. The corridor was so narrow, only one or two Biters could get through at a time, which worked in my advantage for the most part, but the gas was slowly killing me. Both of us, really.

"Yeah," he said with a slight nod. "Think it was worth it?"

"What…do you mean?" I asked, struggling to breathe.

"Think…we made…a difference?"

"Naw…Not in this world…" I said truthfully. My vision clouded as my breathing became shallower and shallower. I knew there was no hope. None at all.

* * *

I didn't want to go along with the plan in the first place. It was stupid to wage war against each other. They weren't bothering no one, so why'd we have to go after them anyway? I couldn't help but hate him, The Governor, for what he made us all do.

So the moment his back was turned, you bet your ass I took off as fast as I could. I wasn't letting them people die. Not like this.

I didn't know the corridors near as well as I'd like, but I managed. I knew where he had us put the Biters, and I knew how long one could last in the gas before it'd put 'em down. The Biters went down after 30 minutes, a normal human? Probably a few more or less. I had to move fast if I had any hope of finding them.

I kept my light trained on the floor in front of my feet as I made my way through the darkness. Maybe I'd get to them in time. Maybe I could save a life today.

* * *

I could tell by the looks on their faces, that today, God wasn't watching over us. I could tell, that today, hearts would break and tears would fall. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair.

* * *

I heard the sound of shuffling feet before I saw them. The Biters were falling, one at a time, their brains dying from the gases we so eagerly pumped into the prison. It was a bitter sweet moment, because as they fell, I saw them. A man and woman, sitting motionlessly against the wall, their faces sheet white.

"No," I whispered as I rushed forward the moment the last Biter hit the ground. I first checked the man, then the woman. Both had a slight pulse, but I knew it was drawing to the end for them both. The man had blood covering his chest, and once I could keep my hand steady enough, I saw why. His throat was bitten open, blood spewing all over the place. The woman, on the other hand, was not covered in her own blood. Not from what I could see. She was weak, her lips nearly blue, but she was alive. Her glassy eyes looked at me pleadingly. That was when I made up my mind.

I pulled her into my arms and quickly stood up, protectively wrapping my arms so she could not fall. There was no telling how long those two had been down in the tunnels. Minutes? And hour? More? If I couldn't get her outside, and fast, she could die. I was grateful for the needles in my pocket that symbolized life. They would counter activate the gases and save a living person if injected soon enough. Even if it was just minutes before brain death, it could work.

I made quick work of the tunnels, following a trail of blood left by someone else. It was easy enough. There was a light at the end, and I knew we were close. I had to get her out. I had to.

* * *

"There's Michonne," Carl said, pointing out the window of the van. We had all agreed that it was wiser to stay put, since there were no Biters in the yard yet. Though shaken up, Maggie and Jacoby both recovered from the gas quick enough, though neither wanted to talk about whatever horrors they saw.

I opened the van door and rushed to Michonne's side. She fell into my arms, breathing heavily, her skin drenched in blood.

"Andrea…it's bad," she moaned. I'd never seen Michonne weak before. She was the warrior, the dark warrior princess. She would fight to the death if she had to. For her to seem so fragile, it was a first.

"How bad?" I asked, half carrying her to the van. Carl slammed the door behind us, then handed me a bottle of water for Michonne.

"I don't think they're gonna make it," she said truthfully. I shot a look at Daryl, who's expression showed of concern. Hershel had stopped the bleeding in his arm, and though he was still weak, he was alert and focused when we divided up. I was in the van with the kids, him, Carol and now Michonne and the rest were with Hershel in the minivan.

"Let's give them another half hour," Daryl suggested. "Don't wanna speed away 'fore they get a chance to make it out."

"I'm telling you, there's no way they lived through that," Michonne argued, her breathing already steadying. Whatever gas they poured into the prison, even a few seconds of clear air could make all the difference.

We all stared out the window, hoping and praying that they're come out. What happened next, will stay with us until this world finally claims us.

* * *

The second we hit fresh air, I threw myself to the ground, careful not the drop the woman. She was barely breathing, her heart beat so faint and it was nearly undetectable. I reached into my pocket and produced a needle, careful not to lose a single drop; I stabbed it into her wrist, the needle digging deeply into her vein. It would take at least 5 minutes to take effect, I knew that. But would that be too long? Would she die before it could save her? I surely hoped not.

I heard a car door slam, and when I looked up, a gun was trained on my head.

"Hands where I can see them," the kid shouted. He looked maybe 10 or 11. Not much older than that. His hands were steady, despite his shaking legs. "I said hands where I can see them!"

I slowly raised my hands, the empty syringe falling to the ground.

"Who are you?" he shouted.

"Jayson Smith," I said loudly. "I'm not here to hurt you," I decided to add for good measure. It was the truth, afterall.

"There was a man with her, sir, where is he?" A new voice came. An older woman came out, placing a gentle hand on the child's shoulder.

"He…he didn't make it, ma'am," I said politely. "I got to her just in time. If the antidote works, she'll make a full recovery."

"Antidote?" she asked, eyeing me curiously. "Where are you from?"

"Woodbury, ma'am. If you give me just a moment, I can tell you everything. But first, I need to see that she survives. I must," I said softly. That was when I realized why the woman looked familiar. The dog tags that hung from her neck read "PVT SMITH, KAYY" and I knew instantly who she was.

"Oh god, Kayy, tell me he's not dead," I whispered. Of course he was. Otherwise, he'd never have let her end up like this. He never would have let her go on like this. I knew him so much better than that. Even the years overseas couldn't break the kind, protective man he was. Of course, my brother was dead.

"Jay?" a familiar, high pitched voice chimed. I looked up and saw my niece standing beside the boy, and then it all clicked together.

"Lucy…Jacoby," I whispered, looking at my nephew and niece for the first time in almost a year. It seemed so impossible. So utterly and truly impossible.

"Uncle Jay?" Jacoby lowered his gun, his eyes widening, before he ran over to me, his arms clinging to my neck as I pulled him into my arms, tears streaming down my face.

I never in a million years thought I'd ever see them again. When word hit that the lake had been over ran, I thought for sure that they were all dead. I was so sure, I didn't even bother trying to find them.

But my brother was dead. My brother was dead.

* * *

_a/n - Sorry, had to throw another OC into the mix, don't worry, he doesn't last very long. ;) Oops, I did it again, huh? _

_Anyway, here's the 13th chapter. Only 7 more to go before the finale! Well, 6 technically. Unless I end up deciding to drag it out some more. ;) I haven't decided yet. I might. _

_Anywho, as always, love your feedback!_

_~ K_


	15. Chapter 14

When I opened my eyes, I was shocked to see my brother in law standing over me, his face masked with concern. His deep blue eyes glowed against the dim light of the setting sun, his blonde locks glimmering as they swayed in the gentle breeze.

For a whole moment, I forgot where I was. I forgot that we had been on a mission. But then I remembered.

"Rick," I whispered, trying to sit up.

"Easy, Kayy," Jayson said gently, his hand coming around to steady me. "Don't rush it, you're body's still trying to fight the gas."

"How did you…"I didn't have the nerve to ask.

"I was on my way to Ohio when I got cut off by a herd," he said. "I had to go off course, and wound up running into the Governor," he added with a huge sigh. "Monster of a man, that one."

"He did this," I said, my throat dry.

"He hoped if he gassed you out first, no one would fight back," he said with a nod. "He was afraid of the one with the arrows. We all sort of were."

"Should be," I heard Daryl grunt. I turned my head and saw him sitting against the van, his face still paler than normal.

"Who attacked him?" I said harshly.

"One of the younger guys. I don't know his name. I'd only been with them a few weeks. Didn't bother making friends," Jayson said. I believed him.

"So why'd you come back?" I asked, staring deeply into his eyes.

"I'm not a bad person, Kayy, you know that. I went back because I knew someone would be stupid enough to go down to the tunnels and try to find the Governor. I knew that whoever did, was going to need help. Shit, I hoped to God whoever went down got him. Because I couldn't do it. I'm not a killer," he said, his voice cracking. "I didn't even know it was you until I saw little Lucy come running around to Jacoby."

"Where's Rick?" I decided to ask again. I didn't really care why or how Jayson found me. Or why he decided to save me. I just wanted to know.

"He…he didn't…" Jayson's voice broke. Here's the thing about Jayson. He was the biggest sweetheart you'd ever meet. Tough as nails when it came to protecting his family, but a big sweetheart. He couldn't hurt a fly, unlike his brother, my husband, who loved to fish and hunt and when at war, didn't flinch at the thought of killing people. Now Lucas wasn't a murderer in the least, he wasn't cold or hateful, but he wasn't soft either. Jayson, he was soft. Sweet, soft and compassionate. That was why I fell in love with him when we first met. But Lucas, he was the one who stole my heart. He was the one who made me see myself in a whole new light.

"Are you sure?" I asked, my throat tightening with tears.

"Yeah," he said sadly. "The gases were created to cause brain death. Within a half hour, they would literally turn a person's brain to mush."

"Okay," I said with a nod. I was numb. Utterly and completely numb.

"He's not dead," a voice said. I turned to see Jacoby looking at me, his face completely blank. "I know he's not."

* * *

I couldn't explain how I knew, but I did. He wasn't dead. Not dead dead. Not final dead. He was still alive. Not really alive, but alive. Regardless of what my uncle was saying, there was no way Rick was really dead.

"I'm going to go put him down," I said softly as I passed my family. "Carl doesn't need to go through that again." I looked over my shoulder and saw the kid sitting against our van, his baby sister gripped tightly in his arms.

"No, Jacoby," Jayson said. I looked at him once, before putting out my knife.

"I'm not a little kid, Jayson," I said strongly.

"You won't last with the gas," he said softly. Mayhem was at my side, ready as ever to do her part.

"I don't care. It's what my dad would have done."

I walked off, not turning when Glenn and Maggie tried to call me back. I didn't even flinch when Daryl called out, saying he'd skin me alive if I went back into the prison. I didn't care about the risks. I just wanted it to be over. All of it.

In a way, I understood why Philip did it. It was easier to take out everyone. Easier to blame everyone else for what was going on. But that didn't solve the problem. Not really. It only made it worse. The sooner he learned that, the better.

I fell silent as I walked towards the prison, the slight smell of the gases hitting my nose before I was even to the door. I didn't want to do it, but I had to.

* * *

No one tried to stop Carl when he ran after Jacoby a few minutes later. It was almost as if everyone had given up. Like they didn't have the fight they did the morning before. I wasn't surprised. They were all worn pretty thin, having taken shifts keeping watch while the others slept in the cars on sprawled out in the damp, cold grass. What did surprise me, was even Kayy seemed to have lost any hope she might have once held. I never knew her for being the quitting type, yet she looked completely devastated.

"Were you close?" I finally asked after a long lull in the quiet chatter.

"Who? Me and Rick?" she asked, her eyes widening. When I nodded, I saw a smile cross her face. "No. He shot me."

"What?!" I exclaimed.

"He went crazy. Actually, we all sort of did. So he shot me," she said with a sick chuckle. "We're all crazy here."

I didn't know if she was serious or not. Her eyes had the same glimmer I'd seen in the crazy people at the hospital. Or the returning war veterans. My brother had that look at one point. The look of a crazed man. But Kayy was able to break him out of that. She was good for things like that. Being able to make anyone feel better, no matter what had made them upset or angry.

"Someone should go after the boys," she said with a sigh. "I know they're both smart and fast, but seriously, they shouldn't be in there alone."

"Then go with them?" I joked.

"Naw, I like my patch of grass jus' fine. It's finally dry," she said, leaning back, propping herself up on her elbows. "Besides, Jake will only get pissy that I don't trust him to do what's got to be done."

"I take it Jake isn't fond of Rick?" I comment.

"Jake isn't fond of anyone. Except maybe Carl," she said with a shake of her head. "He's grown cold. We all have."

Our conversation dropped there. It was hard to really imagine that the sweet, innocent kids I helped raise were now cold and desensitized. Even little Lucy seemed to be well beyond her years.

* * *

"Mayhem, slow down," I said as I pulled out my flashlight, shining it against the walls. I saw so much blood, it didn't make sense.

"Are you sure you're going the right way?" Carl asked, his voice flat, emotionless.

"I'm sure," I said, following the trail of blood.

Mayhem's pace slowed as we neared the heart of the tunnels. Her legs were caked with blood, her body trembling from the effects of the gases that still lingered in the damp, stale air. I listened for any sound of life, but heard none.

"Look," Carl said, shining his light towards a corner of the corridor. I saw my mother's white gold chain and my father's wedding ring carelessly thrown against the wall. I walked over to them and quickly picked them up, tucking them deep into my pockets.

"We must be close," I said, shining my light around. It was strange. There wasn't even the normal tickle of water. There was absolutely no sound.

"Something feels wrong about this," Carl said, his tone slightly more urgent now. "Something feels off."

"So I'm not the only one noticing it," I muttered, my hand slipping down to take hold of Mayhem's collar. She smelled the air, her fur standing on end. A low growl broke from her chest, signaling what we had been waiting for.

I listened and finally heard the sound of a low, hungry moan.

"Carl, you don't have to be here," I said gently. I didn't need that guilt too.

"I want to be here," he said, his voice soft, showing only the slightest hint of fear.

"Okay," I said with a nod as I shuffled forward, careful to watch every tunnel at the same time.

It took another five minutes to find Rick. When we did, we were stunned at what we saw.

* * *

"It's been too long," I said, looking towards the prison, fear welling in my chest.

"They'll be fine," Glenn said solemnly.

"Why are you so sure?" I asked, turning so I was facing him.

"Because, if what Jayson says about the gas is true, there won't even be a Walker up in there, let alone Rick. I saw what you looked like when he carried you out. You were almost dead. Dead, dead," he said confidently.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I've never heard of a gas that causes brain death before anything else."

"That's because it was never made before," Jayson said as he came over to where we sat, a bundle of wood in his arms. "The Governor was pretty keen on the idea of chemical warfare, and he was dead set on making something that could not only kill people, but Biters too."

"It just doesn't make sense," I sighed.

We listened in silence as Jayson built a fire. We all moved closer, even Daryl, who had improved vastly over the last couple of hours. It wasn't until the sun set against the tree line, that my instincts started taking over.

"It's been far too long…" I said. As if to confirm my fears, a bloodcurdling scream rang against every wall of the prison and prison yard.

This was it. This was how it was all going to end.

* * *

_A/n - So sorry guys! I uploaded this chapter while being half asleep, and never even bothered to check if my breaks went in where they were supposed to. I keep forgetting that MSW doesn't convert over like Open Office did. Sorry!_

_Now all the breaks are where they're supposed to be. Major thanks to LunaraWolf who caught the error! _


	16. Chapter 15

The plan was sloppy, reckless, and beyond insane. But try telling that to Kayy and the rest of them. They didn't care. They weren't going to listen to a word I had to say. Oh? Who cares if there's poisonous gas seeping through the entire prison? Who cares if I only have 3 vials of the antidote left? Sure, in small doses, the gases won't kill you, but god knows none of them are going to only stay in there for 5 minutes. It takes 15 just to reach the tunnels. Longer if the boys strayed farther down.

And Daryl what with his arm like that? They're actually banking on his ability to aim a fucking crossbow? Are you kidding me?

But naturally, I kept quiet. I nodded and "Mhm'ed" where it was called for. Because this wasn't my fight. I played my part. I got Kayy out alive.

* * *

"If we split up, we can cover more ground," Glenn was saying, pointing at a rough map he drew in the dirt. "Kayy, Carol, Michonne, and Daryl take the main entrance, me, Maggie, and Andrea take the back," he went on.

"Wait, if we're taking the main, that leaves only Beth, Hershel, and Jayson to stay here. If things get sketchy, that's not going to be enough," I argued. "Carol's come a long way with her aim, and she's good at keeping a level head when shit goes wrong. If we keep her out here, out of harm's way, we'll have a better chance," I said softly. "Especially if the boys beat us out. They're going to need someone like Carol to keep them from turning into Rick…or worse, Shane."

"She's right," Carol agreed. "I'll stay put, you guys, go!"

"Not so fast," I said with a look at the group. "Taking Daryl into those tunnels, even without the gas, is a risk. If those stitches come lose while we're down there, there's no guarantee we can get him back out alive," I said seriously. "Now, I'd much rather be able to hide behind our resident cross-bow wielding red-neck, but I'd also like to keep 'im alive."

"You need the firepower," Glenn said softly. "You and Michonne are fast, and you're both really good at getting in and out, but if the kids are…if things aren't good down there, Daryl can end it without hesitation."

"He's right," Michonne said gently. We locked eyes, and for a moment, I realized what she was saying. Despite how many undead lives she'd taken in her time on the run, even she didn't have the heart to put some of our own down.

"So we're risking Daryl's life again?" I asked hoarsely. I didn't like the plan.

"I'll go instead?" Jayson offered.

"To hell you are," I grunted. "You can't shoot straight under the best of circumstances."

"That's not fair," he grunted. "I sure as heck can."

"Stop arguing," Daryl growled. He was standing by the van, Lucy's little hands on his arm. "I'm going, end of story."

"Daryl," Carol pleaded softly. I knew she didn't like the plan any more than the rest of us.

"I'm going," he said sternly. No one pressed the issue. Instead, we all gathered what we could carry. I made sure to grab as many cloths as I could carry, just in case. I also added my small hatchet to my bag, along with a few dozen rounds of ammo.

"Mama!" Lucy cried out as I brushed past her.

"What baby girl?" I asked, turning so I was staring at my beautiful daughter.

"I luff you!" she said brightly, her eyes shining in the dim light.

"I love you too, precious, now you go to sleep like a good girl, you hear?" I ordered her. She nodded and crawled into the back of the van, where the back seats had been turned down, making for a fairly large bed.

"How long can we last in there?" I asked Jayson as I passed.

"30 minutes, maximum," he said sternly. "Any longer, and you're as good as dead. We got lucky the first time – your body was stronger than I thought. But this time? You'll be lucky to last 15 minutes. And be careful. If Daryl starts to bleed out, you need to get him out, sooner rather than later. We didn't test the gases all the way, there's no telling how it would react."

"Fair enough," I nodded. "Best of luck, bro."

"The same. And Kayy?" he said.

"Mmm?"

"Don't try to be no one's hero. This war ain't meant to be fought," he said glumly.

I ignored his statement as I let 'Group A' to the front of the prison. It felt off for me to be doing something this dangerous without Mayhem at my side; I could only hope she was safely guarding my only son.

"It's been 20 minutes since we heard the scream," I said softly. "They've been in the just over an hour. If they're alive, they're going to need our help, and fast," I said, carefully removing one of the remaining vials from my pocket. Maggie had the other one with her group. "When we get down there, we're going to have to move quickly."

"Do you have the rags?" Michonne asked. We already decided it was best to make make-shift masks. I nodded and pulled them from my bag. I handed one to her, before giving Daryl a funny look.

"Just tie it already," he said grimly. He didn't have much use of his wounded arm and at that moment, my only goal was to keep him from bleeding out. I was much shorter than he was, but after straining to tie the rag tightly enough, I tied my own around my mouth.

"Let's go," I said, moving quickly, not wanting to waste any more time.

The trek down to the deepest part of the prison took us nearly a half hour. We had to step over rotting bodies and avoid the crumbled walls, all while keeping as low a profile as possible. Daryl's pace was the first to slow. One minute he was between Michonne and I, the next, he was leaning against a hall, breathing heavily.

"He can't go much longer," Michonne noted.

"None of us can, and we don't have to," I said softly. I shined my light in the far corner and found Mayhem laying there, her breath coming so shallowly, it was almost as if she wasn't breathing at all.

"If she's there…" Daryl's voice broke off.

"Then the boys are either dead or not far now. Listen, Michonne and I will go to the next corner, okay? You stay here," I said gently. We were running out of time. He didn't argue.

We made quick work, following a faint trail of blood through the tunnels, going a lot farther than we planned. The faint sound of approaching footsteps made us both stop to listen. Low, hushed tones made it clear that they were human. Then, the broken scream that pierced our hearts. _Maggie. _

"Go get outta here," I told Michonne. She was about to argue when she saw the look on my face. She trusted me enough to follow my orders. Turning quickly, she made her way back down the tunnel, only stopping to scoop Mayhem up in her arms. Bless her heart for thinking of my dog in times like these.

I ran down the dark corridor, leaping over fallen bodies, my heart pounding in my chest. Moments later, I came up short, stopping beside Glenn, whose face was pale, even in the dim light. His pointed at a heap in the corner, his eyes wide with fright.

Staring back at us was the broken, bloodied, undead body of…

_Carl __Grimes__._

* * *

_A/n - Oh Carl, why didn't you use your head? Ah, you had to die eventually. I never liked your snot nosed little ass anyway. Too much like Shane. ;) Sorry guys, had to kill him off. And I apologize for the short chapter, but I promise, it'll be made up for in the next two chapters, (16 and 17) before leading up to the chilling 3 part conclusion. I've yet to decide if I'm going to carry TO into a second story or not, but I might. ;) It all depends who makes it through to the next few chapters I suppose. _

_Side note - Originally, this chapter was a lot longer, and a lot more drawn out, but I suck at writing really sappy, sad scenes, so I omitted them, to make room for the next two chapters, that are really going to step over the gore and glory threshold! _

_Much love to everyone who has stuck it out this long! _


	17. Chapter 16

Up until that moment, I don't think I fully grasped the horrors of the world we lived in. I couldn't wrap my head around it before. Or maybe I simply didn't want to. Maybe the few months I spent treating fallen soldiers had given me the strength I needed to push past the horrors and just see the bigger picture. But when you're staring death right in the face, through the eyes of a child, you realize just how insanely horrible your world has really become.

None of us wanted to do it. I don't think any of us, other than maybe Daryl, had he been there, would have had the courage and strength it took to put Carl down. None of us had to though, because he didn't even make a move towards us. We just watched in horror as he tore away at the flesh of the man beneath him. His father.

It was a sickening sight; the way he chewed away his father's dead, rotting flesh. It was unbelievable that only hours before, he was sitting around, making soft conversation with my son. Then in dawned on me. If Carl had turned, where was Jacoby?

"I need to know," I whispered, more to myself than anyone else. I handed my bag to Glenn, who took it silently, his eyes locked on the scene before him, as I stepped past Carl. It didn't make sense. Biters went for fresh flesh. Why wasn't he following me?

I couldn't waste my time considering it though. I had to find my son, even if I was just walking into a trap. I didn't care. My entire world was about to fall to pieces anyway, why not go out fighting? Isn't that what we tell ourselves? Go out with a fight? Make your death mean something?

The thoughts that crossed my mind as I pushed deeper into the tunnels, will remain with me the rest of my life. In a sense, I was counting the years we'd had. Jacoby was young, just barely 11. He had his entire life ahead of him. We all did. Before this world went to shit. It didn't seem fair. Looking back, had I known this was going to happen, I never would have brought children into this world.

It didn't take my long to reach the basement of the prison. I'd been down it in a few times before, mostly to retrieve what little was left down there. The smell of death was thick in the air, along with the stale smell of old air. Strangely, I found comfort in the scent. I shined my light around, praying to anyone that would listen, that I would find my son alive.

* * *

"Hell, we can't just leave him like this," Andrea said, the first to break the silence. Even though I knew she was right, I didn't have the heart to do it. Shoot, at that point, I didn't have the heart to do much of anything. I clung to Glenn, tears streaming from my eyes, my heart racing in my chest.

We all feared it. It was the one thing that chilled us all to the bone, ever since Sophia. Ever since the day she was identified. My daddy didn't know he had her locked in the barn, how could he? But that look on Carol's face when she saw her. I'm not sure if anyone of us has forgotten it.

How do you look at your child and accept that they are no longer human? Or better yet, how do you find the strength to put them down? It's not like a wounded calf or a downed horse. It was a human being.

"Maggie, look away," Glenn said softly, his arms turning me away. I felt fresh tears well in my chest as Andrea's soft footsteps approached Carl.

"Why ain't he attacking us?" I asked, looking up so I could see Glenn's expression.

"I don't know," he said softly. "It doesn't make sense."

"Carl?" Andrea called softly, her last weak attempt to break the boy from the zombie-like state. She had to have known it would have no avail. We all knew by now that there was no turning back once you were turned. Shoot, that was why we hacked off my daddy's leg. Once the fever sets in and you turn, it's done for.

I heard Andrea draw a breath, then the sound of metal sliding into flesh and bone. A moment later, the light thud of her pushing him off her knife.

I wanted to scream and cry and curse the world. But I couldn't. I couldn't scream. I just wanted it all to be over. I was tired of death and sadness. We all were, really. But it wasn't right. It sure as heck wasn't fair either.

* * *

I tried every corner and door before finally coming to terms with reality. Jacoby was not down here. I had hoped to God he was, but he wasn't. I tried to recall the other rooms spread out across the prison, but the gas was taking hold again, and I felt my head begin to spin.

"This is pointless," I said aloud as I slid to the ground, shock beginning to win out over determination. "He's dead."

I couldn't accept that. Not after losing Lucas and my father. Not after all we'd been through together. He was my son, and until I knew for sure, I couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that he was dead. Even if it meant dying in the tunnels. I wasn't going to give up on him.

As I weaved my way down the corridor, following my instincts more than anything else, I realized how weak I was growing. Every step felt like it took more and more effort, until I finally collapsed, my heart pounding in my chest, her breathing coming in ragged, pained gasps.

I was hyperaware to the urgency of the situation. If I was that weak, Jacoby was probably dead. I closed my eyes and made peace with gods I didn't believe in. Looking back, I realized that I should have kept going. But I just didn't have the strength. Not until I heard a voice that would change everything.

"_Kayy, don't you dare give up now," his voice chimed. "You're way too far to give up now. You're so close. So close to all the answers you could ever need."_

"_You're dead," I whispered, unable to wrap my head around what was happening._

"_So are you, if you don't pull yourself together," he urged. "Our son is alive, I promise."_

"_You can't promise that. You're dead," I sobbed. My throat burned, my chest ached, and my body felt lifeless; dead. _

"_I promise, Kayy. Jacoby is alive. And you can learn all the answers, all the answers to any question you've ever had, if you only try."_

"_I'm tired," I whispered._

"_So am I."_

"Mom!"

His voice ran so clear. So fucking clear. I forced my eyes open, even though my brain begged me not to. I couldn't see clearly, but I knew. I just knew. He threw himself into my arms, crying bitterly, his body shaking against mine. I forced myself to sit up, hugging him tighter than ever before.

"Mom," he sobbed, his hands tightly gripping my back. "I thought you were dead."

"I did too," I whispered. My throat was swelling from the gasses being pumped into the prison, and from choking on my own vomit.

"I know everything now," he whispered. "C'mon, I put it in my bag," he added. I nodded, and together, we walked down the corridor, Jake leading the way, through a large hole in the wall, into the cool, damp air of the chilly night.

The moment the air hit my skin, my knees gave way, my stomach churning. I felt Jake fall down next to me, a look of pain and fear filling his face. I rolled over, letting the cold air rush at my face as I worked my gun out of my pocket. I flipped the safety off and aimed for the sky. I didn't care if the sound attracted Biters. I needed it to attract our friends, our family.

* * *

"Was that a gunshot?" I asked, looking in the general direction of the prison. It was dark, and though we had lit a fire, we couldn't see much. Me and Glenn made sure there were no Walkers near this end of the lot, so we were feeling a bit safer. All except Andrea and Daryl, who both looked on with desperate faces, waiting to see if my sister-in-law would make it back out.

Before anyone could answer, Mayhem stood up, her tail tucked, her ears perked. She sniffed the air, then let out a short yap, taking off at a speed I'd never thought possible.

"Follow her!" Carol cried. She had been trying to be strong for the rest of the group, especially for Lucy, who had been crying ever since the group returned, without her mother.

Daryl and I took off after the dog. I think Daryl was more determined than anyone to bring Kayy back alive. I didn't know why at the time, but looking back, I think he had more faith in her than any of the rest of us too.

* * *

I felt her cold nose pressed against my face, followed by her warm tongue. I opened my eyes and looked up at the big, furry head of my ever faithful dog. Jake was silent beside me, but I could feel his chest rising and falling under my hand.

I listened as footsteps approached, moving faster than a Biter could have managed.

"Kayy!" a familiar voice cried out. I turned my head just as Jayson threw himself beside me. "Are you alright?"

"Mmm," I muttered softly. I was about to say more, when I felt Jake's breath hitch. "Jake?" I croaked. My throat felt like someone had slammed a hot iron rod down it. I sat up, causing a dizzy spell worse than any I'd felt before.

"Jake?" I whispered, prying my flashlight out from under his thin body. I shined it over him, but saw no signs of blood. I carefully moved my hand, my dirty, bloodstained fingers reaching for his throat. I felt no pulse.

I took a deep breath and pressed my eyes shut, too out of it to fully comprehend the situation. I felt strong arms pull me back, but when I pulled free of their grip, I wasn't completely surprised that Daryl sighed and grabbed my wrist with all his strength.

"Think about it," he said softly. He sounded tired…far older that he really was.

A sickly, flesh hungry groan made my heart drop. Jacoby was looking at me with wide, hungry eyes. Another moan escaped his lips, as his hands reached for my leg. I yanked my leg back, more out of instinct that anything else. Daryl pulled me close, turning my face away just as Jayson's knife plunged into my only son's head. The sound of metal crushing through skull and flesh made my stomach turn. I pulled away from Daryl, crawling blindly through the grass, empty what little was left in my stomach onto the cold, damp ground.

I couldn't comprehend what had just happened. I was numb, yet terrified. Was this really what I had lived for? What I had fought so hard to protect? Then I remember what Jake had said when he found me. _I know everything now._

* * *

_A/n - I am so sorry guys! Real life turned into a nightmare, and I completely forgot to finish uploading the last few chapters! I promise, they're all on their way! _


	18. Chapter 17

I wish I knew what was going through her mind. The way she looked off into the distance, her son's bag clutched in her hands. She hadn't said a word to anyone in the four days since…well since everything happened. She just stared into space, no matter where she was. Whether it be in the van, beside the van, or out in the open. She just stared.

We all tried to get her to talk. Jayson, Hershel, Maggie. Michonne and Andrea both tried on several occasions. She wouldn't even talk to her daughter, who cried for her for hours on end. And Carol tried. She tried harder than any of us, I think. But all Kayy did was stare off into the distance, her face emotionless. She wouldn't move unless someone ordered her to. Then she did so, like a pup that'd been kicked too many times.

Mayhem stayed beside her the whole time, only ever moving when I tossed her a scrap of meat. Someone had to keep that damn dog alive, and it looked like I was the only one willin' to do it.

'Sides, I didn't mind the dog.

Mayhem's low growl reminded me that I had to stay awake, since everyone else was too tired to keep their eyes open any longer. I agreed to take the last shift before sunrise, only because I hoped Kayy would finally start talking or moving or something. She was curled up against the front tire of the van, a thin blanket pulled around her, her eyes wide open as she stared out into the distance, in the general direction of where the sun would rise.

"It's funny, you know?" She said finally. She turned her head, and in the dim light, I could see tears falling from her eyes. "It's ironic really."

"What is?" I asked, moving a little closer. The air was cold, and even though we had a small fire, I was freezing. I was fairly sure she was too, just by how she pulled her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around them. Mayhem whined and curled into my lap, her furry head resting on her owners lap. I felt her bones digging into my stomach, but I didn't push her off – like I said, the damn dog grew on me.

"I spent all this time, fighting tooth and nail to keep my kids safe. I nearly died more times than I can remember, keeping them out of harm's way. Yet, the one time I was almost sure I could find my son, safe, alive, and well, I end up losing him right at the end. Just like I lost everyone else," she said sadly. "I'm so tired," she whispered, her eyes locking on mine. "So fucking tired."

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't a parent. I didn't have anyone to report to, or to care about, or to fight for. I was on my own, even though I was part of the group. I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself.

Then again, I spent my time looking after Carol and Judith, and even Lucy. So I could kinda relate. She was scared. Tired. And lonely.

"You're not losing anyone else," I finally said, reaching for her hand. "I can promise you that."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep," she said with a slight growl. "Don't make a promise that you aren't able to really make."

Her words didn't make sense at the time, but now, months later, I know what she meant.

* * *

I wanted to cry and scream and run away. I wanted to roll over and die, and never face another day. I was tired. Scared. Cold. But I had a daughter to think about, no matter how much I wanted to give up, I had to think about her. She was just a baby. A beautiful, innocent baby.

So as the sun rose across the horizon, I nudged Daryl, who had fallen asleep a few hours earlier, and told him to crash in the van. Then I turned and found Carol feeding the two young girls what looked like a combination of cat food and milk.

"I'm gonna make a run today. These guys need real food," I said softly, as I walked over and kissed Lucy on her head. She looked up at me with those deep, beautiful eyes.

"Mama!" she cried, throwing herself into my arms.

"Hey pretty girl," I said softly

"Are you sure?" Carol asked, looking at me with those deep, motherly eyes.

"Yeah," I said with a nod. "I need to pick something up anyway," I added.

"Alright, I'll make a list of what we need. Are you taking the van or…?" she asked, studying me carefully.

"Probably, unless Daryl's still asleep when I leave. Then I'll just take his bike," I shrugged. "Either way, I'm going alone, and I'm taking Mayhem with me," I added.

"Why alone?" Michonne asked, coming up behind me. She gave me a funny look, and I right off the bat, that going alone wasn't going to be easy.

"Because there's something I need to do while I'm out," I said as calmly as I could. In truth, I just needed a chance to discover the contents of Jacoby's bag alone, without someone hovering over me at all times.

"You shouldn't go alone," she said sternly. I smiled at my friend and shrugged. "You taught me well," I praised. "I'll be fine."

"You'll come back, right?" Carol asked. I realized then, that everyone had been waiting for me to go AWOL. They were waiting for me to finally break down, to lose my grip on what little was left of reality.

"I'll come back," I promised. "I have to. My daughter's here."

That seemed to be a good enough answer, because both Michonne and Carol nodded, before getting on with their activities.

I decided to wait until around noon, when Daryl finally got up and left the van. I smiled as I called for Mayhem, who limped over, her thin body almost swaying in the cold, gentle breeze.

"C'mon girly, we're going for a run," I said as I loaded her into the van, followed by two guns, my first aid kit, an ax, and a thin blanket.

"You shouldn't go alone," Glenn said lightly.

"But I am," I shrugged. "I'll be fine, I promise."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep," Daryl grunted. He wasn't too happy that I demanded he stay with the group. I had Jake's bag slug over my shoulder, my keys in my hand.

"I promise, I'll be back," I said softly. Then I did something I never thought I would. I put my arms around him, let my head rest on his chest, and just listened as his heart pounded in his chest.

"You're the best brother I could've ever asked for," I said softly, letting a few stray tears fall from my eyes before pulling away. "Keep watch over my daughter, would ya?"

"Of course," he said, a tight smile passing his lips.

"Kit, you gon' be okay on your own?" Jayson asked. Kit was a nickname I hadn't heard in years.

"I'll be fine, s'long as you keep an eye on things around here," I said softly. "Don't let these guys work themselves to the ground. I'll be back before sunset, but if I'm not, try not to worry. I'll find somewhere to bunker down. Worst to worst, I'll be back at the crack of dawn."

"You got the map, right?" he asked.

"Don't need one. I know my way around here better than most folks. I might have my way at Woodbury, permitting the freaks aren't out," I said with a shrug. "Otherwise, I'm heading a few towns over, see if I can't get some proper food for the kids. Baby Jude is gonna need more formula, and Luce can't live off mush forever. And as good as Daryl is at bringing back enough good to feed us, we're gonna need a lot more strength if we're gonna take on The Governor," I said softly.

"You're too damn smart, girly," he teased.

"I plan ahead," I lied. In all reality, I couldn't care less what happened at that point. All I wanted was it all to end. To be able to take all the pain and loss and sorrow, and leave it all behind. But we don't always get what we want.

After a few more short goodbyes, I climbed in my old van, turned on the engine, and pulled off, leaving behind the people I had grown to love. Little did I know that the odds of me seeing them again were definitely not in my favor that day. Had I known, I never would have left in the first place.

* * *

_A/n - And now, my friends, we move onto the final 3 chapters. 3 chapters that will make your heart break, make you hate me as a writer, and unfortunately, bring an end to some of our beloved characters. I warn you, the following 3 chapters are not for the weak of heart. They will be gory, and they will involve death to the heroes we have grown to love._

_With that said, they will come in random bursts. I just started a new job, and I'm working hella early shifts, so I won't have time to edit them for a few days, except for tomorrow. I'll try to get them uploaded this week, but I make no promises._

_Again, thank you for all your kind words, and please, don't hesitate to review! I've yet to decide if "The Outbreak" will branch off into another story. I'm hoping it will, but I still haven't really decided. _


	19. Chapter 18

The road was oddly quiet, vacant except for the garbage, debris, and blood that littered the ground. I cracked the windows to let some air in, and was surprised by the freshness of it. Up until then, the air had had a sickening, dead smell to it. Now it smelled of autumn and all its wonders.

I took a moment to watch the trees, the leaves were changing colors, and in the mist of the trees, I saw a family of deer grazing on the green grass. Mayhem sat beside me, her ears perked, her thin body swaying with every bump. I think deep down, I knew something bad was going to happen. The calm before the storm.

Mayhem watched as we passed the now rusted and rotting cars of those who had fallen before us. Every now and then she'd let out a low whine, almost as if she knew we were driving to an uncertain demise. I wished for the millionth time, that the radio towers hadn't gone down. The silence in the car was worse than anything I'd experienced before.

Again, I found myself wishing I had brought someone along. Just for the company.

As we drove down the quiet road, I couldn't help but look back on the last few months. The friendships and hardships we'd come to know and accept. I thought about how kind the group at the prison had been, despite everything we had gone through. Despite all the uncertainty and confusion. The bonds that had been formed, were irreplaceable, impenetrable, unbreakable. For that, I was grateful.

Then I thought about Jacoby and how young he was. He didn't deserve to die the way he had. Shit, none of them did. Not Luke, or Rick or Carl. Not Jacoby or my dad or anyone else. It was hard to imagine that just a few years ago, I was saying goodbye to my family to follow my husband into the army, where I watched so many young men and women die for their country. Where I learned to save a life with little to no supplies. Yet, when the world came crashing down around me, I was unable to save the people that mattered most.

But then I remembered Lucy and Judith. Two young, beautiful girls that will never know what it's like to live a life of freedom and love. They will always know that the world is not a kind place, and will most likely never be one. They won't grow old to see their grandkids get married or raise kids of their own. They won't get married or find true love. They won't get the chance to explore the world. Not the real world, anyway. Not the beautiful, untouched corners that me and Lucas got to explore the first two months of our marriage.

I found myself thinking back to our honeymoon in Southern California. I remembered how we watched the sunset, out on the beach every night for the two weeks we were there. We had so many plans, so many dreams. I was going to become an author, writing stories of simple times, whereas Lucas was going to become a cop. He loved helping people. It was his favorite part of fighting for our freedom.

Mayhem's sharp bark called me back to reality. I hadn't realized that I pulled over, causing us to lose some much needed sunlight. I quickly pulled back on the road and continued onwards, only one thing on my mind; getting back to my daughter alive.

I decided against checking Woodbury. I had already missed the turnoff, and though the sun was still high in the sky, the last thing I wanted was to run into trouble this late in the afternoon. Instead, I turned off onto the highway and kept on going, until I reached a small town that I had often visited before the outbreak. It was somewhere Lucas and I loved, because it was small, the people were friendly, and the kids loved being able to run around the large park in the middle of the square.

The town had been overrun the last time we drove through, but this time, it was quiet. Too quiet really. I decided to park right up to the back door to the old supermarket. I knew from the last time we went through, that the back and front doors had been chained shut, and I was pleased to see that the chains were still intact. I reached under the passenger seat and pulled out the pair of chain cutters I always kept there, along with my flashlight, the small handgun and Mayhem's long leash. I clipped the leash to her tattered collar and quickly got out of the car, following basic safety drills in the process. I kept my back flat against the van as Mayhem slowly jumped out, her body swaying as soon as her paws hit the ground. I pushed my concern for her aside, as I closed the door as quietly as possible.

"Stay close," I told her softly as I quickly ran towards the back door. I had a hard time breaking the chains, but once I did, I was careful not to push the door open too quickly. I'd made that mistake before. I tested the door and groaned as the rusted hinges wailed. I pushed harder, my stomach churning at the smell of rotten flesh and food hit my nose.

Once inside, I tied Mayhem's leash around my waist, freeing my hands to grab what we needed. My thick army duffel could hold a lot, and was easy to enough to carry even when it was full. So I tossed in several packs of diapers, wipes and the few jars of baby food that were still good, before wandering over to the canned good aisle. I tossed in as many cans of beans and other mismatched items, all of which still had a month or two before they spoiled. Next, I went to the freezers, and though electric had been out for the better half of the year, there were still a few items that, if cooked correctly, could be saved. Between a few hunks of meat that looked way too fresh, to a few packages of hotdogs that were still semi-fresh looking, by the time I made it to the dog food aisle, I knew something wasn't right. The store was too well stocked for this late in the game. The food was still too fresh. Quickly, I piled in a few cans of dog and cat food, along with a bag of kibble, a new collar, and a few chews. Worst comes to worst, we could eat cat food, I thought sadly. I dragged the bag across the floor, surveying the store one last time. Deep in my heart, I knew it was a trap, but desperation and hunger kept me from turning tail and running to the safety of my van.

In the corner, I saw three five gallon gas cans. I walked over to them, and was surprised to find them full. Either someone was using this place as base, or something was definitely up. However, I grabbed the cans and piled them on top of my already full duffel bag, for the millionth time grateful that I parked so close. It took a lot of effort to pull the bag across the dirty, rotting floor, but I managed to make it to the door with no problems.

I pulled the door open a crack and was greeted by the glare of the setting sun. The air was cool and fresh, and the birds were still singing their little song. For a moment, I almost thought that maybe the end was near.

I loaded the bag into the van with no problem, before calling to Mayhem. She was standing guard, her tail low, her ears perked forward, and her fur standing on end. Instantly, I knew we were being watched. She growled softly, but jumped into the van anyway. I closed the door after climbing in with her, and made sure to lock the doors after rolling up the windows. I turned on the engine, and sighed with relief as the van purred to life.

I quickly turned away from the store, slammed down on the gas, and high-tailed it out of there.

I made it about a mile before the van sputtered and stalled. I spared a glance out of the back window, and moaned with disbelief. Behind me 5 dirty, rusted cars quickly caught up. In the lead was none other than The Governor.

* * *

_A/n - This was part one of the three part chilling conclusion to "The Outbreak". Stay tuned for what happens next. Will Kayy make it back to the prison alive? What will come of the group now that the prison is a death trap? And what will happen to young Judith and Lucy come the end of this chilling tale? _

_Honestly, this was one of my favorite chapters to write. Only because I visualized it all week while I was at work. :) I already had the rough edit down, it was just a matter of working in the final touches. The last two chapters should be up by Saturday or Sunday, so be ready! _

_And I have decided to continue TO into a second story, with all new twists, enemies, and friendships! _


	20. Chapter 19

Something was wrong. Really, really wrong. We all sort of sensed it at the same time. Lucy stopped watching the fire flicker, Daryl looked up from his crossbow, Carol and Beth stopped washing the clothes in the bucket of dirty water. Maggie and Glenn looked up from the hunk of god knows what they were pondering over. And Hershel let out a deep sigh. I stopped pacing and looked in the general direction my sister in law had driven off into. The sun was low in the sky, the breeze colder than it had been earlier.

"How long has it been?" I asked. Unlike the rest of them, I couldn't tell by the way the sun was setting.

"Too long," Hershel muttered. "It's got to be around 8 now," he added.

"It sure as hell doesn't take 8 hours to make a run," Daryl grunted.

"Maybe she's just trying to cope?" Carol said softly. "Losing your child isn't easy."

"She doesn't cope. She goes that much harder to keep everyone else alive," I said sadly. "She was the same way after she lost her first born."

"I thought Jacoby _was_ her first born?" Hershel said, his eyes widening with curiosity.

"She miscarried three times before him. Twice in a previous relationship, and once with my brother. Her first born was born 16 weeks premature. She died two days later. Nikole Annabelle," I said slowly. "Losing that little girl pushed my brother into his work, which led to Kayy hating herself and life in general for a long time. They were both deployed shortly after that, and Kayy hasn't spoken about Nikki since."

"I had no idea," Carol said sadly.

"She doesn't talk about Nikki. I'm not even sure that her parents knew. They were in California or Nevada or something like that when she found out she was pregnant. It was before they were married though. She was afraid her parents would judge her for getting pregnant so young," I sighed. "I only know because Luke couldn't keep it to himself. He blamed himself for that little girl not making it. But then Jacoby was born, and they were happy. Really happy…" I said. I couldn't help but hate myself for lying. Lucas was cruel to Kayy. She wouldn't admit it, but he was. He controlled her and made her his personal toy. I hate him for what he put her through, even long after they were out of the force and into civilian life.

"You think she ran?" Daryl asked darkly. I didn't much appreciate his tone.

"No," I said simply. "She wouldn't run off. She cares about you all too much to do that," I said sincerely. I saw how she hovered over Daryl. She had a soft spot for him. Beth and Carol too. She had that natural calling.

* * *

I hurt all over. My back, my neck, my ribs. I saw Mayhem laying in a heap a few feet off, my heart breaking when I realized she was no longer there. She was dead. I groaned as I sat up. My pants were at my ankles, my hands tied behind my back. I knew that feeling. I knew what it felt like to have every ounce of dignity stripped away against your will.

"Rise and shine, skank," a dark chuckle made me want to scream like a savage beast.

"I'll kill you!" I screamed. My pushed myself up, which must have surprised him, because it took him all of a second to finally shoot the ground where I stood. Natural instincts made me land awkwardly, causing a ripple of pain to shoot up my ass.

"You're a feisty little thing, aren't you?" he cooed.

"You're a sick son of a bitch!" I roared.

"Now, now, don't talk about my mother like that," he teased. "You know you wanted it. You were a wet little bitch, you screamed my name," he went on. "You loved every second of it."

I let him go on, because I was already ridding myself of the rope that held my hands. I'd been through the same damn thing once before, and I knew all the tricks. I let him go on until my hands were free, my hand already reaching for the only knife he hadn't thought to move. It was only a few inches away…all I had to do was…

"You loved it, didn't you? You even loved it when I kicked that damn mutt of yours away," he hooted.

"You're right," I said in a silky, sweet voice. "I loved it. You're such a strong, determined man," I cooed. I looked around carefully, keeping my eyes locked on him, while scanning carefully out of the corners of my eyes. We were alone. The ground under my bare ass told me we were outside, but the dim light told me it was late. "I love you," I said softly, "I love your strong, hard self."

"Now that's what I wanted to hear," he purred, coming closer. "What do you love?"

"I love how you had no problem taking out the prison. They're all dead, you know?" I lied carelessly. "They got cut off by a herd. I only got out 'cause I threw the boy, that scrawny, annoying little thing in front of me," I went on. "My own son didn't even stand a chance."

"I never liked your kids. They were too demanding," he chuckled as he leaned over me, his face only inches from my own. "What did you think of boy Dixon? Charmin' little bastard, isn't he?"

"I hated him," I lied. "He was such a fucking crybaby."

"Tell me about it," he purred. "Bet he couldn't even keep it down when he saw your sexy ass strut up there. You put it all in motion, you know that? You made this happen. You set the tone. God, I love that about you. You didn't even care!"

I gripped the knife tightly, fighting back tears. I bit down, then, as soon as his right hand grabbed my face, I rolled over, bringing him with me.

"I did care, you sick son of a mother fucking bitch!" I screamed. I pushed him into the dirt, my body landing heavily on top of his. My right hand, which wielded the knife, plunged deeply into his chest, over and over and over, until I was sure he was dead. "That's for taking Rick and Carl and Jacoby from me! That's for killing Merle!" I screamed savagely. I pulled the sharp blade free from his chest before plunging it deeply into his skull. The sickening crunch made me happy. It made me so fucking happy.

"Rest in pieces, you sick fuck!" I screamed. I stood up, my entire body feeling a million times heavier than I ever imagined. I pulled my ripped pants back up, my fingers struggling with the zipper. A few feet away, I found my keys and my other knife. The slick, sharp hunting blade that I had used so many times before. Only then did I realize that my husband's tags were no longer around my neck. I felt a pang of guilt, but then a relief, really. Finally, I was free of all the men who had abused and beaten me down. Finally.

I walked to my van, which to my surprise, wasn't too far away. I stopped as soon as I want in front of it, my world finally crashing down. As I fell to my knees, I felt the entire weight of the world finally fall on top of me, knocking all the fight out of me. Until I remembered that all the answers laid within the confines of my son's tattered bag.

* * *

"Are you sure you're going to be okay without us?" I asked, my hands firmly on Carol's shoulders.

"Yes, just bring her back, okay?" she said strongly. "Her daughter needs her."

"We'll do our best," I said softly. I leaned down and quickly kissed her lips, brushing away the tears that welled in her eyes.

Michonne, Jayson and Andrea waited by the truck, their faces masking all emotions. We didn't like the plan, but it was all we had. We ended up agreeing to split the group down the middle. Those three with me, Glenn and Maggie leading Hershel, Beth, Carol and the kids. It wasn't a great plan, but it'd have to work. We had to find her. For the simple fact she had the van, half the weapons, and hopefully some real supplies.

"Y'all better come back alive," Beth said softly. "We need you here."

"We will, little lady," Jayson said. I really hated that guy. He was too much of a wannabe Yankee fool. Couldn't even shoot straight. But he knew Kayy better than any of us. He'd know where she'd end up. Or so we fucking hoped.

As we drove off into the dark night, none of us wanted to admit we were feeling the same thing. We knew something was wrong, and little did we know how much it'd end up screwing us over.

* * *

'…It wasn't supposed to reach the general public, but when it did, all hell broke loose. We couldn't believe the mass destruction such a simple disease could have. And even now, as the fever rots my brain, I realize how great of a mistake it was to even try to contain it. There's no containing the apocalypse. There's no containing Satan.

Signed,  
Joseph E. Ryte MD.  
Atlanta, Georgia.'

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't understand how one group of people could bring on the end of humanity. I just couldn't…

The loud snapping of a twig, following by a chorus of moans snapped me from my daze. I blinked like a deer caught in headlights, before shining my flashlight across the path. I felt almost as if I wasn't really there. As if I wasn't in my own body. Even as they stumbled closer, I couldn't come to terms with what had just happened.

In a sense, I gave up, right there, on that dirt road, where my nightmare had finally taken a turn. I gave up on everything. On life. On living. On fighting.

* * *

_A/n - And now, onto the shocking finale. :) I love you guys, thanks for sticking with me through this whole journey! _


	21. Chapter 20

They drove in silence. Daryl led the way down the dark, dirt road on his bike, the trio following behind in the old, rusted truck that Jayson had arrived in. Even with the light of the moon to lead them, it was hard to make anything out. Between swerving around obstacles, to trying not to ride one another off the road, to keeping an eye out for Kayy or her dog, or the van, the group had their work cut out for them.

After nearly two hours of driving in silence, Michonne was the first to spot the van, on the side of the road, it's headlights shining on a herd of Walkers.

"Signal Daryl!" She ordered, rolling down her window. Jayson did the same, waving his free hand out the window, revving the motor to get his attention. Thankfully, Daryl had been paying attention. He did a quick U-turn and killed the engine. Jayson did the same. Daryl came in through the back of the truck, his face pale in the dim light.

"We need a plan," he said quickly.

"How many you reckon are out there?" Jayson asked, his eyes widening when he saw how they surrounded the van. Much to his surprise, they hadn't noticed the truck yet, even with the noise Daryl's bike caused.

"About two dozen?" Daryl suggested.

"So almost a dozen each," Andrea said slowly. "You think she's still alive?"

"Maybe," Jayson said carefully. "If she's in the van, she might be."

* * *

"Lady, where are your keys?" a boy around 12 or 13 asked. He was leaning over me, his shaggy hair falling into his eyes.

"Uh…" I was still in a daze, my heart pounding in my chest. I felt around in the dark, which was when I realized we were in the van. I sat up, a sharp pain shooting up my arm.

"I don't know if you were bit or not. If you were, I'll put ya down, but right now, there's a scruffy guy on a motorcycle, and a truck waiting a few yards down the road. We're surrounded right now, but I dunno if they're your lot or not," he said quickly.

"Daryl," I whispered. I felt my throat tighten, my head spin. "And I was bit."

The words hurt to even say. Because as soon as I said them, they were true. I had been bitten. I didn't even remember the kid coming up beside me.

"I'll drive us as close as possible," he said with a nod, my hand reaching for the keys in mine.

I felt the van roar to life, and it was the last sound I registered.

* * *

"What do you mean she's dead?" Daryl screamed, practically throwing the kid to the ground. No one liked it. No one dared to make him stop.

"I'm sorry, sir," the kid said softly, looking at the ground. He was young, only 13 years old, yet he was smart and skilled. He had driven the van all the way back to the prison, even after Kayy turned in the back seat. He only stopped once, and that was to secure her to the back door, her hands bounded behind her back, a rope collar holding her in place. She was still moaning and pulling in the van as they spoke. "I did everything I could. She was bit more than once. It's a wonder she made it as long as she did."

"How'd you find her?" Hershel asked, his voice hoarse, tears in his eyes.

"I heard her scream. I was trying to find shelter before the Walkers caught up with me, but when I heard her scream, I came runnin'. My mama always said to help a woman in need, no matter what the cost," he said softly. "I really thought I could…I dunno," he whispered. Tears fell from his eyes.

Daryl said nothing as he walked over to the van, putting Kayy down as quickly as possible. Later we learned that he spent a long time hating himself for the whole stinking situation. He hated that she went off alone. He hated that she didn't make it back.

But before he had time to grieve, they had bigger fish to fry.

* * *

The prison yard was overrun early the next morning. They came in large, disorganized herds, some coming from every possible angle, making slow, but effective work of the gates, finally breaking through the safe haven….

"Run!" Glenn called out to Maggie, who had been firing as many rounds as possible into the heads of the Walkers for the last hour. They were down to next to nothing, their stamina just as burned out.

Maggie did as Glenn said, his hand tightly gripped in her own as they ran. She had tears running down her face. She was struggling to come to terms with the loss of her father and her sister. Beth had gone down first, trying to protect Lucy, who was wailing loudly.

"I can't see them no more!" she screamed. Daryl had grabbed the girls and ran with them, but now, none of them were anywhere to be seen.

"Daryl's got them, Mag, they're gonna be okay," Glenn said strongly. Carol was following close behind them, tears in her own eyes.

"Michonne, come on!" Andrea screamed a ways away. Her arm was cut to shreds, and deep in Glenn's heart, he knew her fight was over.

There was blood everywhere. And as their fight came to a bitter end, their only hope was to go out together.

* * *

I looked at the journal and bit back tears. It was hard to imagine that all that had happened just five years ago. My mother's neat, pretty writing ended with a bitter "…And this is where it all came to an end…"

Daryl had kept the ratty, leather bound notebook all this time. His reason changed from time to time, but I think he did it so that I had something to remember her by. So I could know my mama.

"Daryl?" I called softly from my perch in the tree. He was sitting beneath it, cleaning his arrows for the millionth time.

"Hmm?" he asked as he looked up at me.

"Why did you run with Judith and me?" I asked, looking over into the meadow where Judith was picking flowers, two little wolf pups racing after her. I don't know where she found the pups; all I knew was that they were her best friends. She loved them as much as my mama loved Mayhem.

"Because," Daryl said simply. That was his answer for almost everything. And now, it wasn't good enough.

"That's not good enough," I said sourly, climbing down from my perch with ease. "Why did you fight so hard for us?"

"Because it was the right thing to do," he said with a shake of his head.

"But we were just little kids. We were no use to you. You could have left without us and saved ya'self a lot of trouble," I pressed.

"Yeah well," he said. That was the end of it. He wouldn't say anything else, no matter how much I pushed and begged.

* * *

Daryl watched from his spot, deep in the woods, as the Walkers killed the only family he really knew. He watched as they fell one at a time, to the hands of what were once innocent people. In one hand, he had Kayy's bag, filled with the notebook she was always scribbling in, along with the few possessions she cherished. In his other, he had his crossbow and the keys to the van.

Judith and Lucy were tucked away in a small cave, safe from the nightmare unraveling just a few yards away. He could hear the moans, the screams, the pleas. And he did nothing. Instead, he turned to the two young children who were looking up at him with wide, fearful eyes, and said "If I ever do anything right, it's gonna be this."

He waited until the herd moved on. Nearly three days later, he piled the girls into the van, moved the bodies out of the way, and drove off into the sunset, tears rolling down his cheeks. He hated himself for leaving them, but deep down, he knew it was what they all would have wanted.

In a world full of death, pain and sorrow, at least those two little girls would be able to see another day. Daryl knew he wasn't no father, not even a good man, but at least, to him, he thought he did one thing right.

He could only hope that some of the group had gotten out alive. One of the cars were missing, and he hoped to whatever god there was, that Carol was with whoever made it out alive. Because he needed that woman more than ever. He needed her to tell him he did the right thing, not that he had ran like the coward he was.

He ran because he didn't want to deal with the deaths of those he sincerely learned to care about. And even years later, he hated himself for it.

* * *

I walked over the Judith, whose long, dark brown hair was lined with the little daisies she had picked a few days before. She looked up at me with those big, brown eyes, a smile on her lips. This had been the first spring we were able to pick flowers, and I think she was overjoyed by the whole thing.

"Lucy," she said brightly, her smile growing. "Come pick the daisies!"

"Maybe later, Judy," I said sweetly. Instead, I walked over to the two wolf pups, picking the smaller of the two up. "Have you named them yet?"

"Yupp," she smiled brightly. "Darry and Carly," she said with a huge grin. "After Daryl and Carol."

"I think those names are just right," I said softly, rubbing the little dark furred girl behind her ears. She licked my fingers softly, her tail wagging against my stomach.

"Lucy," Judith said. She came up next to me, her eyes full of questions. "Why is Daryl so sad?"

"Daryl's got a lot on his mind," I said carefully. "But he loves you and me so much. You know that, right?"

"Yeah. He's our daddy, of course he does."

Her words were so innocent, so pure, yet to me, they meant something completely different. Daryl was not my father, but he was the only dad I could remember. And for me, that was enough.

"You're right," I said as I sat Carly down on the damp grass. "C'mon, let's go find a rabbit or squirrel, so Daryl can cook it for dinner."

We walked into the woods, careful to stay within view of the tree that marked our camp. In the distance, I heard Daryl let out a simple, three note whistle. One he had taught me a few years before. A whistle to remind us that he could see us just fine. I returned the call, before taking hold of Judith's hand, my small shotgun in the other. Together, we scooped the woods, looking for something to bring back.

It had been over a year since we saw our last Walker, but we were always prepared. We had to be. The woods, the roads, the houses. They were all dangerous, scary places.

And as the sun began to set, I looked up at the sky, tears in my eyes, and whispered "Mama, one day, we'll be together again. Until then, know this, I'm gonna do everything I can to be the same kinda woman you were. 'Cause you were one hell of a woman, and one hell of a mom."

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

_A/n- And thus concludes "The Outbreak"! I want to thank you all for having stuck by me for all this time! It's because of you that I ever got around to finishing it! _

_Stay tuned for "Between the Lines", the continuation of TO! Coming soon!_


End file.
